By My Side
by bookfan45
Summary: They have been best friends for years and she has always been by his side. With one year left before college, can Bella let Edward know her true feelings for him amidst the obstacles that could tear between them.
1. Twelve years

**Disclaimer: All these characters belong to Stephanie Meyer.**

* * *

I looked up at my reflection in the mirror as I brushed my teeth, looking into my deep brown eyes staring back at me. My hair was pulled up into a messy bun on the top of my head. I rinsed out my mouth full of tooth paste and splash my face with water. As I patted the left over water residue with a swash cloth, I took in my plain complexion. I had never cared that much about my looks but lately I had been wishing that I could have something unique looking about me. I took out my hair tie and let my locks fall down wildly around my head. The plain brown locks were in need of a trim as the long dead ends fell down past my shoulders. I opened the bathroom door and went over to the top of the stairs.

"Dad, I'm going to sleep now, good night." I called down the stairs knowing Charlie could hear me perfectly fine over the sound of the baseball game he was watching.

"Good night" My father's voice rang back up.

I turned and walked into my room shutting the door and locking it before I went to my bed. I pulled the extra blanket and pillow I had on the bed and put them on the floor like I did every night. Then I went over to turn off the light and crawled into bed.

Soon enough I heard the familiar sound of my bedroom window quietly being lifted up and someone stepping inside. It was dark in my room and I knew he couldn't see me but I smiled and watched the dark shadow walk over towards me before plopping down on the floor on top of the blanket and pillow that were waiting. This had been my nightly routine for the past twelve years now. I still couldn't help but smile loving the fact that every night he climbed through my window and slept next to my bed on the floor. Usually he didn't say anything until I spoke. Maybe because he was afraid of waking me if I was sleeping.

I thought about the first time that I had met him when I was six. My next door neighbors, the Cullens, had lived by me ever since I was born. Dr. Carlisle Cullen was a doctor over at the local town hospital and his wife Esme was a stay at home mother who took care of her two twin children, Emmett and Alice, who happened to be my age.

The day that I will never forget however was the day that I first met Edward. It was unfortunate, the events that led to his arrival at the Cullen's house, but I was grateful that he came into my life. I remember going over to the Cullens with Charlie when I was six to meet the new addition to their family. His empty and sad emerald green eyes looked up at me when I first saw him sitting alone on the couch in the living room. Carlisle had pulled Charlie into the kitchen thinking he was out of earshot/ I however was hiding behind the door frame.

I heard Carlisle tell Charlie how Edward's parents had died in a car accident while Edward was home with a babysitter. Carlisle and Esme were good friends of his parents, as well as Edwards god parents, and it was written in their will that the Cullens were to obtain the legal rights to Edward if anything should happen. I felt so sad for the boy as he sat by himself with his head down. I felt the urge even as a little girl to go to him and comfort him. I went over and sat down on the couch next to him looking at him as he kept his head down.

"Hello, I'm Bella, you must be Edward." He didn't say anything to me and I understood that he probably didn't want to talk so I just sat with him, giving him the silence that he needed but company so he wasn't alone.

For the next few weeks I would see him outside by himself, not talking to anyone as the other kids ran by. I would just go over my him and sit with him like I did the first day.

At first I would sit with him in silence but then I started to talk to him slowly. I never asked him any questions, just talked to him about my life and thoughts on things. He never said a word but just sat there and listened. Slowly but surely as the days went by Edward would come by my side if he saw me first. He then started to follow me if I would stand and walk away. He never said anything but he slowly started to join in with the other kids in games as long as I was with him. Months progressed and the school had him in special programs thinking that he had a disability because of his silence.

* * *

One week during the summer that year I was about to leave to go visit my mother and her boyfriend down in Arizona for a week. I walked over to the Cullen's' house and knocked on the door. Esme answered and let me in right away, happy that I had been coming over the house almost every day to see her mute child.

"Bella you can just walk right in, you don't have to knock Our house is your house." Esme gave me a friendly hug.

"Thanks Esme" I said looking up.

"No thank you." She smiled at me and looked over at Edward. She was grateful for the friendship that I extended to him.

Edward was sitting on the couch watching TV with Emmett and Alice. His eyes turned to me as I walked in and sat down next to him. He gave me his weak smile but said nothing turning back to the TV. I gently touched his hand to get his attention and he looked at me waiting for me to begin.

"Edward, I just came over to say goodbye, I'm going to Arizona for a week so I'll see you next Saturday." I gave him a gentle hug and then turned to stand up, about to say goodbye to Alice and Emmett when I felt someone grab my left hand and tug on it.

"No!" I heard from an unfamiliar voice to my side.

I looked down with my eyes wide to see Edward looking up at me with tears in his. Alice and Emmett had their mouths open in shock, having never seen Edward react that way, let alone speak. Esme had just walked into the room and dropped the bowl of popcorn she had with her for the kids.

"Don't go.." His voice broke.

I looked down at him in shock still and put my hand over his. "Don't worry I'll be back in no time, I'm just going to visit my mom."

I began to pull my arm away but he gripped onto it tighter. "Please don't leave...... please don't leave me." I was at loss for words until Esme was by my side taking my hand from Edward's.

"Don't worry sweetie, Bella will be back in no time." She looked down at him reassuringly.

Charlie was then in the door calling to tell me that we were leaving now. I started to walk towards the door when Edward's voice broke out from behind me again. "NO!! Bella!! Don't go, just stay, please just stay with me."

"Edward its ok, I'll be back in no time, so fast you will forget that I was even gone." I walked then out the door towards Charlie who was now beeping the horn at me to hurry up.

As I made my way to the car I heard footsteps running from behind me. I turned to see Edward's tear streaked face running towards me. "Don't go! Don't leave me! Please, I will do whatever you want, I will talk, just don't go! You won't come back if you leave!" He was now hugging me to him and Esme was there trying to pull him off and tell him that I would come back.

"Edward I promise I will be back in no time, don't worry." I said trying to get him to believe me. Charlie looked on confused about what to do. Edward however was fighting out of Esme's grip and clinging to me.

"They promised they would come back too and they didn't!! Don't leave me and die like them!!" He sobbed.

I knew that he was talking about his parents and so did Esme as she let go of her grip of him and he hugged on to me for dear life. He thought I was going to leave him and die like his parents had.

I didn't even realize then that I was crying too and hugging him back. "Don't worry, I'm not leaving, I'll stay here with you."

He looked up at me with a serious look on his face. "Promise you'll never leave me?"

I nodded back to him, "I promise."

Needless to say, I never made it to Arizona and told my mother to come visit me if she wanted to see me. That night was the first night he sneaked into my room and slept on the floor. I didn't know if it was him making sure I wasn't leaving or if he just didn't want to be alone. From that day on we were inseparable. He was my best friend and I his. We could tell each other everything and were completely comfortable. He was like the brother that I never had. His adopted family soon became a permanent fixture in my life and acted as my second family. Now I laid in bed with him laying on my floor twelve years later.

"Edward, are you awake?" I whispered into the night.

"Yea, I thought you were asleep, what are you thinking about?" He whispered back.

"Nothing just about the past that's all..... Tomorrow is the first day of senior year, next year we are going to be going away to different colleges….". I had been thinking about it recently, the thought of me and Edward being apart just seemed like a strange and unnerving idea. Just like how he was dependent on me all those years back, I was dependent on him.

There wasn't anyone else that knew more about me then him, all my secrets and thoughts. He was the person I talked to about everything and anything. We didn't keep anything from each other. The only thing that I ever kept from him was that somewhere along the way I had fallen irrevocably in love with him. I knew that he didn't feel that same though, and I would always be his best friend. I mean the boy saw me go through my awkward stages of puberty, saw me when I was sickly ill with stomach flu, and held my hair back as I had my face in the toilet. There can't be many romantic ideas that can get created after seeing all of that. Also... I was just plain old Bella. He on the other had aged like a fine wine over the years. The young boy I had once loved as a brother had turned into a Greek god before my eyes. He was insanely handsome with sharp face features, that made you think of a late James Dean, and he had messy bronzed locks that always looked perfect even if he just woke up.

"Let's not think about that now, we still have a year before we have to think about that. Just get some sleep." He answered in a distant voice breaking my trance.

I knew that would be the end of our discussion with that topic and just turned over and fell into a blissful stupor. When I woke up to the sun pouring into my window I looked down to see that the blanket and pillow were folded and placed neatly by my bed. He always left before Charlie could wake up and made his way back home. I knew Charlie was already gone as well because he had to go into the station early today to patrol since he was a policeman. I brushed my teeth and threw my hair up into a messy bun like always. I slid on a pair of jeans, a baggy sweater, grabbed an apple and made my way outside. Alice and Edward were sitting inside his silver Volvo outside my house. Alice was in the back seat like always, giving me the front seat. The day Edward had obtained his license, he made it clear that I had permanent shotgun in his car. I smiled at the idea but still felt bad.

"Alice you don't always have to give me the front you know." She just shrugged and then replied, "You can make it up to me by letting me put you into some decent clothes." I rolled my eyes and just turned around as Edward started the car.

"Where's Emmett?" I suddenly realized that he was missing.

"He took the Jeep because he wanted to get a work out in before school. He gets a little nuts when football season starts." Edward replied, making a little coo coo sign with his fingers at his head. I chuckled at that and he flashed me his beautiful crooked grin. God do I love that grin. This was the year that I had to let him know my feelings for him before it was too late and we went our separate ways in college.

We pulled up to the front of the school and I let out a quick breath. I had a feeling that this year was going to be different, at least I hoped it would be.


	2. Something different

**Disclaimer: All these characters belong to Stephanie Meyer.**

* * *

The halls of school started to fill up with familiar faces. I pulled my folded schedule out of my bag and looked it over one more time. I only had three classes with Edward this year since he was in the more advanced ones. The boy was just naturally brilliant where as I had to work hard for good grades. AP literature, lunch, and gym were the three classes that I would see him in.

Edward, Alice and I went our separate ways to our different classes when the five minute bell rang. My first class was chemistry so I made my way to the basement of the school where the room was located. The class went by fast, as did my next three which were history, calculus, english composition, and then finally lunch. Needless to say my mornings were going to be a boring affair until the afternoon when I had lunch then AP literature with Edward right after. As I made my way around the corner to put my books in my locker, I saw Edward leaning on the locker next to mine with his hands in his pockets.

"How's your day going so far Ms. Swan?" He asked while flashing me his crooked grin.

"Ehh it is alright, pretty uneventful, how about yourself Mr. Cullen?" I said as I opened my locker and put my books away. I took out my books for my next three classes and then turned to start walking to lunch. Edward took my books from me as we started to walk to the lunch room so that I didn't have to carry anything. I looked at him surprised for a second forgetting that last year he did the same thing. As we walked down the hallways I saw the faces of new freshman girls blushing and whispering when Edward walked by. I rolled my eyes and laughed.

Edward looked over at me surprised. "What's so funny?"

"Just noticing the effect you are having on the female population that's all." I replied, smiling back at him.

"Your absurd." Was all he replied with a chuckle.

Of course he was oblivious to his looks and effect on people. Those girls however just saw him as a delicious looking piece of meat, they didn't know what he was really like. I knew, and that just made him even better. All his likes and dislikes, his facial expressions, his thoughts on things. The way his eyebrows pulled together and gave him a little crease in-between them when he was concentrating or trying to solve something, or the way his eyes looked in the morning when he first woke up, all soft hazy with a sleepy glaze still hanging in them. All these things I knew and loved about him. My stream of thought was interrupted when I saw Alice flagging us down from across the cafeteria where she was sitting alone at a table by the window. I took the seat next to Alice and Edward went up to get both of us some food.

"So how is your first day going Alice?" I asked.

She gave me her usual bright smile. "It's good, I love all my classes and I have pretty good people in them. I have psychology with you and Angela so that should be fun."

I nodded in agreement and then heard roars of laughter coming from the door of the cafeteria. Emmett's large muscle build was shaking with laughter as the rest of the guys around him joined in. Most of the other boys were on the football team with him and Emmett was well liked and respected by all. He looked over at Alice and I and waved over at us before turning to the other guys to bid them ado. The one boy next to him with short dirty blond hair and a medium build flashed his eyes over to meet my gaze. I was shocked that he held it and then even more shocked when he gave me a devilish grin. He was an attractive boy to say the least but he was no Edward. I quickly looked down at the table, not use to that kind of attention. If anything he was just being friendly.

Alice seemed to notice however. "James gave you a nice smile there." I looked up at her and saw her teasing eyes.

I just shrugged at her, letting her know I didn't really care. "Yeah weird, he was probably just being friendly because I'm Emmett's friend."

Just then the chair next to me pulled back. "Who's being friendly?" asked a velvety voice to my right. I shot Alice a warning glare knowing that Edward would tease too if she said anything.

"We were just talking about how everyone is very friendly this year that's all."

Emmett pulled a chair back to sit in then and Edward let the topic drop. Even though Emmett had many friends and could sit with anyone in the cafeteria, he always ate with us.

"Edward, coach is on my case again to try and get you onto the team, ever since you showed off your running abilities in gym class last year I haven't heard the end of it." Emmett said with a frustrated look on his face.

Edward chuckled. "Just tell him that I said no thanks again and I am not changing my mind. I don't do sports." He shrugged and took a bite of his pizza.

Emmett looked on in bewilderment. "What does that even mean?"

"I just like my free time that's all, not being tied down with all that stuff." Edward replied looking over at me with a smile. Today we were going to watch our annual start of the school year movie. It was a tradition that we watch a scary movie every Monday after school to look forward to something at the end of the day. We both were suckers for a good gore fest.

The rest of the period we talked and laughed with each other until the bell rang and we started to walk to our next class. I noticed the boy James glance at me again as I passed by him with Edward. I had been in school for the past three years with him and he had never looked at me or I at him so it was definitely a strange occurrence.

When the day was finally over, Edward drove Alice and I home. Charlie didn't get home till around dinner time so Edward and I had the house to ourselves to watch a movie. It didn't matter to Charlie if I was alone with Edward however because he saw him like son and as a brother to me. He even use to let Edward sleepover until high school started and then he told me he didn't think it was appropriate anymore. Obviously he was still oblivious to the fact that Edward had been sleeping on my floor for the past twelve years every night.

I put in one of our favorite gory movies and sat on the couch. Edward sat on the floor with his back in-between my legs. I put my fingers in his hair and ran them through, gently messaging his head. He told me once that he loved when I did that because it relaxed him and I reveled in the thought that he liked it when I touched him. Sometimes he would even roll the sleeve of his shirt up so that I could run my fingertips up and down his arm. I had been doing that for years now and he didn't even have to ask me anymore. It was just an instinct now to touch him. We watched the movie now and laughed together during the over done gruesome parts that didn't seem real.

Afterward we did our homework together and he helped me with mine. I was busy doing my math when his velvety voice cut through the air.

"Bella…" I looked up and he was looking down at his homework while he spoke. "Do you know Victoria Chambers?"

I thought for a second about the name and then remembered who she was. She was in our grade but I had never really talked to her. She didn't seem like a bad person however.

"Umm yea I know of her." I said still looking at him, suddenly curious about why he was asking me about a girl.

"Do you like her?" he asked now looking up to meet my eyes.

"I've never really talked to her so I don't really know her." I watched as he just nodded at my response and continued on with his homework.

"Why do you ask?"

He answered without looking up from his work. "I just have her in a few of my classes and she just seems nice that's all." I was still curious and would definitely keep my eye out for her the next day in school. She had to be significant if he had mentioned her but I was probably overreacting and he had just made a new friend. Edward stayed over for dinner and goofed around with Charlie about their two favorite baseball teams that were facing each other tonight. Edward helped me clean up and went home soon after. I took a shower and got ready for bed. That night when I was laying in bed with Edward laying on my floor, he brought up another strange thing.

"Bella you still up?" he whispered into the night.

"Yeah" I replied looking up at my dark ceiling. There was silence then for the next few minutes until he spoke again.

"You know how important you are to me don't you."

My throat closed and my heartbeat sped up. Was he trying to tell me that he felt the same. _Please tell me he feels the same_.

"You're important to me too Edward." I whispered. _Also I am in love with you_. I kept that thought to myself hoping that he would admit it first. In my wildest dreams he would confess his love to me too. I never thought that would ever happen however, hence in my wildest dreams, but maybe I had just a pinch of luck. I held my breath waiting for him to continue.

"Well your opinion matters more to me than anyone else and you know me better than anyone else. So lets make a deal…. If one of us dates someone we should let the other know if they are good enough for us, that they approve…. because…..because I don't ever want us to have something like that tear us apart."

The room was silent as he waited for me to answer him. I was confused about what he had just asked me. Here I was hoping that he would tell me he loved me but it seemed to go the opposite direction. Was he dating someone? No that couldn't be possible because he would have told me. We tell each other everything. He seemed however to be trying to get around something.

"Bella?" His voice called out nervously. I hadn't answered him yet I just remembered.

"Yes Edward, that sounds good…." Those were our last words before I rolled over and fell asleep contemplating the strange conversation we just had.

* * *

Soon two months of school flew by and everything was the same like it always was. Edward never brought up Victoria or our strange conversation again. I had seen her from a distance in school, since I now had an interest in her after Edward had brought her up. Everything Edward did or said interested me and now she fell into that category. I was disappointed to discover however that she was strikingly pretty. Her beautiful thick red curly hair complemented her clear white skin and blue eyes. She was someone who wouldn't look out of place on Edward's arm..... like I would. It dampened my spirits but I didn't bring myself down too much because he didn't bring her up again. The James boy would now smile at me whenever we would see each other in the school. I happened to have gym class with him but Edward and Emmett were always by me so he never approached.

I was walking to my locker one Friday afternoon right before lunch when I saw in horror Victoria leaning against my locker. Edward was leaning in and talking to her. I stopped in my tracks and the person behind me ran into my back causing me to drop my books and papers to the floor. My face was bright red in embarrassment when I saw two silky white hands helping to clean up my stuff. I turned my head up to see Victoria helping me pick up my books. I stood up slowly and took them from her.

"Are you alright Bella?" Edward asked nervously by my side. I just nodded in response without having any words to say.

"Hey Bella I'm Victoria, I don't think we ever really officially met each other." She said with a smile on her face.

I just smiled back and didn't say anything. What could I say? She then turned her gaze back to Edward.

"Alright I have to go to class, I'll see you in physics Edward. I'll save you a seat in the back so you don't have to suffer in the front." She laughed.

"Thanks Vick, I already took one shower today, don't need another." They both laughed at this and then she walked away.

I stood there frozen like an idiot. Did he call her Vick? They seemed to already have inside jokes with each other as well. Suddenly I felt Edwards gaze on me and looked up at him to see his concentrated face staring back at me. He looked like he was trying to read my thoughts. I gave he a weak smile and then walked to me locker and put my books away. He followed me to lunch but I didn't say much. Alice however picked up on my mood right away and asked what was the matter in front of Edward.

"Nothing I'm just having an off day, a lot of work I have to do for my classes…" I wasn't a very good liar but they both seemed to buy it. Edward had to leave lunch early to go to an honor society meeting. He looked at me hesitantly before leaving as if he wanted to say something but then turned and walked away.

Emmett then sat down and looked at me from across the table with that familiar teasing face that mirrored his sisters. _Oh no_. I groaned internally. When Emmett had that face on, it meant he was up to no good.

"So Bella guess who asked about you before practice the other day?" He waggled his eyes brows twice with a mischievous grin on his face.

"I have no idea Emmett, just get to the point." I wasn't in the mood for games and still was in a grumpy mood.

"James Woodsland." He replied with a smirk. Before I could reply I was interrupted by Alice who was screaming and bouncing up and down in her chair the second she heard the name.

"Oh my god Bella!! I knew it, I knew it, I knew it. He is always smiling at you. What did he say Emmett?!!"

Emmett rolled his eyes at he sisters reaction. "Geez sis calm down. He just wanted to know if Bella was a cool girl… which I told him she was kickass" He winked at me to show me he had my back. "and….. he wanted to know if Bella and Edward were dating each other."

I didn't care for this James boy really but I did find it strange that he would have thought that Edward and I were dating. _I wish…_ "What did you say to that?" I now asked.

"I just told him the truth that you guys weren't like that with each other, just best friends." Emmett shrugged and then went back to his food.

I just went back to eating my food silently and looked up to see Alice's face looking at me. She was about to say something but I mouthed the words "later" to her since I didn't want to discuss anything in front of Emmett.

After school Edward drove me home. I was quiet the whole way and looked out the window to avoid his eyes. When we got to my house he followed me inside. As I approached the living room he finally spoke.

"Bella…are you mad at me or something?" My back was still turned to him as a spoke.

"No I'm just having an off day that's all." I started to feel bad then about giving him the cold shoulder. It really wasn't his fault that that he made a new friend who happened to be a girl. She was nice enough and I was sure I would like her too if I gave her the chance. I turned around now and gave him a weak smile. "I'm sorry I'm acting weird."

He looked at me with a blank stare but then his crooked grin emerged. He had a mischievous glimmer in his eyes and I started backing up knowing what I was in store for.

Before I new what was happening he took three strides over to me and flung me over his shoulder and started to carry me towards the couch. I laughed and squirmed trying to get down and he tossed me gently onto the couch. "Are you in a better mood now?" he asked.

"Ehh… a little better." I replied with a smile. He looked down at me with his beautiful crooked smile.

"You really shouldn't have said that, you leave me no choice…" Soon he jumped on me and started to tickle me until I could no longer take it. We were both out of breath from laughing and wrestling when I noticed that he was laying on top of me now with both hands on either side of my head. His face was just above mine looking down at me. I felt his chest moving in and out against mine. We looked at each other with just the sound of our breathing in the background. He moved one of his hands to brush a piece of hair behind my ear and it felt like a tingling jolt of electricity the second his fingertips touched my skin. I had the sudden urge to kiss him but knew that if he rejected my kiss I wouldn't be able to stand it. I bit my lip then as I usually do when I am nervous and his green eyes flashed down to focus on my lip. Suddenly he jumped off of me and started to head towards the kitchen.

"I'm hungry, do you want anything?" He called without even turning around.

Disappointment and rejection filled my mind as I lay there still unable to move since my body was still shocked at how close I was to him. Why did I even let myself think that he wanted to kiss me? I slowly got up and made my way into the kitchen where he was eating a bowl of cereal. I poured myself a bowl and sat down next to him.

"So what do you want to do tonight?" I asked trying to be casual and shake off the awkwardness.

He looked at me with some regret in his eyes. "Actually I have some things to do tonight, but tomorrow night we can go see that new movie that you wanted to see." What did he have to do tonight I wondered. We did occasionally go off on our own but usually on the weekends Edward was an constant presence at my house or I at his.

"Oh ok…I think I'm going to start reading our first book for AP literature anyway." I tried to sound nonchalant.

He laughed his sweet musical laugh that made my heart melt. "You know you have already read that book at least three times."

"I know but I love that book and want it to be fresh in my mind." I stuck my tongue out at him.

He shook his head at me playfully and added. "That's why I love ya."

_If only you loved me like I loved you_… I thought.


	3. Time to change

**Disclaimer: All these characters belong to Stephanie Meyer.**

* * *

After Edward left I plopped down on the couch and stated to read. After many failed attempts to concentrate, I finally gave up in frustration. It was going to be a boring night. I didn't know what I was going to do but I couldn't sit home. I went to the phone then and decided to call Alice.

"Hey Bella what's up?" She answered on the third ring.

"Hey, nothing I was just wondering if you wanted to do something tonight?"

"Yeah, I'll join in, what do you and Edward have planned?" Of course she assumed that Edward was going to be with me.

"No actually its just me. I was wondering if you had anything in mind."

"Oh" Her voice sounded surprised but then she started to sound excited. "Hey we can go to Emmett's away football game and surprise him. It takes about an hour to get there though." I thought that was a better option then sitting alone so I agreed and told her I could come.

The car ride went pretty quick. I mostly concentrated on the damp roadway while Alice chatted away about the school gossip. Alice seemed to know about everyone and everything and it was nice having someone to keep my mind occupied. As I pulled up to the packing lot, I saw that it was jammed packed with cars. We both got out and started to make our way towards the field where the game seemed to have already started. Alice pointed over to the section of the stands in the distance. The familiar color of Forks high school fans were visible. From this distance it looked like there were many kids from school that had made the drive to come to the game. We slowly made our way over and saw our friends Angela and Jessica waving to us from the top of the bleachers. I didn't really go to sporting events, only the one or two home games with the Cullen family to support Emmett. Forks high school's field wasn't in that good of condition, so home games were limited. Once we made our way up the bleachers I took a seat in between Angela and Alice.

"Wow Bella, I haven't seen you at a game in a while." Commented a girl named Jessica.

I gave a weak smile. "Yeah well I thought I would come with Alice to surprise Emmett."

"Awe that's nice, I'm sure he will be happy to see you guys." Angela added. She was my second favorite out of the girls besides Alice. It was nice to be around females for once, even though I enjoyed my time with Edward more. I was completely myself in front of him, I never had to put up a front and try to fit in. My best female friend was Alice and I was comfortable around her but there was some things that I couldn't even talk to her about that I could with Edward.

"So where is your other half Bella?" I turned to see a girl named Lauren directing her question to me sarcastically. I knew she meant Edward, even without her mentioning his name.

"He uh.. had to do some other stuff tonight."

Thankfully our team scored a touchdown and the line of questioning was cut short. Everyone stood up shouting and cheering. Alice grabbed my arm and forced me up with the others.

"Who scored that one?" asked Lauren.

"Hmm looks like number 30?" Angelia commented.

"Oh! That's James Woodland!" Jessica squealed.

I felt a nudge on my arm and turned to see Alice wiggling her eyebrows at me suggestively. "Hear that Bella, James Woodlands scored the touchdown."

I glared at her, warning her not to talk about that anymore. She laughed at me but luckily dropped it. Half time started soon after and we sat and watched both of the schools' bands take their turns on the field. I was focusing on the music and zoning out when I heard something that Lauren said that grabbed my attention.

"Oh Jess look! I think that's the Victoria girl from our sociology class…. at least I think that's her over there."

Jessica arched her head and looked to see where Lauren was pointing. I followed her gaze now as well.

"Yeah that's definitely her…who is she with?" Jessica replied.

I found Victoria in the crowd of people walking this way and caught my breath when I realized who she was with. I couldn't see his face in the sea of people blocking him but I could recognize that bronze head of hair anywhere. Soon enough Lauren and Jessica recognized him too.

"Hey that's Edward Cullen she's with." Jessica shouted in shock.

Alice turned her head right away and looked in their direction. "My brother's here?"

She then looked at me quickly with narrowed eyes. "Bella Swan have you been holding out on me with gossip about my brother?"

"No I….I didn't know he was coming here…." The hurt face I tried to mask wasn't fast enough for Alice to miss and her annoyed face soon turned to confusion.

"He didn't tell you he was coming to the game?"

I just shook my head. Unfortunately Lauren stood up on the bleachers and started to wave and yell frantically at Victoria. "Victoria!! Over here!"

I looked over at the two of them. Victoria had spotted Lauren and was walking towards us. Edward strolled casually by her side with his hands in his pockets, his face expressionless. He still didn't see me sitting a few seats down and I tried to lower myself to avoid his gaze. Just then however his green eyes flashed to me. Once he recognized me his face looked shocked then guilty. He ran his hand over his forehead quickly and then proceeded up the bleachers.

"Hey guys mind if we sit with you." Victoria asked with a cheerful face.

"Of course you guys can." Lauren replied happily. I officially did not care for that girl at all.

They sat down two bleachers in front of us and Edward seemed suddenly transfixed on the game, unwilling himself to turn around and look at me. I had a feeling he was going to pretend that he didn't really see Alice and I. I wouldn't look at him either then.

"So what are you two up to tonight?" Lauren asked with what seemed like a hidden agenda in her tone .

Victoria turned around to face us to talk. "Well Edward and I grabbed some dinner and we thought we would stop and see the game for a bit." Lauren and Jessica both looked at each other with a sly smile on their faces after she said this.

Victoria's blue eyes flashed toward Alice and I and she seemed surprised. "Oh hey Alice, hey Bella! Edward you didn't tell me they would be here." He rubbed the back of his neck with his hand and then slowly turned around with a unconvincing smile on his face.

"Oh hey guys, I didn't know you were going to the game." He glanced at my face just then. I didn't have the strength to muster up a smile and just said, "Like wise", before turning my attention back on the game.

I had to act like this didn't bother me. Once and a while I would feel his eyes on me but I never made eye contact.

As soon as the game was over I stood up and made my way down the bleachers with Alice by my side. I just wanted to get to the field to see Emmett and then get the heck out of there. Of course my fast pace and the slippery bleacher step didn't agree with each other and next thing I knew I was falling forward. Two familiar arms reach out and caught me however and I looked up to see Edward staring down at me. It caught me by surprise and soon I felt myself melting at his gorgeous face back at me. I quickly remembered my situation and shook out of his arms roughly. Alice was by my side just then. "Bella are you ok?"

"I'm fine, lets just go say good job to Emmett and get out of here please?" She nodded and we made our way onto the muddy field. She tried to tip toe around the muddy holes in her pink flats but I just stomped on through them. The second Emmett saw us he grabbed us both into a bear hug and lifted us off the ground.

"Ewe Emmett, your all muddy and gross, let us down." Alice whined. He gave us his hearty laugh and put us down.

"I'm happy you guys got to come! Good game huh?"

"Good job Em, you played intense out there." I added giving him a smile and playfully punching his arm.

"Aw thanks Bells" He said as he ruffled my hair. James suddenly ran by Emmett's side.

"Hey Emmett, come on the bus is leaving." His blank face soon turned into a smile when he noticed me standing there. "Hey Bella." I gave him a feeble smile.

"I'll be there in a second, tell them to hold up." Emmett responded. James then ran off. I felt a sudden charge in the air and knew that Edward was at my side. "Good game Em!"

Emmett looked thrilled to see Edward. "You came too! Thanks man that means a lot. Alright I have to go before the bus leaves without me, see everyone at home." The second he left I started to walk across the field with Alice towards the parking lot ignoring the fact that Edward was standing near me. As I started to pull away he grabbed my arm. I turned around and stared at him blankly.

"Do you guys need a ride home?" He looked at me with worry in his eyes.

"No I drove my truck here." I said coldly and turned away again.

"Bella…" He called out desperately. When I turned back to face him however he seemed at lost for words.

"Just go back to your date Edward." I said harshly, seeing him wince at my tone before walking off. As we approached my truck I felt my blood boiling. I tried to open my old truck's door and it wouldn't budge. I started to pull on it aggressively and then kicked the door. "OPEN UP YOU STUPID DOOR!" I shouted before kicking it again.

"Whoa calm down Bella." Alice appeared next to me. "Here let me drive."

I gave her the keys willingly. We drove in silence for the rest of the trip home. Alice knew I wasn't in the mood to talk and thankfully didn't ask me any questions. When we finally made it home she started talking.

"Bella tomorrow I'm coming over and we are getting breakfast." She said this as a statement not a question. Alice had been nice enough to give me a question free night so I owed her and just nodded in agreement. She hugged me and then made her way next door.

The house was dark as I made my way to the kitchen. Charlie was working the night shift so I knew he wouldn't be home until the next morning. I turned on the kitchen light only and threw my stuff down on the table. The sound of foot steps came from the doorway. I knew it was him but chose to ignore it. I took my time to go over to the sink to get a glass of water. I felt his eyes follow the back of my head the whole time. After five minutes of silence he finally broke.

"Are you going to talk to me?" He asked me with frustration in his voice.

I turned to see his aggravated face staring back. I knew I didn't have a right to be mad at him for going on a date, but at the same time I was hurt that he didn't tell me. I also wished that it was me who went out with him.

"Well you don't seem to talk to me." I said while trying to maintain a straight face.

He ran his hand through his hair like he usually does when he is anxious and then his eyes turned pleading. "Bella I'm sorry I didn't tell you…. I just…I just didn't think it was that big of a deal."

"I thought we told each other everything." I whimpered. His eyes took me in and then softened slightly.

"I do tell you everything, and technically I did tell you…..about two months ago." He gave me a half smile trying to make the conversation take a different turn. I rolled my eyes at him, remembering his vague question about if I knew Victoria two months ago. That was hardly a confession about him liking her. Was she his girlfriend? My throat clamped up a that thought and I swallowed.

"You could have told me that she was your girlfriend, I would have been fine with it." I lied.

He looked at me confused and then smiled. "She's not my girlfriend Bella, we've only gone out on a few dates that's all." The sudden wave of relief at hearing that she wasn't his girlfriend was cut short by his last few words. He had been out with her before and had been keeping it from me. Edward seemed to realize what he admitted and his smile vanished. He looked regretful.

"Well I'm happy that's cleared up then, goodnight Edward." I muttered as I stormed past him heading to my room. He was following close behind me.

"Come on Bella, I know I should have told you, I'm sorry I didn't." I turned around sharply and he almost bumped into me.

"Edward, maybe you shouldn't sleep in my room tonight, I don't think that Victoria would like you sleeping in another girl's room."

He looked shocked at me and then gave me a crooked smile. "Bella, I've slept on your floor for the past twelve years now and don't plan to stop…. and not that it matters but there is hardly anything for Victoria to worry about." His words felt like a slap in the face._There is hardly anything for Victoria to worry about… _So there it was, his confirmation to me that he didn't see me that way. Nothing would happen between us.

I felt tears sting my eyes, but I couldn't let him see them fall. "Right… no girl would have to worry about me, who would ever want me.." I whispered. He looked at my face questionably and then a wave of pain showed on his.

"Bella that's not what I", but I cut him off. "Don't worry about it Edward." I said as I walked past him now out of my room.

"Where are you going?" He asked.

"To sleep on the couch…please just leave me alone tonight."

I made my way down stairs and laid face down on the couch. My lips were pressed into a thin line so he wouldn't hear me cry, but my eyes finally spilled over. It was dark in the room so I knew he couldn't see my face. I thought I felt his hand touch my hair as I started to fall asleep but I couldn't look at him. When I woke up in the morning, the blanket from my room was covering me. I had never gone to sleep on bad terms with Edward before and I did feel bad, especially after seeing he cared enough to put a blanket on me.

I made my way upstairs to get changed remembering that I was going to have breakfast with Alice. When I looked at myself in the mirror, my eyes were puffy and red. My hair looked greasy and limp as it hung flat on my head. A sudden realization hit me. Edward was right, how could anyone ever want me.... Well if this Bella wasn't good enough for him, then I would be someone else. I quickly ran into my room and got the shoe box I had stashed under my bed out. Over the summers during high school I had worked at the Newton's sporting goods store in town and had saved my money. I had planned on saving up to go on a trip around the world with Edward after college. We had talked about all the places and things we wanted to see. As I counted the money I knew that I had enough to do whatever I wanted with it. It wasn't very good of me to not put this kind of money in the bank but it was my own personal savings and I wanted it close. The door opened downstairs and I heard Alice's familiar voice calling up the stairs. I grabbed the box, ran down stairs, dragged her into the kitchen with me, and shoved her into one of the chairs. I took the seat next to her and looked at her seriously. She looked surprised at my face but waited for me to start.

"Alice I have a favor to ask you."

She looked me over confused and then nodded. "Okk... what is it?"

I didn't say anything and just gave her the box of money. When she opened it up and counted it she looked even more confused. "Bella there is five thousand dollars here, what do you want me to do with this?"

I looked her directly in the eye and answered her. "Make me different."


	4. Help from Alice

**Disclaimer: All these characters belong to Stephanie Meyer.**

**Author's note:**

Sorry for not updating, it was finals week. Now that I have off I will try to update sooner. Hope you enjoy.

* * *

Alice stared at me for a couple seconds before my words registered. "Make you different? Bella I don't think you need to be different, you are fine just the way you are."

I shook my head and tried to keep in my frustration. "Alice I know you are just trying to be a good friend but I really don't want to hear that right now. Will you help me or not?"

She studied my face to see if I was bluffing. After she was satisfied with my seriousness she perked up a bit. "Ok I will help you in certain departments that you could improve on, but at the end of the day you will still be the Bella that we all know and love alright?"

I just nodded fiercely and pulled her into a hug.

"Alright enough of that" She joked. "We are going to have a busy day. I doubt that you will spend all of this money. Why don't you go up stairs and take a shower and I'll go through your closet and see if there is anything I can salvage from that."

I ran up stairs and took a quick shower, feeling better already. As I made my way into my room I saw Alice throwing clothes into three different piles. She turned to me and explained. "Ok this pile over here is your keeps" That pile was the smallest of the three and I noticed that the cloths were outfits Alice had given me over the years on special occasions. There were some outfits that had never even been worn.

She pointed to the biggest pile on her right. "This is what you are getting rid of." I gulped realizing that was more than half of my outfits I actually wore.

She then pointed to the third pile. "Why on earth do you have so many of Edwards shirts and sweatshirts." I blushed instantly. Over the years I had my own little collection of clothes he would bring over to sleep in or forgot. He never said anything to me if he saw me wearing one of his sweat shirts and I sometimes worn his plain cotton tees to bed. I loved wearing them because they smelled like his warm delicious smell. Of course I didn't want to let Alice know that so I tried to play it off.

"They are just comfortable that's all." She just shook her head in disappointment at my clothing choices.

"Well you can wear these in the comfort of your own home, but that's all. Understood?"

"Yea yea I got it. So what's next?"

I should have known what I was in for the second Alice's eyes lit up. "We are going shopping! I will borrow Esme's car so you don't have to drive."

Alice made her way over to her house next door while I wrote a note to Charlie who was still sleeping, before going to wait outside. As I was waiting out on the curb next to Esme's car, I saw Alice bound out of the house with Edward on her tail. He was wearing gray sweat pants and nothing else. I had seen his bare chest before but it always made me catch my breath every single time. His hair was all ruffled and his face looked sleepy like he had just woken up. This was one of my favorite Edward appearances because it always left me with fantasies of waking up with him holding me in his arms. I did one last double take of his lean arms, cut stomach, and pecks before I pulled myself together as they approached. Thankfully it was cold outside so my rosy cheeks could be blamed on the weather, not from blushing.

"Alice I just don't see why I'm not allowed to come to the mall with you guys that's all. Every time you drag Bella to the mall I've been there." He looked at me with a lazy smile and winked. Edward had pulled himself out of bed to go to the mall with us? That's when I realized that he was trying to help me out. Every time Alice had dragged me to the mall after I put up a good fight, Edward would always tag along so that the torturous hours weren't as bad. I actually had a good time with him goofing around in the stores. Alice always hated when Edward came because she didn't have my attention so she eventually stopped asking me to go.

"This is just a girl trip Edward and we are going to be out for the whole day so you would get bored. Also I think Bella needs to actually accomplish some shopping this time. " Alice huffed and then turned to get into the car.

"I never get bored with you guys. Go ahead and tell her I can come Bell." He looked at me reassuringly.

I almost stammered as I looked down at the ground while I spoke. It took everything I had to say no.

"Alice is right, its probably better if we just go… sorry." I waited for him to speak and when he didn't I lifted my head up to meet his face. The smile was gone and he looked a little hurt. I turned to get into the car and heard his voice again. "Remember tonight we are going to see that movie you wanted to see."

I did want to spend as much time with Edward as possible but I was still upset about what happened the night before and needed to prove to him that I could be a type of girl like Victoria. This weekend I was getting rid of the old Bella.

I decided right then and there that he wouldn't see me again until I was different. "Actually Edward I can't tonight, I'll be busy with stuff." After that I got into the car and we drove off. I stole a quick glance in my driver side mirror and saw him still standing there watching us drive away.

The drive to the mall was quiet but I finally spoke up after I caught Alice giving me side glances. "What is it Alice?"

A big smile then broke on her face. "I had a sudden epiphany about why you wanted to change the way you look that's all. I think a certain boy is involved."

I gulped knowing she probably suspected Edward. I really wasn't ready to confess that to anyone yet and knew every time I saw him or spoke of him Alice would tease me or make it obvious in front of him. After a silence grew between us, Alice suddenly broke.

"Oh come on Bella, I know you have the hotts for James Woodsland!" I breathed out a sigh of relief. If she thought it was James Woodsland than I would play along to keep her off my trail about being in love with Edward. "Yup Alice your right, its James Woodsland."

She squealed with delight. "Oh he is definitely good looking Bella. I'm happy you like someone. I was beginning to think that you and my brother were secretly hooking up with each other until I saw him at the game with Victoria." She giggled at this. I stayed quiet and looked out the window.

Once we made it to the mall, Alice had me in and out of stores in no time. I tired on jeans, skirts, dresses, shirts, sweaters, jackets and shoes. Thankfully Alice did know that I like to wear more earthy colors like greens and blues, so many of those colors were incorporated into the clothes I bought. Alice also knew that my shoe of choice were my converses so she bargained with me and made me buy different colored pairs since all I owned was black. The last store we went to was hair and makeup. This was the area that I was most handicap in, but Alice tried to explain the different face moisturizers and powders that would look good on my pale complexion. I told her that I would buy some of the things that she picked out for me but I wasn't going to start wearing makeup like a hooker either. Our last stop was to a salon just outside of the mall. Alice told me to wait outside on the bench while she checked it out. As I waited for her to come back I sat down and thought about how different this year had been already. Everything felt like it was changing for the worst. I was just trying to adapt to the change so I wouldn't be stuck in the past. I remembered the first time I realized that I was in love with Edward.

_It was on my thirteen birthday and my dad had just bought me a new bike. Edward and I went for a bike ride down a winding road surrounded by forest. There was an incline in the road and I started to accelerate faster than Edward. I felt pretty smug that I was going faster than him and was not paying attention when a sudden turn came in the road. I tried to turn my bike fast enough to make it but the speed and the gravel on the rode made my bike skid out from under me, causing me to fly forward. Thankfully I had a helmet, so my head was protected, but the rest of my body was'nt so lucky. I knew I was bleeding from the smell around me but I didn't want to move just yet._

_Edward rushed over to my side quickly and looked panic stricken. "Bella!! Oh jeezes Bella! Stay still okay I'm going to pick you up." He was bigger than me at that age but I didn't think he could get me up regardless. My house was a distance up the road and I knew it would take all his strength to carry me that far. I tried to stand up on my own but the sudden pierce of pain in my leg begged to differ. He scooped me up in his arms, not bothering about my blood getting on his clothes and carried me up the hill. I knew he was getting tired but he kept his eyes focused staraight ahead until we made it to our street. Charlie was outside and once he spotted us he ran over to us frantically. When my Dad tried to get me out of Edward's arms, he didn't budge and wouldn't let me go. My dad got us into his car and sped me, still wrapped in Edward's arms, to the hospital. I was in pain but felt so protected and secure with him holding me. He finally gave me to the doctors when we went into the hospital but he held my hand the whole time._

"Bella! Bella! Hello are you in there?" Alice waved her hand in front of my face and broke me from my reverie.

"Yea sorry what's up?"

"Well I couldn't get you an appointment today but I got you the whole treatment tomorrow. I booked an appointment for myself too and we are going to have a whole spa day!" She seemed really excited and even though I wasn't the type of girl who liked to be pampered I went along with it.

"That sounds good Alice. I cant wait." I tried to sound sincere. We both got food after that and then made our way home. I looked at the clock in the car and saw that it was five o'clock already. When we finally got home I noticed that Edward's car was missing from the driveway. Even though I had canceled on him I was still disappointed to see that he wasn't home. Alice helped me carry all the bags up to my room and put everything away in my closet and dresser for me. After we were done I laid down on my bed, my body exhausted from running around all day. Alice was still fussing about the wonderful things I bought and how good I will look in them for James. Charlie's voice then called up from down stairs. "Bells I ordered pizza for you guys, it should be here in fifteen minutes or so."

"Thanks Dad!" I yelled down.

"Alright I'm going to go bring the clothes that I bought to my house. I'll be right back." She left then and I stayed laying on my bed looking up at the ceiling.

I heard a car door slam shut from outside and got off my bed to look out my window. Edward was walking away from his silver Volvo and heading inside his house. I smiled to myself knowing that he was home at least and not on a date with Victoria. When I turned away from the window, I started to look at all the different pictures hanging up on my wall. Most of them were of Edward and I over the years. Many of them had us making funny faces at each other or the camera. There were ones of Alice, Emmett, Carlisle, and Esme as well. I always went on family vacations with them since Charlie and I never did. They had a lake house about a two hour drive away secluded deep in the woods. It was more like a little cottage that Carlisle had surprised Esme with for one of their anniversaries. It was my favorite place to go with them in the summer. The last picture I ended on was the most recent picture taken of Edward and I. It was taken this past summer in front of the lake, the last evening we were there. I was on his back with my arms wrapped around his neck and his arms under my legs holding me up. We weren't ready for the picture to be taken and were both laughing hysterically at Emmett who had slipped and fell into mud behind Alice who was taking the picture. I loved the candid moment because it showed one of the many happy memories I had with him. Alice bounded into the door just then and made me jumped out of my skin.

"So what is going on with you and my brother?" She caught me out of the blue with that question and I didn't know how to reply.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know I just noticed he was really quiet and moody when he came home, what did you say to him?"

I did feel bad, knowing he was probably mad at me for canceling on him but he did the same to me the night before. "I don't know." I didn't really want to talk to Alice about him so I hoped she would drop it.

"Maybe him and Victoria got into a fight." That was definitely an area that I did not want to discuss, but knowing Alice she loved a good gossip.

"Maybe. Hey I think the pizza should be here by now lets go see." I used that ploy to avoid that conversation and thankfully when we made it downstairs the pizza was there. Charlie ate with us and asked us how our day was. He looked at me a few times in pity knowing how I felt about shopping with Alice but I just gave him the shoulder shrug to let him know it wasn't too bad. After dinner Alice told me that our appointment wasn't until two the next day so I could sleep in. It was already around 8 o'clock and I was getting very tired. After I cleaned the dishes and Alice left, I told Charlie I was going up for the night.

I headed up to my room and took out one of my books I had to read for class. I looked outside the window and saw that Edward's car was still there. I must have dozed off while I was reading because when I woke up it was the next day. It was around 10am and I knew I had to get a few chores done before I spent my day at the spa with Alice. I cleaned the house a little and threw in a load of laundry. After that I took my grocery list and made a trip to the store to get some things. That took longer then I had expected and it was one o'clock by the time I packed everything away. Alice came over and rushed me out of the house and into her car. We made it to the mall with some time to spare so we grabbed a quick lunch.

When we finally made it to our appointments I was taken into a different room and told to change into a robe. It turned out that Alice had ordered a whole treatment of massages, facials, scrubs, mineral bath, and then finally hair cut and blow out. I was a little nervous to take my clothes off but the masseuse was a very nice woman and made me feel comfortable. Everything was better than I had expected and I even fell asleep during the massage. It was few of the most relaxing hours I had ever spent in my life. My skin felt so soft and fresh after the treatments were over. I was led to a different part of the salon where I met Alice over by the hair section. She was done with her treatment too and was talking to one of the hair stylists when I made my way over.

"Here she is!" Alice said while turning to me.

The hairstylist looked over my hair and then seemed pleased. "I know just what to do with her."

Alice beamed at me while they led me over to the washing station. I got to pick out my shampoo and chose one that smelled like strawberries because it was close to the scent of the one I usually use. This one however had more of a distinct heavenly smell and I made a note in my head to buy the shampoo and conditioner before I left. When I was finally seated in the cutting chair, she started to chop away. Bits of my hair fell away from my head onto the floor. I eventually closed my eyes because I started to get nervous about the cut. After she was done she blow-dried my hair and sprayed it with something before stepping away.

Alice was jumping up and down with excitement. "Bella you look excellent!!" I swirled my chair around and looked at myself in the mirror. My hair was still long but it had long and short layers throughout. There was a face frame now that hung around my heart shaped face with a hint of a side bang. The locks looked voluptuous and alive, not dead and dull like before. I smiled and thanked the hair stylist. After I bought the shampoo and conditioner that they used on me as well as some lotions and oils, I made my way home with Alice.

Charlie complimented me on my hair and Alice stayed for dinner again. We made our way up to my room and she picked out an outfit for school the next day. It was a deep blue V-neck shirt and hip hugging jeans with my black converses. She gave me my new gray jacket to pair with it as well. I was doing some last minute homework on my bed when she sat down next to me. I looked up to see her staring down at the floor.

"Bella... I know that you considered this a favor to you but I just wanted to say thank you for spending time with me this weekend. I know that we don't have the friendship that you and Edward have but it felt nice to bond with you. Sometimes I guess I feel out of place because you and Edward have each other and Emmett has his sports, I don't have anyone to share stuff with. But I just want you to know that you are like a sister to me and even though I'm not your go to person for things, I'll always be here for you because you are my best friend."

I didn't know what to say so I pulled her into a big hug and she laughed. "Jeezes Bella don't get all mushy gushy with me now, I'm the only one who can do that."

We laughed and chatted away about school and the weekend. After Alice left I finished up my homework and turned my lights out early. It was already dark outside and I knew he would be coming over soon. I heard my window open and closed my eyes pretending to be asleep.

"Bella?" his velvet voice called out. I wanted to call out to him but I couldn't. Tomorrow I would be someone different, someone who he could love. Tonight I was still old Bella and left it at that. I rolled over and feel asleep, at peace knowing that he was there with me and hoping that soon I would be much more than his best friend.


	5. Something new

**Disclaimer: All these characters belong to Stephanie Meyer.**

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The next morning I woke up to Alice shaking me. I groaned and tried to go back to sleep, but she threw my blanket off of me. "Alice what are you doing here so early!"

"I am here to help you get ready. Today everyone gets to see your new look and I want to make sure you look your best." She dragged me out of bed and told me to jump in the shower. After a quick shower, she threw me my clothes at the door. Once changed, she sat me down in a chair and gave me a coffee. Then Alice went to work on my hair, combing it through and blow-drying it this way and that way, and running a flat iron in different sections. Next came the makeup. Blush was added to my cheeks, mascara to my eyes, and tinted lip balm to make my full lips poutier. Alice stepped back and looked at me with a smile. "I did it more natural, just like you like, but it definitely enhances your features."

"Alice do you plan on coming over here every morning and doing this to me?"

" No, just the first few days until you get the hang of it. I wrote everything out for you though so that you know what to do." Of course Alice would write out detailed instructions for me about how to get ready in the morning.

"Oh and you wont be going to school with Edward and I today." She added nonchalantly.

"What! Why not?"

Alice pursed her lips. "Bella you are never going to give James the right impression of you if you are clinging on to Edward constantly. You need to show that you are a strong independent woman who can drive herself to and from school."

"Alice I do not cling to Edward and the only reason that I get a ride from him is because we live right next door to each other and its stupid to drive two cars when we are going to the same place."

"Okay I understand, but just for this first day can you show up on your own please? Also… I know it will piss off Edward and he was a grouch this weekend to me for no reason." She added that in slyly with a little smirk.

I shook my head at her and rolled my eyes. "Fine just this one day that's all." She clapped her hands and left to head to school.

I looked out my front window to see Edward waiting by the car. He had his black ray ban sunglass on and was leaning against the car with his hands in his pockets. When Alice appeared and took the front seat he looked baffled. I couldn't hear what he was saying but he looked back at my house aggravated. He got into the car and sped off, faster than normal.

I went back into the bathroom to look at myself in the mirror for the first time and was shocked with what I saw. It wasn't normal baby face Bella anymore. I looked older and edgier. My skin looked clear and smooth and my oval eyes popped out from under my thick long lashes. The deep blue neck shirt I wore accentuated my neck and collar bone and cut down to show a hint of cleavage. The outfit was very different from my standard big baggy sweatshirt over a pair of old jeans look. I actually looked very feminine.

I didn't want to get to school too early and took my time leaving the house. When I pulled up in front of the school I didn't see anyone walking in and the parking lot was full. Luckily there was a spot in the far back of the lot that I took.. I realized then that I must be later than I had expected and rushed inside. The halls were empty except for the last couple of kids staggering into class and I sped to my locker to get my books and put my jacket away. Suddenly the final bell rang and I sprinted as fast as I could to my first class.

I was winded and out of breathe when I opened the door and didn't realize that the room fell silent suddenly. The teacher looked at me as I started to apologize.

"Sorry Mr. White, I was running a little late today."

Mr. White then looked at me a little confused. "I'm sorry but who are you?" Now I was the confused one. Mr. White knew who I was.

"Um.. Bella, its Bella."

His face soon turned surprised then apologetic. "Oh my. I'm sorry Bella, I didn't recognize you. Go ahead and take your seat, just be here on time next time."

I nodded and made my way over to my seat with every pair of eyes in the class staring at me. I kept my head down embarrassed by the stares and whispers and took my seat. The rest of my day went pretty much the same way in every single class. Many people even came up to me and asked if I was new. I was bewildered that so many people didn't recognize me or even know who I was when I told them my name. I finally got frustrated trying to explain that I had been going to school here for the last four years and just said that I was the girl who hung out with Edward Cullen. Once I said that recognition clicked in their brains and they seemed even more surprised.

Now it was time for lunch and I longed to see Edward up close again. This weekend had been tough and I did miss him. I turned the corner and saw him leaning against my locker with his head down in thought. The butterflies in my stomach began to go nuts. As I got closer he snapped his head up and looked me directly in the eye with astonishment. He blinked several times in surprise and stood up straighter. His eyes bore into me and I felt helpless under his stare. As I approached him I saw that his normally emerald green eyes looked darker. He had never looked at me this way before. I was usually able to read his emotions quite easily but I couldn't pick up on it now. I finally broke the stare and opened my locker to get my books. He just stood there silently looking at me. When I turned my eyes to look back at him he was closer to me then I had realized and he looked as if he wanted to say something but was holding back.

"So how was you weekend?" I asked nervously.

He seemed to snap out of his daze and stepped back. "It was ok, how about you?"

"It was alright I guess." I closed my locker and Edward took my books for me. As we walked to the cafeteria I felt him walk closer to me than he usually did but he remained silent. I was disappointed that I didn't get a better reaction from him than I was hoping for. This was all for him in the end and I suddenly felt discouraged. Alice was waving over to us as we entered the cafeteria and I took my seat next to her. Edward sat down and still didn't speak a word but looked deep in thought.

Alice grabbed my arm just then to get my attention. "Bella! Look who is walking over here with Emmett!" I looked up to see James approaching with a sadistic smile on his face. Edward heard what Alice had said and looked to see who was walking with Emmett. The second his eyes saw James looking at me I felt his chair inch closer and his arm drape on the back of it. Emmett sat down and James pulled up a chair next to him looking at Edward for the first time and then back at me. Emmett was the one who spoke first.

"Looking good Bella! I almost didn't recognize you. Doesn't she look good James?" I looked over at James who was smiling at me as if I was a piece of meat. He even licked his lips. "You are looking…**very **good Bella." I felt Edward stiffen up at my side.

"Thanks" I murmured. Emmett and James finally got up to go get lunch. I was surprised when Edward didn't follow and stayed rooted to his seat. I looked over at him and noticed his jaw was clenched and hands were in fists. I had never seen this kind of reaction from him before and didn't know how to react. Just then Alice made matters worse.

"Bella! He said you looked **very **good! I wonder when he will ask you out." Edward grunted at my side and I turned my eyes to him.

"Like Bella would ever go out with him", he said sarcastically.

"Why not? She likes him and its pretty obvious that he likes her too." Alice defended. I would have to tell her that I didn't like James soon, because she wasn't helping me out in the Edward department at all.

This made Edward laugh fool heartedly. "I seriously doubt that and I'm pretty sure that I would know before you would know Alice." I wanted to let him know that I didn't like James that way but his cocky attitude and words made my emotions boil over. Alice looked hurt too because she knew that Edward was right but that was a sore spot for her.

"How would you know if I liked him or not, that's not an area that we talk about remember!" I growled at him.

He seemed shocked by my words and then his eyes narrowed at me. "Because we tell each other everything. I would think you would have mentioned it to me it you did have feelings for the guy."

"Well we certainly **use** to tell each other everything, but it has been made obvious recently that there are some things we don't share."

He face looked angry and he sneered at me. "Oh is that how it is now then?"

I looked away from him afraid that my sudden emotions and his anger towards me would make my traitor tears escape. I certainly didn't want it to be like that from now on with Edward. Emmett returned then with his food and without James. He seemed to be oblivious to the hostile energy at the table.

"So Bella I'm trying to help you out with James if you can tell, but you don't seem to need any help from what I'm hearing from James." He chuckled. I groaned and put my head in my hands knowing that was just another spark to the fire.

"You too!! You've been trying to set her up with James Woodsland?!" Edward roared.

"He's not that bad of a guy and he asked about Bella a while ago. I thought Bella would have told you." Emmett just ate his food still unaware of everything.

Edward looked over at me with hooded eyes and then stood up. "I guess she just doesn't tell **me** things after all." Then he stormed off and left the cafeteria. I was still shaken by his sudden anger since I had never seen this side of him before. We never fought like this and he never raised his voice to me.

"Whoa what is his problem?" Emmett asked while devouring his food and now aware of the swirling emotions.

The rest of the day was very weary. I just wanted to get out of there. Alice and Angela tried to cheer me up in psychology but I was dreading my last period gym that I had with Edward and James. Hopefully Edward had calmed down by now and would talk to me. I was mad though too. I did not react quite like he did when I found out about Victoria. I was hurt, but he acted enraged. When the final bell rang I grabbed my gym bag from my locker and made my way over to the gym. I realized though that I had forgotten to pack clothes to change into. The second I made it into the locker room I ripped open my gym back and checked to see what I had. Alice had seemed to have packed an outfit for me. I picked out the shirt and pants and held them up. _What the?_ It was tight black workout pants and a light pink cotton tee. The pants were skin tight and the cotton shirt looked too little to fit me. I also knew that we would be going outside for gym today and I would probably freeze in the t-shirt. I shoved it into my locker and bite my lip. _I'm going to kill Alice.._ I walked out into the gym hoping that I could get a sick pass to the nurse so I wouldn't have to change. My gym teacher Mr. Moore was checking over names when I went over to him.

"Ms. Swan why are you not changed?" He said looking up from his clipboard.

"Well Mr. Moore I wanted to talk to you about that, see I'm not feeling.." He cut me off just then.

"Ms. Swan you have used that excuse far to many times to get out of class, now go in there and get changed or I will have to fail you." He was right about me using the nurse excuse. I was terrible at sports and gym class was hell. I had used that excuse almost everyday when we were playing volleyball.

"But sir..."

"No buts, now go get changed."

I looked around the gym and saw Edward sitting with his head down. He looked up at me with an apologetic expression and mouthed the words "I'm sorry". I gave him a reassuring smile knowing I couldn't be mad at him for long. I missed him and didn't want to be in a fight. I got changed into the outfit and looked at myself in mirror. I had never worn pants these tight and the thin cotton tee clung to my curves and rose a little to show a hint of my stomach. I felt like I was really going to be sick just walking out there like this. I peaked around the gym door and saw that they were making there way outside to the practice field behind the school. I took a deep breathe and stepped out into the gym. Everyone was just outside and I walked behind the group hoping to not be seen. It was colder then I had expected and instantly covered my chest with my arms so other people wouldn't see how cold I actually was. So far I was going unnoticed until a vile boy named Mike Newton let out a whistle. Emmett turned around and looked at me then punched Mike hard in the arm. Mike already got the others attention however and soon everyone was looking at me. James had his devilish grin on his face and was staring at me intensely. The only eyes I was searching for however I couldn't find. Just then I turned toward the corner of the field and saw Edward. His jaw line looked tight like it had in lunch and his eyes smoldered into me. He looked frightening but I didn't want to be anywhere else but by him. As I neared him he shifted in his spot away from me slightly.

I was hurt by this, thinking that he was repulsed by me and looked down at my hands.

"Not your usual gym outfit I see?" He said through clenched teeth. Usually I wore baggy sweat pants and an old t-shirt. I felt my eyes tear up. I had had enough of being scrutinized for the day.

"Alice packed it for me…". I whispered.

He snorted. "Figures, here you look like your cold, put this on."

I looked at his hands in front of him and he had his sweatshirt in them. I grabbed it without saying anything and put it on. After the sweatshirt was over my head I breathed in his crisp, clean scent and felt instantly comfortable and warm from his left over body heat. I was relishing in his smell when I noticed that he only had a long sleeve shirt on now and I was worried he would be cold. "Are you sure you won't be cold?" He gave me a sober smile and rubbed both my arms to warm me up. "No I'll be fine I just don't want you to freeze."

A boy named Tyler made his way over and looked at us smugly. "Oh come on Cullen your covering up the view for the rest of us."

Edward's hands fisted at his sides and he snarled at Tyler. "Get the hell out of here before I make it so you never view anything again." Tyler backed off right away. We made our way over to the rest of the kids. Emmett and James were captains and had to pick the teams. Emmett picked Edward right away. He stood by me hesitantly before going to stand next to Emmett. We both knew that Emmett would pick me right away when he got the chance because the three of us stuck together during gym. Even though I sucked at physical activity, Emmett or Edward never let me be the last pick of the draw. What we didn't expect was James picking me first to be on his team. Edward's nostrils flared and Emmett looked shocked. I slowly made my way over to his side just as shocked as everyone else.

James breathed down in my ear in a raspy tone. "I didn't know if I wanted you on my team or the other so I could tackle you myself."

My eyes widened and I shivered from fear not the cold. Edward kept his eyes on me the whole time with a curious yet rigid expression. For most of the game I sat on the sideline while the other players got put in. That was fine by me. It was starting to get windy and chilly so I hugged my knees to my chest and continued to watch the game. James seemed to be playing pretty fiercely for a gym game and Edward was just as tough. James played determined and fearless when he got the ball and many of the other boys backed off when he plowed through. The only two players on the other team that went after him were Edward and Emmett. Edward and James showed the most aggression towards each other the whole game and it looked more like a competition between the two than the teams. I looked at my watch and saw that the there was only ten minutes left in class. Emmett's team had the ball and there was a long pass to the right where James was blocking Edward. Edward got around him and caught the ball and took off. When Edward starts to run there is no one who can catch him. I've known that ever since we were little but he would let me win in a race regardless. He was one of the fastest people I had ever seen. Sure enough James wasn't fast enough for him and Edward scored a touchdown. His face was beaming and he looked over at me to see if I was watching. I gave him a thumbs up and he flashed me his crooked grin. James looked like his face was on fire. He was snapping at his other teammates for not helping him out and then turned in my direction with a dangerous look on his face. He pointed his index finger at me and bent it to beckon me over. I stood up slowly and made my way to him.

"Bella I'm going to put you in alright?" This caught me off guard and I fumbled for an excuse to get out of it.

"But we are losing, I don't think it's a good idea."

"No don't worry just run down the center and I'll pass you the ball."

There was not way of getting around it and the coach blew the whistle. Edward looked at me cautiously, probably as surprised as I was that James put me in. When the ball was served I ran down the center with Edward at my side covering me. He stayed close by me almost like a safety net to catch me if I were to trip. When I ran far enough I turned around to see James looking for open people. I doubted he would throw it to me since Edward was right there but then his eyes flicked toward mine and he gave me a nod. O_hh no, please don't throw it to me.._ The ball went flying into the air and I closed my eyes and put my hands up. I felt something hit my hands and when I opened my eyes I looked down at the football.

Edward whispered in my ear. "You caught it Bella, now run." He wasn't going to tag me after I actually caught a pass for the first time in my life and I started to run. I felt him running a few distances behind me, pretending that he couldn't keep up. I suddenly saw one of his teammates Ryan by my side reach out about to tag me when Edward sped up and shoved him out of the way.

"Cullen! What the hell I'm on your team!" He shouted angrily behind me. I finally made it to the end zone without tripping over or falling on my face. Edward was there with a big smile from ear to ear and I jumped up into his arms. "I scored a touchdown can you believe it!" He spun me around and then put me down.

"You were great!" He was still holding me in his arms and I looked up at him. I looked into the depth of his eyes and he started to lean his head down towards me. My heart felt like it was going to leap out of my chest as his face got closer and closer while never breaking eye contact. His forehead was wrinkled in nervous anticipation. Was he going to kiss me? Just then the coach blew the whistle and Edward dropped his arms around me and stood back. I stood frozen in shock until he picked up the ball and handed it to me. I walked back with Edward to our teams' huddles. He acted like our previous close proximity never occurred.

"So you tackled one of your own players huh?" I playfully nudged him.

Edward shrugged. "He was running at you way too fast ." I shook my head at him for his over protectiveness. Emmett ran over to him just then.

"Edward I don't know if you know this but your not suppose to tackle the players on your team. I think you successfully got Coach Moore off your back now about joining football." They both laughed and I made my way over to James.

Everyone was setting up into their next positions and I handed him the ball before turning to walk off the field. He wasn't looking at me but staring over at Edward.

"Good job Bella. See, I knew I picked you for a reason." Then he slapped my ass as I was walking away. I stopped dead in my tracks but before I could even turn around, Edward had run across and rammed his body into James tackling him to the ground. The coach blew his whistle and Emmett pulled Edward off of James before anything escalated.

"Edward your out of the game, this is touch football and the game wasn't even in play." The coached yelled and made his way over to James who was still on the ground.

"James how you doing?" It took James a second to get up but his ferocious face soon turned calmed as the coach appeared. "Don't worry about me I'm alright, good tackle though Cullen, I didn't know you had it in you." He jokingly sneered.

"You're a good sport James." Coach Moore seemed to have missed the sarcasm in James's words.

Edward's eyes were full of fury and he ripped out of Emmett's grasp and walked towards the school. I looked over at Emmett who just shrugged. When I turned around to run after him, Edward was already gone. After school was over I found Alice in the parking lot in a pissed off mood.

"He left without me!" Alice shouted.

"Don't worry I'll bring you home ok?" She huffed but then sat down in my car.

"So how was James in gym?" She asked suddenly in a better mood.

I made a scornful face remembering the ass slap. "He slapped my ass."

Alice burst out laughing. "What?" She asked through teary eyes of laughter.

I gave her a pointed look. "Its not funny. I scored a touchdown and as I was walking off the field he smacked my ass."

"Oh well that's not a bad thing." Alice said somewhat relaxed.

Now I was even more annoyed. "Not a bad thing? It only degrading and sexual harassment."

"No no no Bella, athletes do that all the time to each other when one of their teammates does well. Its like their way of saying way to go."

"Well he already said good job, he could have left it at that." She thought that was funny and laughed into hysterics again. Soon her laughter had me joining in.

When we got home Edward's car was no where to be seen. I let out a frustrated sigh and made my way into the house. I sat in the kitchen and waited. Ten minutes went by and there was a knock at the door. I ran to it and threw it open to see Edward standing there in all his glory.

"Hey" I replied trying to contain my happiness.

He smiled my favorite smile and walked in with a movie in his hand. "Here I rented this for us to watch, its new but the rental guy said it should be scary."

I went to the kitchen first and got Edward a coke out of the frig before making my way into the living room. He was sitting on the couch instead of on the floor like he usually did. When I sat down next to him he lifted his arm up to put behind the couch in back of me. I saw him wince out of the corner of my eye and turned towards him fast. "Are you hurt?"

"No no its nothing." He said avoiding eye contact.

"Edward Cullen you better tell me right now." I huffed while he smiled at me for my commanding tone.

"Its just my shoulder is a little sore from hitting James with it." I looked at him with wide eyes forgetting for a moment about the tackling incident. He looked at me anxiously with a worried expression.

"Your not mad about that right?"

"No I'm not mad, let me get you ice." He gave me a relieved smile.

I stood up to go get ice out of the kitchen and continued to talk. "Speaking of that though, you really didn't need to do that, I could have handled it."

Edward's voice raised from the living room and I knew he was angry. "Of course I did! He treating you like a piece of meat slapping your ass like that." I came back into the room with the ice.

"Alice said that is how athletes tell each other good job." I teased.

Edwards face furrowed. "Well I sure as hell didn't see him slapping any of the other guys asses after they scored a touchdown. The asshole even had the nerve to stare me dead in the face before he did it." I was about to thank him for protecting my honor but the last comment changed my reply.

"Why would he look **you** in the eye before doing something like that?"

Edward had an expression of uncertainty and looked away before he spoke.

"I don't know…maybe he thought that it would bother me in particular." I slowly lifted up his shirt as he spoke to see his shoulder. The sudden sight of his bare skin and chest left me dumbfounded

"Did it… bother you?" I stammered. Before he could reply though I had a visible view of his black and blue shoulder.

"Oh God Edward! You did a number on yourself. Sit on the floor so I can hold this on you." He did as I said and sat in-between my legs.

"Are you in pain?" I asked as I snaked my fingers with my free hand through his hair.

He leaned back and closed his eyes and then murmured, "Mmm no not anymore." He said it so low that I didn't know if I was suppose to hear it.

We sat and watched the movie while I rang my fingers through his hair and had my legs resting on either side of him. The both of us were so relaxed and comfortable sitting like this but my hormones were starting to get the best of me. I barely paid attention to the movie and just stared down at him. Slowly I removed the ice from his shoulder, longing to touch his bare skin, and placed my hand there. His body tensed at the sudden warmth of my hand, but he didn't turn around to meet my eyes. His hand rose up and he placed it on the top of mine before turning slowly to meet my gaze. "Bella.."

The front door suddenly shot open and Charlie came barreling in with bags in his hands. "Hey Bells can you give me a hand with this?" He turned towards us to see Edward standing next to me with his shirt off.

He looked surprised at us and then laughed. "If it was any other boy but Edward standing in the living room with his shirt off, you would have been in big trouble miss. Why do you have your shirt off?"

Edward fumbled for his shirt and carefully put it on over his bad shoulder. "Well Charlie I busted up my shoulder in gym class and Bella got me some ice for it."

I went over and helped Charlie with the bags of food and Edward followed. "Dad you didn't have to go food shopping, I just went the other day."

"Yea I know, I just picked up a few things that weren't on the list that's all." Edward helped me unpack and then stayed afterward to help me with homework. He left before dinner though, saying he promised Esme he would eat at home tonight. Charlie and I were left alone in our quiet dinner.

"Char.. Dad what did you mean about- if it was any other boy but Edward I would have been in trouble?" I asked while forking around my food on my plate.

Charlie took a swig of his beer and set it down. "Well I know I don't have to worry about stuff "happening" with Edward and you because you guys are like siblings."

I frowned a little and looked down at my plate. "Oh"

I was sick of everyone seeing Edward and I as just best friends. Who was I kidding, Edward probably saw me the same way too. But I couldn't over look the butterflies I got in my stomach every time he looked at me or the tingling sensation I got whenever he touched me. He had such a strong pull on me, it was almost like a magnetic force. I couldn't give up the hope that he would one day see me differently. He had definitely acted differently to me today and I had the sense that something was happening between us. I couldn't fall asleep that night until I heard him come through my window. It felt better knowing he was there with me. I went to sleep that night excited for what tomorrow might bring.


	6. There for you

**Disclaimer: All these characters belong to Stephanie Meyer.**

* * *

Edward and I returned to our normal rhythm of things. My new appearance definitely changed the way people approached me though. It seemed to dwindle down however with Edward's protectiveness over me. James did not come to our lunch table again but if I happened to pass him in the hall or see him from a distance I would meet his stare. It was as if he was always of there off to the side, like he was waiting for something. It was beyond me however what he could be waiting for. Gym class was when Edward especially hovered over me, not that I would complain. He insisted now to be captain in any sport we would play in gym and picked me first over Emmett. I happily sat and watched the game, never getting put in. He knew me better than that and never even asked. The only times I did get put in was when Mr. Moore insisted and then Edward guarded me like I was made of glass. James never did get to tackle me. I was in a peaceful bliss. Edward and I had always been close but this new found possessiveness made me feel special to him.

The only thing unfortunate was that we did not have any more close encounters. When we were alone it was just the same old Bella and Edward like it has always been, cracking jokes and teasing each other. Once in a while though I would catch Edward staring at me with dark eyes and an emotion I couldn't read. Sometimes for a split second I would think he was looking at me with the same type of longing that I had when I looked at him. After I would catch him, he would look away slightly embarrassed and mumble something to change the subject.

I did feel bad that I hadn't been spending that much time with Alice and made a mental note to hangout with her soon. Victoria was never brought up into conversation with Edward but I didn't know what went on in the classes they had together. I couldn't bare to picture them talking and flirting all period long. I never saw the two of them together in school though so I assumed that what ever was between them had fizzled out or I had blown out of proportion.

Now it was one Friday afternoon and Edward and I were lying on my floor with our books scattered about. Midterms were next week so we were studying together and eating different junk food to keep up fueled. Charlie would probably kill me if he saw all the food that was out and around us-- from m&ms , ring dings, peanut butter, chocolate syrup, pretzels, and ice cream.

"Bella, toss me some m&ms please" Edward said while flipping through passages in his text book.

I didn't know how he kept up with all of his studying and school work and still had time to hang out with me, but somehow he managed. He never had to really study hard like I did. He usually just reads over the information again. Once it was explained to him, he remembers it. I was studying for my biology exam when my eyes peeked a glance at him from over my book and saw him reading. His hair was tousled and he had his cute little crease in-between his eyebrows as he concentrated on the material. My body melted at how adorable he looked. I threw one m&m at him playfully when he wasn't looking and then looked down at my book quickly. I suppressed my laughter as he looked around at what hit him before returning to his book. I threw a second one at him and this time I wasn't quick enough to turn away and he caught me.

He gave me a big smirk. "Oh you're going to get it."

I stood up quickly when he shot up to come after me. He looked down at the chocolate syrup bottle and picked it up before turning to me with a mischievous look in his eye.

"Don't. You. Dare!" I shot him a warning glance but he ran towards me. I screamed and ran up the stairs to my room to get away from him. He was too fast for me though and before I could close the door to lock him out he was in the room walking towards me menacingly. I started to back up until I ran into the corner of my room.

"Edward Masen Cullen I swear to God if you even think about-" I was cut off with a stream of chocolate syrup hitting the front of my shirt. I gasped and looked down at my one of my green shirts that Alice had bought me covered in chocolate sauce. I glared back at him and his eye brows rose, knowing that I would counterattack. He turned to retreat but I hooked my leg with his and we both tumbled forward, with me landing on top of him. He took the bottle and put it over my head and squeezed. Chocolate sauce started to drip down my head onto my face. He shook with laughter at my livid expression.

"Oh you think that's funny huh?" I lowered my face to him and started to rub my chocolate covered face over his. He laughed even more trying to move his face away to avoid my chocolate onslaught. Just as I was moving my head to the right and he was moving his to the left, our lips grazed each other. The sudden jolt I experienced when our lips touched made me snap my head up to look him. I wondered if he noticed it too. I was met with his piercing gaze. I took in my surroundings finally and realized I was straddling him with his hands on my hips. He was still looking at me intensely as if waiting for me to respond. I suddenly became nervous.

"Sorry" was all that came out. He looked back at me as if trying to assess something and then sat up with me in his lap. I thought I saw disappointment line his face but he quickly looked away. "Its ok" he mumbled before sliding me off to sit next to him. He turned his body away slowly and I noticed his cheeks were flushed. I hoped that I didn't embarrass him. I quickly tried to break the awkwardness.

"Alice is going to kill us when she sees my shirt."

He laughed and stood up while offering me a hand to pull me up too. "Its only a little chocolate syrup, it should come right out."

I looked at him with a wide mouth. "Are you kidding! I'm a mess. Maybe if I get it in the wash right now."

He shrugged and then started to pull his chocolate covered shirt over his head. It must have been ruined when my shirt collided with his. "Let's throw these two in the wash now then."

I gulped when he stood before me shirtless in nothing but jeans. He was so carefree about being shirtless in front of me but he had every right to be. I looked at his chest before descending down to his toned and cut stomach. I loved his body. He was tall and lean but wasn't bulky like some girls preferred. The V lines from his hip bones taunted me to keep looking but I knew I had to break my stare before he noticed.

I knew that I had to get my shirt in the wash quickly too if I didn't want it to get ruined. I was hesitant at first, but Edward had just taken his shirt off willingly and I didn't want to act shy and timid like I usually do.

I slowly lifted my shirt over my head. I had on a pink bra but I figured that Edward had seen me in a bikini before and this was pretty much the same thing. After I pulled it off I looked up to see Edward staring at me with a heated look and tense jaw.

"What?" I asked embarrassed.

"Nothing" he replied before looking away.

We headed down stairs and threw our shirts in the washer before turning to each other again. He still had chocolate on his face I knew that my face probably looked worse since he had squeezed half the bottle on my head. "I think I'm going to jump in the shower and get this chocolate out of my hair and pores."

Edward gave me a meaningful look before stepping forward and letting his thumb brush over my chocolate covered cheek. He brought the thumb to his lips and lightly graze it over his bottom lip before licking it there. I shivered at the sight of it and bit my lip.

He then looked concerned. "Yeah that's a good idea you're probably freezing too." He had obviously interpreted my shiver the wrong way. "I'm going to go to my house and shower. I'll see you in fifteen minutes."

It took everything I had not to blurt out that we could shower together. That would have been embarrassing. I even started to come up with excuses about how to get him to join me.-_Well you know two showers is a waste of water..._

I just stammered "O-Okay."

In the shower I scrubbed all the chocolate out of my pores and washed my hair twice. I didn't really care about my shirt being ruined because the event that caused it was definitely worth it. I toweled off and changed into nice comfy sweats and one of Edward's sweat shirts before going down stairs. He was already in my living room cleaning up the mess of food when I walked down. His hair was still damp and disheveled and he ran a hand through it to try to tame his locks. It just made him look even better. We finished cleaning up the living room before Charlie came home and sat down at the kitchen table.

"So I think I'm going to hang out with Alice tomorrow. I feel bad that I haven't really hung out with her since that one weekend in November."

He raised his eye brows. "Oh alright. Emmett's been talking about going ice fishing forever now so I guess I could go with him tomorrow then. But don't forget that Esme wants you over for dinner tomorrow night."

"Of course. Charlie's working tomorrow night anyway so I don't have to make dinner here."

He nodded and fiddled with his empty soda can.

"Edward…what do you want to do this Sunday." He stopped fiddling abruptly and his body tensed. This Sunday was the anniversary of his parents death. I'll never forget the date because I know how much it affects him, even though he doesn't talk about it. On this day each year Edward shuts himself out from everyone….everyone except me that is.

"I don't know, lets just stay in…..you don't have any plans or anything right?" He looked up at me wearily.

"Of course not, I'm going to spend the whole day with you." I gave him a heartfelt smile and he managed to give me one in return even with the dreary subject at hand.

His mood seemed to pick up again shortly after. Charlie, him, and I ate pizza together before we went back to studying. I knew that it was a good idea to get as much studying done Friday and Saturday because Edward probably wouldn't be able to concentrate on school work on Sunday. I wanted to be there for him as well and didn't want to have to worry about studying.

The next morning I woke up around 9am and studied right away. I felt pretty confident with all the material but wanted to make sure it was fresh in my mind. Around 2pm I went over the Cullen's to hang out with Alice. Alice told me that Edward and Emmett were up early to go ice fishing and had been gone all day. We went up in her room so she could show me some new outfits that she had just bought. I acted interested for her and she seemed to believe my enthusiasm. I was flipping through a magazine on her bed when she brought up a subject I wasn't too fond of.

"So Bella you know what next Saturday is right?" Of course I knew it was the yearly Winter Formal. Every year Alice fought with me about going. I hated dressing up and especially didn't like dancing so I never went. Edward and I always stayed in together. He never complained about not going to me.

"Nope Alice what is on Saturday?" I pretended to be clueless.

"The Winter Formal that you're going to this year!" She said enthusiastically.

I laughed and shook my head. "Uh huh."

"Bella its your senior year, you have to go to at least one dance before you graduate."

"Alice every year since freshman year you have been trying to get me to go to these dances and every year I don't go. Then I hear about how I will regret not going for a week until you drop it. But listen, I haven't yet lost any sleep over not going and I don't think that I ever will."

She looked annoyed at me. "But what if James asks you, you would still say no?"

I snorted. "I doubt that he would ask me considering that I haven't spoken to him in weeks and even if he did, dances aren't my thing."

She turned away from me and didn't say another thing but I knew that the subject wasn't closed. Alice would persist till the hour before the dance, she did this every year. Conversation then turned to exams and plans for over Christmas break. Esme called us down for dinner. As I made my way downstairs I peeked into Edward's room to see if he was there, but unfortunately found it vacant. I assumed he didn't come back yet and my shoulders slumped. I felt a tap on my left shoulder and turned around. Edward quickly picked me up and hoisted me over his shoulder before I could even meet his eyes. He started to carry me down the stairs.

I couldn't contain my happiness from seeing him and giggled. "Edward I am perfectly capable of walking myself down the stairs." I really didn't mind him carrying me but said it to show I had some integrity.

"Believe me Bella, you are the only person I could argue with about that." I knew he was referring to the time I had missed a step coming down the Cullen's stairs when I was eleven causing me to fracture my arm.

"That happened a long time ago mister!" I huffed now slightly annoyed he brought that up. He chuckled at me and finally set me down at the dinner table next to him. He had a wide grin on his face and I couldn't help but smile back. Smiles like made me forget what I was annoyed about in the first place. He sat down next to me and everyone joined the table. Carlisle was even home from the hospital. Esme and Carlisle were on the ends of the table while Edward and I sat by each other across from Alice and Emmett.

Emmett mostly spoke the whole time about fishing with Edward. He seemed to be in good spirits about spending the day with Edward. Edward was smiling and nodding along to Emmett's story. I loved sitting with the family and eating dinner with them, I felt so welcome and comfortable there.

Esme was looking at me happily and then spoke up. "So Bella, Alice was telling me about a certain male admirer you have at school." Edward seemed to be suddenly eating his food slower and grasped his fork tightly. I shot Alice a glare and she giggled. I blushed deeply and looked down.

"Oh Bella there is nothing to be embarrassed about, James Woodsland is a hottie." Esme said. Emmett almost chocked on his food when the sentence came out of his mom's mouth. Everyone started to laugh at Emmett's reaction. I knew she was just trying to talk teenage lingo and started to laugh with everyone. The only one who didn't seem to be laughing was Edward.

"Mom please don't ever repeat anything like that again." Emmett finally managed to say. Esme just laughed at her son's reaction. "Why? I am just saying that I am happy for Bella if she has found a nice boy. Are you going to the Winter Dance with him Bella?" Before I could even speak up Edward spoke for me.

"Bella never goes to the dances Esme remember?" He said in a cold voice and then he looked at me to back up his statement.

"Yeah he's right I don't really go to dances."

Carlisle was watching Edward and seemed to sense some kind of discomfort and changed the subject away from me. "Em did you ask that nice Jessica girl who always goes to your games." Emmett seemed to blush and looked down. "Yeah Dad, I'm going with her." The atmosphere then changed and everyone started to tease Emmett about Jessica. Edward seemed to lighten up once again and the rest of the dinner was uneventful.

* * *

The next morning when I woke up Edward was already in my room sitting down and looking out the window. At first I was shocked to see him so early but then I realized what day it was.

"Good morning."

He looked at me and gave me a small smile before turning back to the window. I knew he wasn't going to be himself today but I would do whatever he needed. I got up from bed walked over to him. I leaned against his back, putting my arms around his neck, and resting my head on his shoulder. We stayed like that wordlessly for what felt like forever looking out the window. I just wanted him to know I was there for him. It was a comfort to me to have him near and I hoped it was the same for him. Finally my stomach growled and I pulled my arms away.

"Did you eat yet?" I asked when Edward turned around after I let go. He just shook his head at me. His sad eyes reflected that of the young boy I had first met twelve years ago. I grabbed his hand and pulled him down stairs. I made him his favorite breakfast-scrambled eggs and cheese, bacon, and toast. We both ate in comfortable silence. He ate everything on his plate and thanked me afterwards though. I ran upstairs and got changed and brush my teeth. When I came back down I found him sitting on the couch flipping through the channels. I made my way over to the couch and sat next to him.

"Is there anything you want to do day?" I said while patting his hand.

He shook his head and then turned to me, his eyes holding mine. "I just… want to hang out with you."

My heart clenched at hearing him say this but I knew that he just needed the company. He laid down on the couch with his head in my lap so I could run my fingers through his hair. Charlie came in and out during the day but mostly stayed away. I reminded him last night before I went to sleep what today was and he knew Edward needed his space. We spent most of the day on the couch watching whatever came on. Edward didn't do much talking but he did manage to fall asleep for a while. As I was staring down and admiring him, there was a knock at the door.

I carefully lifted his head from my lap and got up to answer it. Esme was there with plates of food in her hands.

"Hey Esme" I whispered.

"Hey Bella. I brought over some dinner for you guys and a few other things to eat." She gave me a sad smile. I knew that she was always concerned about Edward on this day but he never opened up to her or Carlisle about it and just avoided everyone in general. She considered him like her own biological son.

"Thanks, I'm sure he will be hungry when he wakes up." I took the plates from her and she gave me a hug.

"Thank you Bella…. for being there for him."

"Its nothing Esme, he's always there for me too."

After she left I put the food in the kitchen and heard my name being called. "Bella?!"

"I'm in the kitchen Edward!" I called back. He walked in rubbing his eyes and sat down.

"How long was I out for?"

"Two hours probably." I shrugged. "Do you want some food? Esme brought over some stuff."

He nodded and I heated up his plate. I kept quiet leaving him to think and be a peace. I knew that he didn't like to talk on this day. He finally spoke though. "So how was your day with Alice yesterday?"

"It was good we just hung out and I listened to Alice most of the time." I actually got a light laugh out of him because he knew what I meant about Alice talking. Once the girl got going she could talk your ear off. Edward had always been more of the silent type but when he was comfortable he could open up and be himself. I was one of the lucky people who got to know that side of him. I told him more about the different things that Alice talked about and he just sat contently listening to me. He stayed until late that night before going home. Edward was back in my room however the second he left and I had his bed on my floor all made out for him. When he was settled I turned off the lights and laid down in my bed to go to sleep. Just as I felt myself slipping into unconsciousness I heard his voice.

"Bella?"

"Yes Edward?" I mumbled, half awake.

"Thank you" He replied before I fell asleep.

* * *

Monday and Tuesday of school went very smoothly. Our exams were incorporated into our normal school day but the classes that you didn't have exams in were study periods. I felt confident with the first four that I had taken and only had two left to take in the morning on Wednesday. Whenever I saw Alice she hounded me about the dance but I zoned her out thinking about different things Edward and I could do that night. Last year we went to the movies for the whole night, paying for one and then sneaking into three others. That was always a possibility but I did want to do something different.

I was coming out of the bathroom before my last period class when I saw Alice walking down the hall. I ran back into the bathroom to avoid her so I wouldn't have to be nagged about the dance for the hundredth time again. I hid in a stall when I heard the door open thinking it was Alice looking for me. A laugh sounded however and I immediately recognized the voice of a girl named Lauren who I wasn't too fond of. I cracked the stall door open a little and saw that it was her and Victoria applying lip gloss in the mirror.

"Soo Vick who are you going to Winter Formal with?" Lauren asked.

"Edward Cullen and I are going of course." She seemed offended that Lauren wouldn't know. My chest constricted immediately at her words. I already felt the tears starting to collect in my eyes.

"Sorry it's just that he is always around that Bella Swan girl." Lauren defended.

"That's only because he feels bad for her. It's obvious she doesn't have that many friends. He told me that she is like his little sister anyway. I feel bad for her too. Do you see the way she follows him around like a sad little puppy." They girls both laughed together. My hot tears spilled over onto my cheeks now. I didn't want them to know I was there though so I kept quiet.

Then Lauren added. "Still, aren't you a little worried? I mean she definitely looks different then she did in the beginning of the school year, I almost didn't recognize her."

Victoria snickered. "Please just because she wears nice clothes now and got a hair cut doesn't make her beautiful." They finished the admiration of themselves in the mirror and then left. My tears now were sliding down my face at a fast rate. I could care less with what they thought of me, it was the fact though that still after everything I wasn't good enough for him. He didn't even have the decently to tell me that he was going to the dance. Every year we stayed in together, it was almost like a tradition, and now I would be sitting at home by myself while she danced and kissed the night away with him.

I was pitiful. They might actually be right about me after all. How could I let myself become so obsolete? I had all of these emotions exploding out of me but I couldn't let it overcome me. Ten seconds, I told myself. Tens seconds is the only amount of time I will let this take over and then I had to move on from it. So for ten seconds I let the pain soak in and devour me. I sobbed, not holding back. After ten seconds was over I sniffled the last of my cries and exited the stall. I was done trying to prove myself to him. If I wasn't good enough then I had deal with it, but I couldn't keep getting my hopes up, it just hurt me ten times more. I was in love him, that I was positive, but he wasn't in love me, and I had to face that. Victoria had confirmed that for me when she said-"he told me she is like his little sister". Well if this whole time his possessiveness and protectiveness over me was his brotherly attitude shining through then I didn't need that. To think that I had believed that maybe he wanted me like I wanted him made me feel dumb. I looked at myself in the mirror before going out. My eyes were red but I straighten myself together. I wouldn't be a sad little puppy following him around anymore. I headed out of the bathroom angry but determined. The self pity before had somehow manifested itself into anger and I strode to the gym. I turned the corner and came face to face with a pleased looking James standing by the locker room door. I didn't want to be bothered with anyone but he was blocking my entrance.

"Hello Bella" He greeted shrewdly.

"Hello James and what do I owe this pleasure?" I said sarcastically threw my anger.

His eyebrows raised and he seemed amused. "I was wondering if you would be kind enough to escort me to the Winter Formal." I hadn't talked to the kid in weeks and yet here he was asking be to the dance. I was about to tell him off when an idea clicked in my head. Screw it! I'll go to the dance with him. I didn't even care anymore and I didn't want to be that sad girl sitting at home all alone on the night of the dance.

"Yes I'll go."

He looked at me smugly. "Excellent, we will have a good time." I ignored the creeps that he gave me and produced a small fake smile before stepping around him to go through the door.

Luckily everyone didn't have to change this week because of midterms so I just walked into the gym and took a seat on the bleachers. Edward and Emmett were sitting on the opposite end and looked at me confused that I blatantly ignored them. James walked in seconds after I sat down and Edward got up and came to my side. That pissed me off even more because I remembered his brotherly attitude so I kept my head straight avoiding his eyes.

"Is something wrong?" He asked.

"Nope. Everything is just peachy." I spat. I decided that I wouldn't tell him that I was going to the dance with James. Two can play at that game. I know he would find out soon since James was talking to Emmett, but he wouldn't hear it from me. I didn't talk to him the whole period but he never left my side. I could feel his questioning eyes on my face but I wouldn't yield and look at him. When school ended I didn't wait to walk with him and hurried to his car to find Alice. I acted normally to her and talked about my day, leaving out the bathroom incident and James of course. I would have to tell her when I was alone with her and ask her if she could help me find a dress.

When we pulled up in front of my house, Alice started to walk to her house and Edward turned towards mine.

"Hey Alice wait up!?" She turned and looked at me confused.

"Aren't you and Edward going to go to your house?"

"No, do you want to hang out? I need to talk to you about something." I replied.

She was still confused but looked curious. "Ok."

I turned now to see Edward standing by my door with his brow furrowed. "Bella, where are you going?"

I turned away and spoke so I wouldn't have to meet his eyes. "I'm going over your house to hang out with Alice." He didn't reply back but I could hear his foot steps behind us. I went straight up into Alice's room and put my book bag on the floor. Alice soon came in and Edward stood by the door.

"Bella?" Edward said reluctantly.

"What?" I hissed without looking up from the text book I was pretending to read from.

"Do you want me to help you study for your calculus exam?"

"Nope, got it covered thanks." I said sarcastically.

"Will you look at me please?" He sounded frustrated.

"Edward, I'm trying to read this so can you just go." I said sounding annoyed.

After a few seconds I heard the sound of his bedroom door slamming shut so I knew it was safe to look up. Alice stared at me astonished. "Care to share what that was all about?"

"I don't know what you're referring to." I responded airily.

She looked miffed and then shook her head. "Whatever. What was it you wanted to talk to me about?"

I sat up then straighter. "Oh right. Ok do not over react please and no screaming!" She was bouncing up and down in anticipation. "I need you to help me find a dress for winter formal."

Alice's face drew in a breath as if she was going to scream but covered her mouth quickly with her hand. When he face started to turn blue I stepped in. "Ok Alice breathe." She took a deep breath and then tackled me. "Finally! Thank you Bella!" I laughed and shook her off.

"Who asked you? Or did you ask them? What made you say yes? Does Edward know?" The questions poured out of her mouth faster than I could answer them.

"James asked me. I thought it was time to go to a dance for once in my life. And no." She lined my answers to her questions up in her mind and then beamed.

"Well I'm happy for you! I can't believe that you told me before Edward." She looked a little teary eyed.

"Listen, do you think we can go shopping for dresses tomorrow. I know I don't have much time left." She waved a hand in front of me dismissively.

"I already bought you a dress."

"What!? But you didn't even know I was going to go." I said astounded.

"I just had a feeling that this year somehow you would go and I saw a dress that was beautiful and your size…so I bought it for you. You'll love it too, its your taste."

"Wow Alice thanks I guess, I'll pay you back. Can I see it?"

"No it's my treat." Just as she was opening her closet I heard the streams of piano notes playing from Edward's room. The sound was intense and fast. Alice turned to look at me. "He's definitely frustrated about something." I nodded in agreement.

_I remembered when we were eight. I had walked in on Edward sitting at the piano gently running his fingers on the keys. He stopped when I approached and I sat down next to him_

_."Do you play?" I asked. He looked down at the keys. "I use to..." _

"_Well why did you stop?" He finally met my eyes. "My father was teaching me..." _

"_Oh I'm sorry." We sat in silence until I spoke again. "Did you enjoy playing?" He nodded his head. "Well I think you should keep playing then." He looked up at me with sad eyes. "Really?" _

"_Yes definitely" I replied. It was one of the few times he mentioned his parents to me and from that day on he began to play piano again. To say he was good was an understatement, but he had told me he just liked to play in his leisurely time and to reduce stress. It became easy to pick up on what kind of mood he was in when you walked into the house and heard the music notes from his room. The rest of the house was just as keen on it as I was. If he knew I was coming over I was often greeted to a familiar soft tune that he had written himself. He had told me it was my own soundtrack._

When Alice pulled out the dress, I gasped. She was right, I did love it. Suddenly the sound of the front door downstairs slammed open and there was loud pounding on the steps. Alice and I both looked at each other and said simultaneously-"Emmett".

We went back to talking about the dance and Alice's ideas for my hair. She showed me her dress and told me she was going with Emmett's friend Derek from the football team. Esme called Alice downstairs later on and left me alone in her room. I noticed that the piano music had stopped. I started to get antsy when Alice was taking a while to return and I decided to go downstairs to see Esme. Just as I was passing Edward's door it flung open. An arm came out and grabbed me, pulling me inside before slamming shut again.

* * *

**A/N:**

**Hope you liked it. Please review!**


	7. The Battle

**Disclaimer: All these characters belong to Stephanie Meyer.**

* * *

It happened so fast that it caught me off guard. I flew into his room and turned to face him. "What on earth-"I was shocked when I looked up to meet Edward's cold eyes and expressionless face standing in front of his door.

"Is there something you would like to tell me?" He sounded just as coldly as he looked.

So he knew I was going to the dance with James, I figured. Well I wasn't going to be nice to him about this one. "Nope, I can't recall anything."

He let out a dark laugh. "There must be some kind of misunderstanding then because Emmett somehow believed that you were going to the Winter Formal this Saturday with James Woodsland. Funny right?" His eyes were blazing into mine.

I felt my blood rising and the anger taking over. I folded my arms over my chest. "Why is that funny?"

His eyes widened and then narrowed dangerously. "It's funny because the Bella Swan I know despises dances and has gone to one or wanted to go to one. I would know because I stayed home with her every single dance!"

Now I could feel my anger shooting out of my ears. I could picture him staying with me because of his pity for me, just like Victoria had said. "Well I guess its lucky day then Edward that you don't have to stay home this year with sad Bella Swan!" I shouted.

"What is that suppose to me?" He spat back.

"You tell me…. I'm done talking." I moved to open the door but his hand slammed it shut again.

"No you're not. So it's true then huh?" He looked down at me viciously now with our bodies at such close proximity to each other.

"Why do you care?" I hissed back.

He looked at me still with intensity in his eyes and didn't say anything. I turned to open the door again when he spoke abruptly. "I don't want you to go to the dance with him."

"Why?" I yelled frustrated.

He stared at me angrily. "Because I don't like him that's why!"

I was so sick of his brotherly attitude and his perverse answers. "Well that's not a good enough reason!"

"Like hell it is. I don't like him. I don't like the way he talks to you, I don't like the way he looks at you, and I don't like him near you."

Edward looked like he was rippling with anger. I didn't know what to say. Why couldn't he just tell me the one thing I wanted to hear- _that he didn't want me going with James because he wanted me._ Not the want of a friend but of something more. I didn't think I could take too much more of this. The frustration started to take its toll on me and I was sure that my eyes gave away the sadness that I felt. Edward's eyes slowly softened as he looked at me and then his voice lowered. "He's not good enough for you…"

I snapped out of my contemplation. I felt the tears starting to collect in my eyes. Edward thought James wasn't good enough for me…but I wasn't good enough for Edward. "Well then James and I have more in common then I thought." I answered back sarcastically.

He looked at me confused and then became rigid again. "So my opinion doesn't matter then?"

"You just have fun at the dance with your date Edward and I'll have fun with mine."

"What are you talking about?" He looked aggravated now.

"Oh that's great you get mad at me for not telling you about James when you do the same exact thing. Well then you're a hypocrite because I know."

"You seem to not know anything." He fumed. With his last comment I was done. I couldn't take him insulting me and lying to me all at once.

I turned and let his room. I stormed down the steps, thankfully not losing my balance or tripping. Luckily no one was in the living room as I went out the door and hurried to get to my house. Just as I was walking down the curb, Edward called out from behind me.

"Oh Bella?" He said in a sing song voice, the opposite of his cold demeanor just minutes ago. "It might not matter to you what I think of James but it will certainly matter what Charlie thinks….I might just have to fill him in a little bit about James ."

I whipped my head around and stared furiously at him. "You wouldn't dare." I knew that Charlie would never approve of me going out with someone he didn't think was worthy. I also knew that Charlie took Edward's opinion seriously, especially when it came to my safety or so called "best interest".

He stared back at me with a venomous smile. I glanced back at my house to see if Charlie was home yet and sure enough his patrol car was in the driveway. Just before I turned to look back at Edward, he flew past me, running straight for my house. I felt like an idiot running after him because it was pointless trying to catch up to him. I knew he would get to Charlie before I could. Sure enough when I ran into the kitchen out of breath and panting, Edward was already sitting down talking to Charlie at the table, as if he didn't just sprint as fast as he could. He didn't even look like he broke a sweat. He looked up at me and gave me a taunting smile letting me know that he had arrived to Charlie first. I was now more determined to go to this dance just because I knew Edward didn't want me too. I knew how stubborn he was to get his way but I was just as stubborn.

"Dad now before you say no, just because Edward doesn't like the kid doesn't mean what ever he says goes. I am your daughter and I think that you should hear what I have to say before anything else." Charlie looked up at me from his beer.

"Bella, what is it exactly that you think I am going to say no to?" He answered me completely baffled.

I looked at him confused. "Well wasn't Edward telling you about James?"

"No Edward and I were just talking about the Seahawks. Who is James by the way?"

I looked over at Edward who was smirking cold heartily at me. He was a little trickster. He knew that I would run in here thinking that he had blabbed everything about James to Charlie, but in reality he had just let me be the one to do it. I grounded my teeth in anger and then looked back at Charlie who was waiting for a response.

"James is a boy at school who asked me to the Winter Formal this Saturday, and I was kind of hoping to go."

Charlie seemed to be thinking something over in his head. "A dance huh? You must really like this boy if he talked you into going to a dance." I could see Edward sneering out of the corner of my eye. Charlie was completely wrong but I would keep my mouth shut to help my cause. "What's his name again?"

"James, James Woodsland." Charlie's eyes widened recognizing the name. "Oh yeah I know that kid. He's that good football player isn't he?" I just nodded my head and Charlie turned towards Edward. "So Eddie boy why is it that you don't like this kid?"

Edward took his opportunity now to voice his opinion. "I have a bad feeling about him Charlie and he is definitely not good enough for her." I glared at him the whole time and Charlie seemed to take in what Edward was saying. Edward threw me a smile just to piss me off.

"Thanks son I know that you have Bella's best interest at heart.-"

"But-." I interrupted. Charlie held a hand up to let him finished. "That being said, Bella you're eighteen years old, I think you can make your own decision now about going to a dance."

My eyes widened and a smile broke on my face. "Thanks Dad!" I looked over at Edward cockily now and he looked furious as his hands clamped down on the table.

I turned to leave when I heard Charlie's voice. "One condition though."

I stop and turned around waiting for him to reply. "I want to meet this boy before the dance. You said it's this Saturday? Then invite him over this Friday night for dinner." My face was horror stuck and I didn't know what to say. Have James over for dinner? That was the last thing I wanted to do. I didn't think that it would make a difference though about the dance situation. My dad was probably just curious about James I reassured myself, especially after Edward's comments about not trusting him. Edward got up and walked past me looking smugly. I turned and started to follow him into the living room where he sat down on the couch putting his hands behind his hand.

"What are you so happy about? I going to the dance with James remember?"

He looked at me with wicked smile. "Well we will see about that after Friday night. I'm sure Charlie will get a good idea about what James is really like." I didn't even want to talk to him anymore. He had thought he won the battle and that Charlie wouldn't let me go to the dance after meeting James. Little did he know that the battle was far from done.

I was still in a bitter mood but had to go over the Cullen's house and get my stuff. When I stormed back into Alice's room she was studying on her bed.

"I was wondering where you went off too. Why are you so angry?"

"Because of your stupid overbearing brother that's why."

She laughed at this. "Ha which one?"

"Edward of course. He's driving me insane." I scowled.

"How so?"

"He doesn't want me going to the dance with James Woodsland and he is trying to convince Charlie not to let me go." She seemed shocked and I went on to tell her about my conversation that had just happened in my kitchen.

She was enveloped in the story and when I was done she looked like she was contemplating something.

"Alice please tell me what you are thinking?" I asked frustrated after a minute of silence.

She looked up at me and then grinned. "I'm thinking that Edward is jealous."

This floored me. "Why would he be jealous?"

"Well let's face it, he spends all of his time with you and he has never had to compete with anyone for it. Maybe he thinks that if things with you and James were to progress, his friendship with you would be put on the back burner."

"That's crazy, he knows that I would never do that."

She shrugged. "I don't know it's just a theory. Anyway, I'm on you're side with this one. If Edward thinks that James is going to blow it in front of your Dad then you know what you need to do right?"

"No what?"

"Help him out. When he comes over for dinner talk him up. Laugh when he tells a joke even if it's not that funny. Look at him admirably through out the night. If your Dad thinks you're smitten then I'm sure Charlie will see that James has made quite an impression on you and whatever Edward said will be pushed to the side."

I didn't give Alice enough credit I realized. "Thanks Alice I'll try it out."

"And besides, you like the guy right so it shouldn't be too hard." I would definitely have to fill her in about that after the dance. For now on I knew that I could go to Alice with things, I trusted her and she really was a good friend.

"Yea should be a piece of cake." I lied. I would try my best though.

Edward didn't come threw my window until late that night. I think he knew I was still mad so was keeping a safe distance. I still couldn't fall asleep though without knowing that he was there. The next morning he still had a smug grin on his face when I got into the car but I didn't speak to him. Alice seemed to enjoy the silent battle between us especially since she saw how positive Edward was thinking that he had won but knowing I wasn't going to throw my towel in the ring.

When lunch period finally came I knew that I had to talk to James about coming over for dinner and I should do it soon. Edward and Emmett had gone up to get lunch and I was left sitting at the table with Alice picking at my lunch I brought from home.

"So did you take to James yet?"

"No not yet." I said without looking up.

"Well look he is over there paying for his food. Now is the perfect time." I looked up to see James walking with his food. He looked at me and smiled. I let out a defeated sign knowing what I had to do. I smiled back a fake warm smile and waved for him to come over by me. He seemed surprised but pleased and walked towards me right away.

"Hello Bella. Is this seat taken?" He was pointing at Edward's chair and before I could reply a cold voice sounded. "Actually it is." Edward pulled the seat back and sat down.

James seemed to snicker. "That's fine I'll just sit in this one." He took the chair across from me next to Emmett who had just returned with his food. Alice nudged me to talk.

"So James, I was wondering if you would like to come over to my house for dinner Friday night, my Dad kind of wants to meet you."

He seemed to be intrigued. "Of course, what time should I come?"

"Um I guess around 6 o'clock would be good."

"Excellent, I look forward to it." Edward was biting the side of his mouth and his eyes were a blaze. There was an uneasy silence.

"So Edward I hear that you and Victoria are going together, good for you." James added before looking down at his food with a sly smile on his face.

Edward gave him a death stare but before he could answer Emmett spoke up. "You didn't tell me that man! Nice, Victoria's pretty hot."

He still looked pissed and then turned to me to look at my reaction. I just met his eyes with an expressionless face.

"Well it was a last resort sort of thing, all the good dates seemed to be taken." He said this without breaking his stare. I felt like it was somehow directed to me but knew better then to read too much into it because I knew that he was going with Victoria before James had asked me, I heard her say it. He was probably just trying to get on my good side. My eyes left his when I heard James cut in.

"Well next time you should be faster then. I was fast enough to not let Bella get away."

Edward's eyes narrowed. "Oh believe me, I won't be unprepared next time." They glared at each other.

The rest of lunch period was pretty quiet and strange. Edward seemed to be aggravated about something and for the most part we avoided each other. I hung out with Alice after school and she seemed to be enjoying herself by giving me tips about tomorrow nights dinner. She wanted me to go to this dance badly and wasn't going to let anything get in the way. I started to regret my decision to go. I had agreed to go out of anger after learning about Edward going with Victoria. I was still mad but I started to realize what going to the dance would entitle. For one thing, it definitely encouraged James. By saying yes to him it would seem that I was interested which was definitely not the case. I dreaded that I would have to be close to him or have him touch me. Hopefully I could only dance with him a few dances so I didn't seem rude and then stay by Alice the rest of the night. Another fact that I didn't want to think about was that I would have to see Edward with her all night. The thought of them dancing and touching made my insides turn. Just hearing about them going had done a number on me and now I would have to see it with my own eyes. I would have to see her in the spot next to him that I so longingly craved to be in. I shook the feeling off knowing that it wouldn't do me any good to wallow about things I couldn't change.

* * *

Friday finally came and Edward and I were still distant. I thought that maybe he had accepted the fact that I would be going to the dance with James. James didn't come to our lunch table again but at the end of school as I was walking to Edward's car I heard him call to me.

"Bella!"

I turned around to look at him. He had a lascivious look in his eyes. "Can't wait for tonight." He then got into his car and drove away. When I turned around Edward was standing behind me with a torrid expression. He met my eyes with a dark look and then stormed off to get into his car without saying a word. Once I got home Alice came over right away but Edward retreated to his house.

"So are you excited?!"

"Not really." I admitted as I entered the house.

"Bella this is pretty big. It's the first time that you have ever had a boy come over for dinner before."

I turned to look back at her as I entered my kitchen. "Alice Edward is over here for dinner almost every other night"

She swatted a hand in the air. "Yeah but that doesn't count, this is like the first time that you are introducing your dad to a boyfriend."

My eyes bulged. "Whoa whoa whoa Alice James is not my boyfriend, not even close. I am just going to the dance with him and this is Charlie's little way of making sure I'm not going with some creep." I filled up a glass of water to get rid of the bad taste in my mouth of thinking of James as a boyfriend.

Alice waggled her eyebrows at me. "Yeah but this is just the first step. First he meets your dad, then you go to formal, then he's your boyfriend, and then… he makes you a woman."

I spit out the water that I was drinking knowing exactly what Alice was implying. "ALICE!! No that is definitely not happening!" The only person who I ever thought about giving myself to that way was Mr. Grumpy next door, and I wasn't ready to admit that to Alice. The last time I had talked to Edward about sex was when we were sixteen. We had both promised that we would tell each other if one of us did it. I knew for a fact that I hadn't and Edward never said that he had but I felt like there was so little I knew about him and Victoria that it could certainly be possible. He had told me about the time Emmett had confided in him about losing his virginity. Emmett had been drunk at a party and lost it to a college girl. I don't think that Emmett regretted it but I know that he wasn't just looking to get laid. Emmett is a sweet heart and I did hope that he would find a nice girl one day that could handle him. Edward had said that his first time wouldn't be like Emmett's first time. That didn't tell me much except for that Edward didn't want to lose it to a one night stand.

"I'm just saying, he could me that guy." Alice said interrupting my thoughts.

I rolled my eyes at her and then started to make dinner. I decided to make chicken with sides of mash potatoes, corn, and stuffing. It was one of Charlie's favorites so it would put him in a happy mood.

Alice helped me out and then insisted on picking out an outfit for me to wear tonight. She left shortly after telling me my outfit was lying on the bed for me when I went to go change.

I looked at the clock and saw that it was 5:45 already. Charlie had come home earlier and was sitting on the couch drinking a beer and watching TV. I still had an apron and my cooking clothes on and ran up stairs to change. The outfit she had picked for me was a hunter green sweater and dark skinny jeans. I changed quickly and then made my way back down stairs. When I entered the kitchen I stopped dead in my tracks. Edward was opening the oven and looking in.

"Mmm Charlie's favorite dinner tonight, good I'm starving." He looked up at me with a crooked grin on his face.

"What are you doing here?" I angrily whispered so Charlie wouldn't hear.

"I came over for dinner. You didn't think that I would miss this did you?" He titled his head playfully.

I huffed and made my way over to him so I was right in his face. "FINE! But no shenanigans!"

He seemed slightly offended. "Believe me, James isn't going to need my help burning himself down, he is capable of that on his own. I just came to watch for enjoyment." He had an excited glint in his eyes.

Before I could answer back at him there was a knock on the door. My eyes widened and Edward seemed to growl, knowing that James was here. I turned and headed to the door, extremely aware that Edward was right behind me. When I opened the door James was there with a predatory look on his face, like he had just spotted his prey. His eyes raked me up and down.

"Hello Bella."

"Hi James, come on in." He stepped in and looked around the house before taking in Edward. I noticed that Charlie had walked up and was standing beside me.

"Oh Cullen I didn't know you would be here, even better!" He was acting as if Edward was a dear old friend, which was strange since they seemed to hate each other but then I realized that he was putting on a show for Charlie. I needed to go a long with it if I intended to win this battle with Edward.

"Dad this is James Woodsland." James stuck his hand out and shook Charlie's hand. "It's very nice to meet you Mr. Swan."

Charlie smiled and nodded. "Good to meet you too. Bells is dinner about ready?"

"Yeah it's all done, we can go eat." We all made our way into the kitchen were the plates were set up. I had put out three plates but looking down at the four on the table I realized that Edward must have done that himself. Charlie sat at the head of the table and I went to the other end while James and Edward sat across from one another. I didn't know exactly what to talk about so told everyone they could dig in.

"So James I understand you play football pretty well, any plans to continue that in college?" Charlie said to strike up conversation.

"Oh yes sir. I'm looking to go play at USC. There was a scout at out last game so I'm waiting to see if I can get a scholarship from them."

Charlie seemed to be pretty impressed. He knew a lot about the different schools that Forks played against and the players. So for the next twenty minutes or so, I just sat there bored stiff as James and my father talked football. This was already going a lot easier then I had thought. I didn't have to help him out at all. Edward was just staring down at his plate, tense and white as a ghost. I think that he released James wasn't coming off quite like he had expected. Suddenly the conversation turned back to me.

"So James I'm quite impressed. No one has ever gotten Bella to go to a school dance before." Charlie said cheerfully.

James looked over at me. "Well sir I'm the one who is impressed that I got a girl like Bella to go with." I almost laughed at his ass kissing, but held my tongue. Edward on the other hand didn't. He let out a snort. James smiled and looked at Edward quickly before looking back at me. "She really is a special girl."

"We know that." Edward stated matter-of-factly. Then he added bluntly. "So what exactly are your intentions with Bella?"

It was complete silence and I didn't know what to say. I tried to think of Alice's tips on what to do, but none of them included what to do when Edward acts out. So I just laughed awkwardly to break the tension and make it seem that Edward was just joking around.

James looked deadly for a second at Edward and then turned to Charlie. "I have only the best intentions for you daughter sir."

"That doesn't really answer my question now does it?" Edward hissed. My eyes shot death rays at Edward to shut up and Charlie coughed.

"Sorry James, Edward is just protective of our Bella here. She means a lot to us." Charlie looked at James apologetically for Edward's outbursts.

"Oh of course I understand," James looked at Edward and stared him directly in the eye. "It's what any brother like figure would do, make sure that their sister's potential suitor is worthy." That hurt to hear him say that and Edward looked like he had taken a low blow too. For that reason I was not sure. He thought of me that way so why would James's words infuriate him. James was making his claim clear though, stating what Edward's position to me was compared to his own. I did get the impression though that he was taunting it in Edward's face.

Charlie seemed to get discomforted and stood up to take his plate to the sink. "Bella that was delicious thanks kiddo." I smiled a gratefully to Charlie.

"Yes Bella thank you for inviting me over, it was perfect." James gave Charlie a firm handshake and I walked him to the door. "It was nice to meet you again sir."

He then turned to Edward. "It was good seeing you again as well Cullen."

Edward scoffed "Sorry I can't seem to say the same." Charlie just looked embarrassed at Edward's behavior and I quickly moved James out the door.

When Charlie was out of sight, James's leer returned.

"Dinner wasn't the only thing delicious looking tonight." He took my hand and kissed me knuckles. I had to fight myself not to cringe. "I'm looking forward to getting to **know **you a lot better Bella." He said with a sickening emphasis on the word know. I tried to give a smile but I was repulsed by the idea of letting James anywhere near "knowing" me better.

"Until then…" he said in a raspy voice. He looked over my shoulder once and sneered and then was gone. I turned around to seem Edward looking on with a rock hard expression. His face was fiery red.

"Bella he seems like a nice kid. I'm calling it an early night so good night you too. Oh and Eddie boy turn it down a notch." Charlie chucked from the living room and headed up stairs to bed.

I knew that it was his seal of approval and I had won. I felt good putting Edward in his place but at the same time I wanted to go over and tell him that I didn't like James either and he gave me the creeps. I agreed with Edward about him. It would make me look bad though saying that and then I would look like an idiot going to the dance with him. As much as I hated to go and see Edward with another girl, in some sick twisted way I had to see it. I needed to know what he was like with her, how many times he would touch her, or whisper to her. I knew everything about Edward but this was one thing that I didn't know, and I needed to know it.

I walked past Edward without saying a word heading to the kitchen. I started to clean the dishes and felt his eyes boring into me.

"So you are going to the dance with him then?" He said darkly behind me.

"It looks that way." He was quiet for a couple minutes and this I felt in next to me. He took one of the dishes from me and started to wash it. We cleaned and dried the dishes together in silence. Just as I was drying the last dish he spoke up.

"Are you going to sleep with him?" He said his in a bitter tone.

I was astounded he would even ask me something like this. "Excuse me?"

He turned now and looked directly at me. "You heard me."

"I'm not going to answer a stupid question like that." I hoped he knew me better then that. I had told him before that I was saving myself for the first person I fell in love. Little did he know that that person was him.

"Answer me." He said firmly.

"No Edward I'm not going to sleep with him!" I snarled at him.

"Good." He said through gritted teeth and a cold pleased look in his eyes. My anger tipped over the edge.

"Edward, this isn't any of you business anyway. I don't have to tell you what I choice to do or choice not to do. And I certainly don't ask you if you and Victoria are romping it in the sheets. You know what, I had enough of you tonight." With that I turned away and walked up to my room leaving him down stairs. My eyes were filling quickly with tears and I let out an agitated groan. I changed quickly and brushed my teeth so I could go to sleep and forget about everything. I felt like Edward and I were breaking apart slowly. We had never fought so much in our lives. I laid in bed then wondering if he would even come to my room tonight. It bothered me to think that he would be angry enough to stay away. I couldn't fall asleep. I just laid in the dark thinking for what felt like forever. When I looked at me clock it read 1:35am. If he wasn't here now, he probably wouldn't come…. My stomach clenched and I felt my eyes water.

But then….the sound of my window opening slowly and footsteps on my floor sent a wave of comfort through me. Minutes later I was asleep.

* * *

**Author's note: **Hope you liked it. Please review.


	8. Winter Formal

**Disclaimer: All these characters belong to Stephanie Meyer.**

* * *

My eyes fluttered opened the next morning. I looked at my clock and saw that it was twelve o'clock in the afternoon. This surprised me because I normally never slept this late. When I bound down the stairs I saw that Alice was sitting at the kitchen table talking to Charlie as he was cleaning his plate at the sink.

"Good Afternoon sleeping beauty." She playfully chided.

I gave her a smirk, still in a sleepy stupor to respond. I made myself some eggs and toast and sat down next to her. She let me eat and didn't start to talk again until I finished my coffee.

"So Charlie filled me in a little bit about how dinner went last night."

I groaned and put my head in my hands remembering last nights dinner.

Alice laughed. "Don't worry about it, my brother is just being an ass, and Charlie seems to like James so that's good right?"

I nodded uneasily to her.

"Alright well I want you to come over to my house to get ready for today. Esme wants to take pictures there and everything. What time did James say he was picking you up?" My eyes widened in surprise when I realized that I didn't talk to James about the driving arrangements.

"I don't know, I didn't talk to him about it."

Alice gave me a disapproving look telling me that it was important that I find this information out. Just then however Charlie came back into the kitchen.

"Oh Bells I forgot to tell you but I'm working the night shift tonight so I wont be here when you get home from the dance." He looked apologetically at me.

"Its ok Dad. I'll be fine." He always got a little worried about leaving me home at night . Little did he know that I really never slept alone in the house. Edward was always with me. Charlie turned to leave and then called over his shoulder. "Oh and James called earlier."

I gulped and looked back at Alice who was grinning at me. I sat there for a minute not really wanting to get up to get the phone. Alice pointed at it and gave me a fierce look telling me to get it over with. I dragged my feet up to it the entire way. When I finally managed to call him, he picked up on the second ring.

"Hello?" The sound of his voice gave me goose bumps and made me instantly nervous.

"Um James its Bella." I spoke quietly into the phone.

"Oh! Hello Bella!" He sounded more cheery and smug.

"Hi James, I'm just returning your call." I really just wanted him to get to the point of why he called and talk to him about the driving arrangements so I could hang up.

"Oh right, well I just called to ask if 6:30 o'clock was a good time to pick you up?" I remembered that the dance started at 7 so I thought that was reasonable.

"Yeah that sounds good. I'll be next door at the Cullens so just go over there." He was silent for a second.

"Excellent. I cant wait to see you." I shuddered at his words and the way they slid out of his mouth. I could tell in his voice that he was smirking through the phone.

"Ok bye." I hung up and turned back to Alice. "He is picking me up at 6:30 at your house." She jumped up excitedly.

"Great! Lets go to my house now and hang out before we start getting ready." I nodded and went up stairs to change. I knew that I would probably take a shower at Alice's so I just brushed my teeth and washed my face.

When we went into Alice's house I looked around a bit to see if Edward was anywhere in sight. Unfortunately I didn't see him anywhere and walked up stairs with Alice. Edward's door was shut as I passed it and no sound was coming from within. When I made it to Alice's room I saw that she had put out on her dresser all of her makeup, hair dryers, curling irons, straighteners, etc. You name it she had it. She really was prepared for everything. For the next two hours we just hung out and listened to music. Alice painted my nails and toes to match my dress. At three o'clock she sat up.

"Alright listen we both need to jump in the shower now. I'm going to jump into my bathroom but you can use Edward and Emmett's. I nodded and took a towel and the shampoo and conditioner that I had brought over from home to the boys bathroom at the end of the hall. When I went inside I unchanged quickly and folded up my clothes on the floor. The room was misty and warm as if someone had just taken a shower. When I pulled the shower curtain back, I saw the water drops on the tile floor and walls. I turned the hot water on and stepped in. As I washed my hair and body I became consciously aware that this was the same shower that Edward stood countless times naked under its water. Just the thought of being in the same place where he was naked made my skin tremble. I closed my eyes and relaxed under the soft fall of the water. I felt a cold air blow through the shower curtain but I dismissed it as the air vent. Unfortunately two seconds later I heard the sink water turn on. I then realized that I hadn't locked the bathroom door. Alice had been known to come into the bathroom when I was showering to brush her teeth or wash her face but I knew this couldn't be Alice because she was in her own bathroom showering. Before I had time to think about who it was I heard his voice.

"Hey Emmett can you hand me the shaving cream in there." My throat clamped up as I realized that it was Edward who was standing outside the shower curtain. He also thought that I was Emmett in here taking a shower. I looked around frantically for the shaving cream and had it in my hands. He started to get impatient and stuck his arm in the shower so I could hand it to him. I stepped back away from his arm, afraid that he would see me. I carefully put the shaving cream in his hand and the arm disappeared. I so badly wanted to peak and look at him. I went to the other side of the shower and pulled the curtain back slowly to steal a glance. He was standing at the sink with a bare chest and just his gray flannel pants on. At the moment he was lathering the shaving cream on his face to start shaving. The sight of him caused me to catch my breath. I should have made my presence known right away but I was caught up in the moment of seeing him standing there in his glory. My shower was over and I really did need to get out now. I stood still for a moment thinking about what was the best possible way to get out of here without him seeing me. Just then however there was a knock on the door. "Hey Edward hurry up and finish that shower I need to jump in now." I bit my lip nervously knowing my cover was blown. I heard the door open up.

"Wait …Emmett?" Edward voice sounded confused.

I stuck my arm out of the curtain to grab my towel off the rack and wrapped it around my body. Then slowly I pulled the curtain back and revealed myself. Edward just stood there with wide eyes and a half shaved face looking intensely at me.

"Hi." Was the only thing I managed to say until I picked up my clothes and turned to leave Edward standing there. Emmett was still in the hallway and chuckled when I walked by him. I shot him a glare. I made my way back into Alice's room where she was standing there in her in a button down shirt and shorts. She threw a similar outfit at me.

"Change into this for now while we do your hair and makeup." I nodded and changed and then sat on a stool in the middle of the room. I blow-dried my own hair since I had learned to pick up the craft from Alice, while Alice tended to her own hair. Her short hair was already dry and she had started to straighten it before even half of my thick long hair was completely dry. After she finished straightening her own hair, she started to help me with mine. She rolled different sections into curlers and then used the curling iron in different places. I was beginning to cough and choke on the amount of hair stray she would apply on each spiral curl. Next I sat down at her large vanity. After leaving the curlers in my hair she began to apply my makeup. I zoned out during the progress and next thing I knew Alice was smiling down at me in a pleasing way. She took out my curlers and then started to get herself ready. I put lotion on my legs and arms before starting to get into my dress. Once I put the dress on I stood in front of her long mirror to take in my appearance.

I was baffled at the image of the young woman who stood in front of me. The floor length red dress flowed down my body and clung to my curves to accentuate my womanly features. It fit my bust perfectly and cut down into a v in the back. My hair was in big flowing curls that fell over my shoulder and back in ringlets. My makeup was done to look smoky with my long dark lashes extending around my eyes. My lips had a soft pink gloss over them since Alice had said that I couldn't have drastic eyes and lips. It had to be one or the other. I guess I was playing attention to makeup instructions after all. Once Alice was in her dress she turned to face me. She had a purple strapless dress on that didn't cling to her like mine did but flowed down in soft layers. The color looked excellent on her porcelain skin and black hair.

"Alice you look beautiful!" She smiled and looked me over. "Bella James is going to pass out when he sees how you look." I cringed at the thought of James liking what he saw. Alice noticed and gave me a confused look.

"About James Alice, see… I don't really like him at all like that."

"Then why are you going to the dance with him?" She asked.

"Well I needed a date to go to the dance and he asked me so I just said yes without thinking." She laughed at this.

"Its alright Bella, I'll stay by you at the dance then if you aren't going to be comfortable next to him all night." I shot her a grateful look and let out a relieved sigh.

"Oh God thank you Alice! He gives me the creeps sometimes." She handed me a pair of matching heels and I looked at them painfully. I was not really a heel kind of gal but I would put up with them for the night.

When we were both finished we began to make our way down the stairs. I was walking especially slower then usual. Once I came into view of the Cullen's big living room I saw Esme standing there with her camera taking pictures of Edward…and Victoria…in front of the fire place. She had on a green dress that was short on her chest and legs. She certainly looked beautiful I thought, but she didn't leave much to the imagination. She had her arm draped around his side and was hugging him to her. My stomach dropped knowing that I would have to see this all night long. Then Edward's eyes met my own and I stood there as they roamed my body from head to toe before settling back on my face again. His eyes were dark and smoldering. I couldn't break his stare and just stood there looking back. Esme broke me out of my trace by pulling me into a hug. "Bella you look stunning dear."

I smiled sheepishly at her and she directed Alice and I to stand in front of the fire place. I passed by Victoria and Edward. Victoria met my eyes and smiled friendly at me but I knew it was just a show. "Oh Bella you clean up very nicely." I fought back the urge to slap her and smiled. Emmett came in the room then with his date Jessica by his side and stood with us. Carlisle was by the door and opened it to reveal our friend Angela with her date Ben. She came by Alice and I and we all exchanged compliments on our dresses. Angela and Jessica's mothers were both there and taking pictures. Esme wanted pictures of Alice and I alone as well as her two sons alone. I never had so many pictures taken of me in my life and my smile was starting to hurt.

As I was walking out of the picture for the next set of people to stand there Esme spoke up. "Bella honey you stay there, I want a picture with just Edward and you." Edward made his way over to me and stood at my side with his hands in his pockets. It definitely felt very awkward since we had not been on good terms lately and we had just had the shower encounter. Esme seemed to sense the discomfort and urged us on. "Get closer you too!" We both took a step into each other and Edward brought his hand out of his pockets to place an arm around me. The second I felt is fingers tips touch my bare back I gasped at the electric current it shot through me. His hand rested just between my shoulder blades and then slowly trailed its way down to my longer back. His fingertips grazing the back of my spine gently the whole way down. Edward's touch was sensual and soft but sent sparks throughout my whole body. I turned my head to look up at him and realized that he was staring down at me. We stood there looking into each other's eyes. He opened his mouth and was about to say something to me when Victoria appeared next to him glaring at me. She then turned happily towards Esme.

"Mrs. . Cullen can you take some more pictures of Edward and I?" At her words Edward's hand left my lower back. I cringed at the loss of it but the fiery tingling feeling from where his hand had been placed on my skin was still there. I stepped away and went to sit by Alice and Angela on the couch. As I was passing by Esme she whispered down to me. "I can hate her if you would like me too." She said this is a jokingly manner and I just gave her a warm smile and shook my head telling her it was alright.

I sat of the couch and continued to watch Edward. He looked so handsome in his black tuxedo. His hair looked more tamed then usual. I really couldn't tear my eyes away from him. I was addicted to the sight of him. He would meet my gazes and neither of us would break eye contact until one of us was pulled out of it by our surroundings.

"Earth to Bella!" Alice waved a hand in front of my face.

I blink and turned away from my wonderful view of Edward and met Alice's face. "Huh? Oh sorry."

She studied my face and looked curiously at me. "What is up with you? You seem a little distracted. You didn't respond when I was talking to you."

I gave her an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, I'm just thinking that's all. What did you say?"

"I was just saying that both of our dates aren't here yet." I looked around suddenly realizing she was right. I had almost forgotten about the fact that I was going to the dance with James. I just shrugged my shoulders letting Alice knowing that that really didn't bother me. She laughed at this and I joined in with her. I went back to glancing at Edward and saw that he looked tense and rigid, staring in the direction of the front door. His eyes shot quickly to me and I saw him take a step in my direction. His face looked like he was conflicting something in his mind. I looked at him trying to figure out his reaction. I turned my head to the direction of the door and saw that James and Alice's date Derek had arrived. James had his all to familiar leer on his face and bee lined to stand in front of me when he saw me. I stood up quickly not liking the feeling of power he emitted towering over me.

"You look very alluring Isabella Swan." I didn't know how to respond and his tongue flicked out quickly to lick his lips. Derek came to Alice's side and Esme turned to us.

"Alright you four, we don't have much time but I want to get some pictures in before you head out." Edward and Victoria had stepped aside and we took their spots. James had his arm around my hip and seemed to be clinging me to his side. It was just for the pictures I thought. After a few snaps I pulled to walk away but his strong grasp on me kept me in place. I looked up at him with anger in my eyes for not letting me go but he just snickered and turned to Esme.

"Mrs. Cullen can you take some pictures of Bella and I just by ourselves? I would like to have one of those for personal reasons." Esme didn't seem to catch on his innuendo but I saw Edward standing a distance behind his mother and he looked on anxiously shifting his weight from foot to foot. After Esme snapped one shot Edward spoke up.

"Alright everyone we should leave now. Bella you can ride with me since Emmett is taking his own car with Jessica."

My eyes lit up to the thought that I would get away from James for some time and spend some alone time with Edward. Maybe he would tell me what he was going to say while we were taking pictures. But then I suddenly realized something as I glanced over at the annoyed looking red head standing next to Edward. I wouldn't be alone with Edward, I would have to sit in the car the whole ride there with him and Victoria and that did not seem like an enjoyable ride at all. He looked at me hopeful eyes when James suddenly spoke.

"That's OK Cullen I can drive my date to the dance. You go on and drive your girl over." I winced internally at James calling Victoria Edward's girl. Edward's face turned expressionless and then angry. Victoria was beaming up at Edward. She obviously liked that statement. As much as I didn't want to be ride with Edward and Victoria, I really did not want to be alone with James.

Alice seemed to bounce at my side just then. "Derek came with James so we will be sharing a car with you guys." She whispered into my ear. I smiled relieved that at least Alice was there with me which made me feel a lot better. Her company would definitely help me and the ride there with James didn't seem too bad now.

Edward was speaking up again not willing to back down. "Well James I just think its better if I drive her since I can bring her home as well so you don't have to go out of your way."

I knew he felt like he was helping but I was eager now to go with James since Alice would be with me and spoke before thinking. "Edward just go ahead, I am going to go with James." After I said this I realized it sounded as if I had preferred James's company over Edward's. Edward's face look confused and then hurt before he turned away with Victoria hanging on his arm. He didn't look back as he went out the door.

James snickered to the side of me and I felt very guilty. Before I had more time to think however I was being pulled by Alice towards James's SUV. The ride went by fast since Alice and I talked the whole time in the back seat almost as if our dates weren't there. I got the impression that Alice wasn't that into her date either.

When we stepped inside the hotel that was hosting our winter formal, Alice and I gasped at how beautiful everything looked. There was an ice blue and silver theme throughout the ballroom with beautiful lights cascading up and down the ceiling to give the impression of a starry night. We went off to go find our table and put our purses down. James and Derek followed close behind and took a seat next to us. I did a quick scan around the room to see if I could spot Edward but he was no where to be found.

James was looking at me deviously when my eyes met his. "I am going to get a drink do you want one?"

"Yea sure." I said turning away quickly so I could continue my search of Edward. Alice pulled me to my feet and on to the dance floor that was crowded with people. I didn't really dance that much so I mimicked what Alice was doing. The amount of energy she emitted when she was dancing made me laugh and I was actually enjoying myself. We danced for long time with people joining in and out. I told her as best I could over the loud music if we could get a drink. I was craving a ice cold cup of water. We headed to our table when James appeared next to me with a cup in his hand.

"Here you are." He said while handing me the cup. I took a sip quickly just thinking of quenching my thirst instead of what it was he had given me. I spit it out quickly when the taste hit my mouth.

"What the hell did you give me?" It tasted horribly. I knew that it must have been alcohol even though I had never tasted it before. Edward didn't drink since he was strongly against it. He never said why but I think it was because his parents had been killed by a drunk driver. He had never told me that I couldn't drink but I abstained from it because of him. I also never had the desire to drink and didn't go to parties. I had on occasion stayed up late with Edward on the weekends so he could pick Emmett up and occasionally but rarely, Alice from a party.

James leaned in close so that his breathe sweep across my face. He had the smell of liquor on him and looking closer at him I saw that his eyes were redder then usual. His voice sounded raspy in my ear. "I got you a soda, with a special ingredient to help you loosen up a bit."

"No thank you" I said through gritted teeth and pushed past him to the nearest table to get a glass of water. I downed the glass quickly and the taste of vodka was slowly starting to go away. I looked around for Alice and saw her looking back at me apologetically as she was being pulled back to the dance floor by Derek.

James appeared in front of me again. "You know you have to dance with me at least once tonight."

I looked around quickly to see if I could find any plausible excuses or exits to get out of the situation but my eyes met none. When they returned back to James's face he looked at me victoriously sensing my defeat and stuck his hand out. I slowly put my hand in his trying my hardest to hide me grimace. He began to tug me forcefully toward the dance floor as if I would run away at any minute. I did think about it for a second but his iron stone grip on my hand begged to differ. He was nice enough to ask me to the dance so I could suck it up and dance with him right? I kept repeating this in my head over and over. Suddenly when we had arrived in the middle of the dance floor surrounded by people, James spun around and let go of my hand. The loss of contact was only fleeting when he grabbed my hips and pulled my body into him. I gasped at this and his all to familiar leer returned to his face as he looked down at me. My arms just hung at me side as he grinned into me with the music. It was one of the most uncomfortable and unpleasant moments of my life. As luck would have it the song was just ending and I started to pull away. Unfortunately I am not a lucky person and a slow song started up.

"Tut Tut where do you think you are going?" He questioned when he sensed my body retreating. He moved his one hand from my waist to the my bare back. His other hand took my arms one at a time from my side and brought them up to rest on his shoulders. Then after being satisfied he pulled me in closer so my chest was touching his. The hand on my back was on the same place that Edward's hand had been. The feel of it there was no where near the same effect that Edward's touch had given me. James's touch felt uncomfortable and unwelcome, almost as if by instinct my body knew that it did not belong in James's hands. I was thankful at least that he was not speaking and I could look around for Edward.

I lifted my gaze and was met with the eyes I had been searching for the whole night. His green eyes pierced into me across the room where he was swaying to the music with Victoria wrapped around him, her eyes closed and her head resting on his chest in contentment. I felt the lump in my thought form at the sight of both of them but I did not break his stare. He just looked back at me with a dejected expression. His brow was furrowed and serious.

Throughout the whole song we never broke eye contact and even though we were both in the arms of another I tried to imagine that it was him that was holding me. I emptied my mind from everything that had happened this year and blocked out everything and everyone around me, except for him. For a brief moment I forgot about James holding me and Victoria holding him, and it was just him and I in the room. My peaceful moment was cut when the song ended and James whispered into my ear.

"I like how you play hard to get Bella. The game is more exciting this way don't you agree?" I looked up at him confused.

"What game?" I asked.

"Come on Bella, I get that you don't give it up like most girls but lets just stop delaying the inevitable and get out of here and end this already." His voice sounded ragged. I think the alcohol was starting to have its affects on him. My body stilled at his words.

I started to feel my anger growing but was giving him to benefit of the doubt before I erupted. "What are you saying exactly James?"

He smirked thinking that I was playing along. He brought a finger up to my collar bone and started to trace a line down my skin to just above my cleavage as he spoke. "I don't think you are as innocent as you seem and I think you owe me a little something for time I spent in this ridiculous charade of yours playing hard to get." I was about to roar at him when he held up his index finger to let him finish. "Don't worry I will forgive you once we go back to my place and you give me what I want." After he said this he hiccuped and stared down at my cleavage.

I couldn't hold back now and slapped him across the face. He turned towards me and glared with fire in his eyes. I snarled at him. "I will **never** give you anything James, do you understand me?" With that I turned and walked away. I could have sworn I heard him laughing devilishly but I ignored him in search for the one pair of eyes that could bring me my comfort again. Edward was no where to be seen however and I let the ballroom to check outside. I didn't want to be at the dance any longer. I looked at my watch and saw that there was still an hour let to go. Thankfully I found Alice coming out of the bathroom.

"Alice do you know where Edward is?" I said fast hoping to get to him quickly.

"Yeah he left a couple of minutes ago with Victoria. Why what's wrong?" My stomached dropped as I heard that. I'm sure my face did as well.

"Nothing I just don't want to stay here anymore I think I had enough of the dance." She put her arm around my shoulder to cheer me up.

"Well then you will be happy because I heard Emmett saying that he wanted to leave early to get some food at the local diner if you're up for it?"

I really just wanted to go home and sleep to forget about the night but the idea of leaving even to go to a diner sounded fine by me and I nodded eagerly. I did realize that I was very hungry and maybe the food would help distract me from thinking about what Edward and Victoria were doing with each other at this very second. Emmett, Alice, and I were the only ones to go to the diner since both their dates wanted to stay at the dance until the end. My mood was still low but they both made jokes and teased each other to cheer me up. I told them about what James had said and asked them not to say anything about it to anyone. Emmett offered to kick his ass but I just chuckled and told him I hit him myself which made him roar with laughter. Apparently the thought of me hitting someone was hilarious. We stayed at the diner for a little over two hours. The food had given me energy and I was no longer tired. I was dreading now having to go home alone to think about him with her.

When we made it home Edward's car wasn't in the driveway and I tried to ignore that fact as best I could but the pain was slowly seeping in. I said goodbye to Emmett and Alice and made my way into my dark house. I got a glass of water and drank it slowly as I felt the first tear fall down my face. Everything was so quiet and calm around me but inside my emotions were like a violent storm. I turned off the lights downstairs and slowly made my way up into my room. My door opened slowly and I turned on my light switch. There sitting on my bed with his elbows on his knees and his head hanging down was Edward. He looked up at me slowly. He still had his tux on but the white shirt was unbuttoned and his hair was in a messy display. His eyes looked painfully at me and then back at the floor.

"Where did you go after the dance?" he whispered. I was still standing in the doorway looking at him.

"I went to the diner with Emmett and Alice." He nodded his head but still didn't look up at me.

"Where did you go with Victoria?" The words came out fast. I needed to know.

"I told her I was tired and wanted to leave so I dropped her off at her house and then came here." I mulled it over in my head and but then realized his car wasn't here when I came home.

"You're car wasn't here when I came home." I said point blankly.

He finally looked up at me with his same pained expression and ran a hand through his hair. "I came here and waited for you until after the dance. You never came home so I drove around hoping to spot you." I stared at him in disbelief. This was more than what Edward usually admitted to me.

I sat down on my bed next to him needing him to explain himself to me. "Why Edward? Why were you looking for me?" He ran his hands over his face and looked at me directly. "I needed to know you were safe."

I breathed out the breathe I was holding in. I had hoped he would have given me a different answer. I looked down at my hands in my lap so he wouldn't see the disappointment in my eyes.

His hand slowly moved towards mine and placed it over them. I looked back up at him.

"Bella what's happening between us?……. I feel us pushing apart more and more." He left go of my hands and look away. "Carlisle came to me the other day and told me that upon my graduation from high school I'm going to receive a trust fund that my parents had set up for me. The settlement money from after the car crash will be in there too. I didn't know about any of this." I now grabbed his hands in my own and turned him to look at me.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I wasn't angry or hurt by him anymore, I needed to be there for him I realized. His sad expression made my heart break.

"I wanted to tell you but things have been so weird and tense between us that I didn't have a chance to bring it up. But the reason why I bring it up now is because it got me thinking about them and what my life would have been like if they had never died." He raised is hand up to cup my cheek and looked into my eyes. "Bella, my parents death was the worst thing that ever happened to me in my life…but in a horrible way I could see it as the best thing to happen to me too..." I gasped at his words but he continued on. "It… it brought me to you." His thumb was brushing away the tears that were falling down my face as he spoke to me. "I can't…I can't have you out of my life." I stared deeply into his green orbs slowly grasping his words. "You don't understand how important you are to me. You're all I have, just promise me you won't go away, because not having you in my life would be the worst thing that could truly ever happen to me." His voice broke at the end as he let go of my face to cover his own. I brought my hands up to cup each side of his face now so he would have to look at me.

"Edward don't forget about your family that loves you and is there for you. You're not alone." I tried to reassure him.

He slowly shook his head in my hands. "I know that they love me and I love them but when I think of my true family, who give me the strength to be a better person, to be my true self, and who make my life better every day…. I think of you."

The tears were cascading down my cheeks now like a waterfall. I wrapped my arms around his neck and threw myself into him. He wrapped his arms around me and held me tight.

"I'm here for you always Edward. I'm not going anywhere." I sobbed into his chest. He buried his head into my hair and stroked my head to soothe my crying. We both stayed like this for a while until my crying started to die. Then he laid back on my bed bringing me with him to lay against his chest. I snuggled into his chest while he stroked my back with his finger tips to calm and relax my tears. The emotions that had been bottled up from the past few days had finally erupted tonight and now I was drained completely after letting them all out. Edward just held me as I cried into him and I started to doze off when he began to hum a lullaby to me. My eye lids began to get drowsy with sleep. He didn't speak until my crying had come to an end.

"Bella?" Edward whispered.

"Hmm?" I murmured in my half sleep like state.

"I didn't get the chance to tell you how beautiful you looked tonight…" It could have been him that said the words or my dreams that had started to engulf me but I felt Edward's lips kiss down on my head before I fell deep into one of the most peaceful night slumbers I had ever slept…warm, safe, and loved in Edward's arms. This was where I belonged.

* * *

**Author's note:**

**I hoped you enjoyed the chapter. I'm really sorry that it took so long to get it up. I have been so busy and haven't had the time to type it. I already know how many more chapters it is going to be before it ends since I mapped it out and I am about half way through. I am still very busy since school started again but I am going to try to post up a chapter a week. Maybe more if it is a good week : ).** **I am sure there are errrors in the chapter and I apologize since I rushed to get it up finally. Please review! Both good or bad responses to the chapter are welcomed, it encourages me to write more. Thanks guys!**


	9. Valentine's Day

**Disclaimer: All these characters belong to Stephanie Meyer.**

* * *

I yawned deeply unwilling myself to open my eyes and leave my peaceful unconscious state. Every ounce of me wanted to hold on to whatever dream I had just been having. I could not recall exact details of it but the stirring inside of me left a feeling of happiness and content. I didn't want the unknown dream to end just yet and I tried to tie images together to bring my mind back to that place.

My body was comfortably engulfed in a protective warm blanket and it was the kind of warmth that a person did not step away or out of. It reminded me of the warmth of the suns rays during the summers in Arizona that I loved dearly before I moved to Forks to live with Charlie. I clung to this warmth now and tried to piece together the dream._ Did I dream of my forgotten home?_

A warm breeze blew across my face and I pictured the warm breeze of Arizona. I was still half awake however and I had never felt such a realistic dream in my whole life. The breeze continue to gently graze my face almost to the timing of my own breathing. As my mind wandered in and out, images began to come back to me. _My dark room… Edward in a tuxedo…tears.. _The events of last night began flooding back and I felt fully awake now, knowing that going back to sleep would be impossible.

As I opened my eyes, the frustration of the dream I could not go back to was overridden by the dream that had come true and was holding me in his arms. Edward's face was inches from mine. His eyes were closed and his mouth was slightly parted so that I could feel his breathing on my face. Our bodies were pressed against each other and he had his arms wrapped around me, while our legs intertwined.

He looked so peaceful and relaxed and I couldn't help but smile. His hair was ruffled with sleep and he still had on his black tux with the collar opened. I did a quick scan down and saw that I was still dressed in my gown and we were both laying on top of the covers, yet comfortably warm in our embrace. I starred at his beautiful face for some time before succumbing to the urge to touch him, slowly lifting my fingers to trace along his jaw. He stirred for a second, snuggling in closer to me and tightening his arms around my body.

I held my breath, not wanting to wake him in fear that he would let go of me when he realized our position. It was the best feeling to have him holding me in his arms like this and I knew my time was limited so I clung to however many seconds I could get. After a few minutes of stillness, I brought my fingers back up to his lips and let them pass over them lightly. I wanted so badly to have my lips replace where my fingers were placed.

My fingers on his lips stirred him again and I gulped and took them away, hoping once again that I didn't wake him, but his eyes slowly opened. I was dreading to see the awkwardness and regret in his eyes when his saw the position we were in. His reaction wasn't what I expected however when his eyes fully opened and took me in. He smiled his beautiful crooked grin, all the while never releasing me from his grasp. The only thing that I could do at that moment was stare back awe struck and finally give him back the smile that he was graciously giving me. We just laid looking at each other for a minute and never pulling away.

Before I was going to say something, I heard the front door close and footsteps on the stairs. My eyes widen at the realization of who it was that was walking up the stairs at that very moment. _Charlie. _ I quickly pushed off of Edward, knowing that Charlie had just returned home from his night shift and would most likely check on me before he went to sleep.

Pushing off of Edward seemed to be a bad idea in my small bed as he rolled off and landed on the floor in a thud. The sound of hurried foot steps on the stairs made me aware that the thud didn't pass by Charlie. Edward's face looked at me from the floor in confusion and what I think was hurt, but it quickly changed to panic when he heard Charlie barreling up the stairs.

He shot up and looked around frantically for a place to hide since he didn't have time to climb out the window. I flared my arms in the direction of my closet. Edward got the hint and snuck in, closing the door at the precise second that Charlie opened mine.

"Bells?" Charlie looked in frantically first at me and then surveyed the room, probably looking for intruders.

I popped up on my elbows now trying to casually look like I just woke up. Unfortunately I still had on my dress from last night so the casual look didn't really succeed.

"Hey Dad" I replied groggily to seem like I was still in a sleepy state.

He smiled at me and then furrowed his brow when he noticed my attire. "Why are you still in your dress?"

I looked down at myself and tried to act confused. "Oh wow, I must have fallen asleep the second I laid down last night."

He seemed to believe it and chuckled. "So you had a good time at the dance then?"

I nodded and smiled. "Yeah it was fun."

"Good I'm happy you had a good time. When's the next time James is coming over for dinner?"

I could have sworn I heard a disgruntled huff from the closet after Charlie's words.

"I don't think he will be coming over anytime soon." I answered with a sour face.

Charlie raised his eyebrows in curiosity but didn't ask for information. He was too tired from work. "Alright kiddo, I'm going to sleep now. I just wanted to make sure you were ok." He smiled and went to leave before turning quickly back to face me again. "Hey what was that loud noise before?"

"Oh I fell off the bed." He laughed again at the thought of my clumsiness, believing my lie since it was entirely possible for me to do.

"Alright just be careful ok?"

"I'll try Dad, have a good sleep."

He slowly closed the door and I heard him cross the hall to his room before closing his room door. At the sound of Charlie's room door closing, Edward opened the closet. He had a smirk on his face and seemed to be pleasantly amused.

"What can you possibly find entertaining about this? We almost just died if Charlie had caught you in here." I tried to sound annoyed and serious but I was still in my euphoria of sleeping in Edward's arms all night so it came out playful.

His smirk grew and he shrugged his shoulders. "I just think its funny that I didn't wake up in time before he came home. Usually my body wakes itself up likes it's a survival instinct, making sure I'm out of here before Charlie even gets home." He laughed and shook his head. "But for some reason, last night's sleep was so good that I didn't wake up at all."

I blushed at his words and looked down at my feet. _So he slept good in my bed with me…_ It was one of the best night sleeps that I had had by far and I was upset that it was over. The sun looked like it was just starting to rise outside our window and I was still very tired. I looked at the clock on my night stand and saw that it was 7:51am, which was early considering it was a Sunday morning. I suppose that Edward and I hadn't really fallen asleep until 2am. I stifled a yawn and looked back at Edward.

"We should probably go back to sleep." He said looking out the window at the sunrise.

I knew that he would go back to his house then and just mumbled a yeah and went to get a pair of pajamas so I could finally change out of my dress. Sure enough without saying a another word or looking back at me, Edward opened my window and climbed out into the chilly air. When I went into the bathroom I looked at myself in the mirror and gasped. My curled hair looked like a tangled mess all over my head, and my black makeup was smeared under my eyes. I groaned realizing that I had looked like that in front of Edward. I changed into a pair of Edward's sweats and one of his shirts that I had confiscated last time I slept over his house. Sometimes I think he liked that I slept in his clothes because he never asked for them back or objected to it.

If I couldn't get to snuggle next to Edward while I slept, then the next best thing was wearing his extremely comfortable and delicious smelling clothes. I washed my face thoroughly, removing all of the makeup and brushed my teeth. I decided that the hair was a lost cause at the moment and I would tend to it after I woke up again. Today felt like a good lazy Sunday however and I pictured myself staying in bed all day, or at least not getting out of my now comfy attire.

After I was finally done in the bathroom I tip toed back to my room and was surprised to see Edward, laying in my bed sleeping, or pretending to be at the least. I was confused by why he would come back over to go asleep again. I thought last night he had just fallen asleep while he was comforting me and it was purely accidental. But now, he had purposefully came back to sleep in my bed. Did he just really think my bed was comfortable and wanted to sleep in it? Esme had bought him a king size tempurpedic bed at his house which was pointless since he slept on my floor. (Esme obviously didn't know those details). His bed at home was definitely more comfortable than my floor or my bed.

So why did he come back? Did he enjoy sleeping next to me as much as I enjoyed it? I found that possibility to much to hope for and got the blanket and pillow I had for him out so I could lay down on the floor, since he was obviously taking the bed.

As I sat down and was about to lay back Edward grumbled. "Bella what are you doing?"

I wanted to smile since he was faking his sleep but just acted innocent. "I'm going back to sleep."

He finally turned over and opened his eyes to look at me. He opened up the blanket over himself on my bed and nodded his head for me to join. He had changed out of his tux into sweats and a tee.

My eyes lit up and I jumped up quickly. "Really?" I asked excitingly.

He just rolled his eyes and smiled. "You thought that I was going to make you sleep on your own floor while I took your bed? I'm not that heartless."

I just shrugged and slipped into the bed next to him so that we were facing each other again. We were close since the bed was small, but we didn't touch or embrace each other. Having him so close in my bed though was enough for me however and I was thrilled. We both closed our eyes but I peaked at him a few times, always seeing a faint smile on his lips as if he knew I was looking at him. We fell asleep apart from each other, but when we woke up a few hours later we were in that warm embrace, holding and snuggling each other tightly.

* * *

December went by fast and a month had passed already. Now it was February 14th. The one day of the year where I was especially miserable and bitter. It was the one day a year created to make people in love feel better about themselves and the single people like myself, realize just how lonely they really were. Especially if that person was in love with the same person every Valentine's day year after year and that boy didn't love her back that way.

But this Valentine's day when I woke up and got ready for school, I had an extra pep in my step. I wasn't bitter, or miserable but…hopeful. I woke up with apprehension. Today I was going to tell him that I loved him. I was sick of keeping it bottled up. I was a plateau stage with him and I needed to take a step forward, I needed to do something for myself for a chance and act brave.

For the past month he had moved from sleeping on the floor in my room to sleeping in my bed. The night of winter formal had been a changing point in our relationship. It was the closest we had ever truly been. We fell asleep every night apart from each other but we always woke up in each others arms. We never talked about why Edward slept in my bed now, he just did. I was the one who now had to set an alarm clock early to wake him up so he could leave before Charlie woke up, since Edward couldn't wake up by himself anymore.

I wasn't nervous about telling him how I felt like I use to be. Sure, there was still a part of me that knew his rejection of my feelings for him would tear me apart inside but things felt so different between us lately. Sleeping next to him definitely had an impact on our relationship, but the way Edward treated me was different now as well. He seemed to be more endearing to me then usual. He wasn't my boyfriend but I did notice the subtle grazes against my arm whenever he passed me in the hall or how he started to open and close almost every door I entered and exited as if I wasn't capable of it.

Then there was the stares that I would receive. I always knew he was looking at me because my skin would tingle as his eyes bore into me, his glance alone made my body react. I could never stop the blush from coming to my cheeks and when I would raise my eyes to meet his, he would look away fast, equally embarrassed that he had been caught.

So in honor of this particular Friday, I wore a form fitting red blouse (in significance of the color dress I had the night of formal that had been a changing point for us. I suppose I thought the color was lucky), and tight dark jeans that Alice had commented made my butt look good. I wore my hair wavy, applied light makeup, and set off for the day. Maybe since today was the national holiday of love I had been given this unknown confidence in getting what I wanted, but I was eager to tell him soon so that it was finally off my chest. Keeping my feelings from him was getting harder and harder.

As I walked outside, Edward was leaning up against his car like always, waiting for me. He was all too aware of my usual grumpiness on this particular day and so he was generally surprised to see the big smile I had on my face at seeing him. I couldn't stop smiling today.

"Well aren't you the unusual happy camper today?"

I shrugged nonchalantly. "Today is not as bad as I make it out to be."

He seemed even more intrigued as he opened the door for me and raised his eyebrows. "Out of all the years I've known you, I never thought I'd hear the day you'd say that Valentine's day isn't so bad." He laughed, as I just rolled my eyes but eventually laughed with him.

"Where's Alice?" I asked, noticing her absence from the back seat. She was my dose of coffee in the morning, waking me up with her excitement and enthusiasm for a new day.

"She actually went with Emmett today." He replied while staring straight ahead, acting in a nervous manner. I was baffled by Alice's absence and Edward's behavior, but I decided to examine that issue later and didn't question it. It was silent in the car for a while and Edward seemed to be tense, evident by his white knuckles gripping the steering wheel tightly.

His voice then broke the silence but he sounded unsure of himself. "Bella… there's something I want to talk to you about?" I turned in my seat but he still kept his eyes on the road, unwilling to meet my gaze.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Well, I…ugh...I" he groaned in frustration.

"Edward what is it? You can tell me." I placed my hand on his arm trying to show him some reassurance. He took a deep breath and finally spoke again now turning to look at me. "We're at school now."

Sure enough I looked out the car window and saw our school. The whole time my eyes had been on him, that I didn't even notice that the car had stopped.

"But I do want to talk after school." He said almost urgently. I just nodded my head and before I got out, he ran out quickly and opened the car door for me. We walked into school together in a strange silence, with an unknown tension between us.

"I want to talk to you about something after school too." I said looking up at him.

He smiled his crooked grin at me and said before leaving- "It's a date then." I stared after him longingly as he walked away before turning to go to my homeroom. _Today was definitely going to be a good day..._

The school was buzzing more than usual today as it did on most holidays. I passed by girls with flowers and chocolates in their hands. The main color of everyone's outfits seemed to be pink and red. I groaned in realization that my red shirt made me look like I was in the holiday spirit along with everyone else. Usually on this day I wore a black hoodie and sweats, but like I said things were different today and something was going to happen, so I wanted to look nice.

When I walked into my homeroom the smell of twenty different perfumes hit my nose in full force. The girls in the class had apparently put enough on to last them through the day…. and the weekend it smelt like. Everyone was standing up and walking around. I took my seat towards the back and pulled out my books.

Our teacher Mr. White walked in then with a stack of papers in his arms and my stomach went queasy. _Had I accidentally forgotten that there was a quiz today? _I looked around nervously and was not the only student who was acting a little on edge eying the pile of papers.

The teacher noticed everyone growing quiet and smiled back at us. "Relax everybody, this isn't a pop quiz." A collective gush of air escaped everyone as the relief set in. "This is a new thing the school is doing this year for Valentine's Day. Its a compatibility test. Its only a dollar and the proceeds that the school makes go to the charity that sponsors this, so I encourage you all to do this. It should take you all about ten to fifteen minutes to fill out and then in your lunch periods you get your results."

The girls seemed to giggle excitedly about the thought of a computer telling them who there best mate in the school could be. It would be quite comical if people got matched with someone that they didn't expect. I couldn't wait to see the awkward looks and distance glances people would give to those that they hadn't seen potential in, but suddenly since a computer saw it, they suddenly did too.

I thought it was a completely ridiculous idea but I wasn't opposed to contribute to a charity and this could make my lunch period more amusing. So I went up and bought a quiz just like everyone else and went back to take my seat. It was a two page long multiple choice survey, first asking questions about my own personality, likes, and dislikes. Then the second page was all about what I looked for in someone and ideal dreams about my relationship with that person. It definitely gave me something to do for fifteen minutes. The last question was whether or not I wanted the computer to match me with people only in my grade or the entire male population at school. I choose the latter because I thought it would be more interesting and funny.

After class I ran into Alice in the hallway near her locker. She eyed me and smiled deviously. "Well look at you. Someone dressed up for the holiday I see."

I blushed and frowned at her. "It wasn't on purpose, it was a coincidence that's all. How come you went with Emmett to school today?"

She laughed at me and then looked thoughtful. "I don't know it was weird. Edward just asked if I could catch a ride with him today." She shrugged like it was no big deal and closed her locker.

The whole thing did seem very strange to me now. I didn't know if I could wait until after school to find out what Edward wanted to talk to me about, but I knew that I would have to wait. I hurried along to class and as the passing time went by I became more and more anxious to see him. My leg would not stop bouncing up and down as I tried to wait patiently for each class to end.

I seemed to see Edward more and more in the halls between classes lately then before, which was strange since our classes were in different buildings or far apart. _Not that I was complaining_. We never had time to talk to one another but his smile was enough to get me through another boring class period.

Now I had five minutes left in my last class before I met Edward at my locker for lunch. As the minutes ticked down, the teacher asked me if I could bring a paper to the main office and I grudgingly said yes, trying not to be rude. I speed walked to the main office and practically threw the paper at the smiling secretary as I heard the bell ring. I hurried along to my locker trying not to skip in excitement until I realized that I had left my books in my last class. I let out a frustrated groan which earned me a few glances from some people around me.

The classroom was empty now and I picked up my books quickly, almost losing a few of the loose notes that were wedged inside. My body was shaking with the anticipation of seeing him and talking to him finally. Today was going to be different…today was going to be great.

The stair case that took me to my locker the shorter route was jam packed with people and moving at a slow rate. I chose the stair case further down the hall which was less populated with people. As I rounded the corner, the toe of my foot caught on the floor and I started to fall forward. I stepped my other foot out in time to catch myself but my notebook fell to the floor, spilling out a couple papers and agendas. Even though my notebook fell, I felt like I had luck on my side since I didn't fall on my face.

I huffed and bent down to pick them up but first lifted my eyes to see if anyone saw my embarrassing clumsiness. And as my eyes lifted I saw them.... standing down the hall with his back against the locker and her body pressing into him with her tongue down his throat.

My Edward…with his lips attached and his face engulfed with Victoria, who at the moment was tugging on his beautiful bronze hair in the heated passion of the kiss. I looked down quickly unable to bear anymore of the sight and picked my books up. I would have rather taken the fall to my face then the sight of the both of them.

My stomached heaved in nausea and I felt like I was going to be sick….. because at that moment of seeing him with her I knew that it was over….or in more actuality, would never begin. This final acceptance of what will never be torn through my chest like a freight train. The sorrow and heartbreak that I wasn't enough for him, and the anger that I had at myself for thinking that I ever could be, ripped through my heart in the most unphysical yet real way I had ever felt.

I needed to get out of there as fast as I could because the weight of the realizations were constricting down on my chest and suffocating me.

As I turned around panting and knowing that my breaking point would come at any second, I was met by the face of Lauren Malory, smiling at me. "They really must love each other to have that kind of passion." She said with a snicker on the end, her words reaching into the wound inside of me and ripping at it more. The pressure became too much and I pushed past her knowing that I wouldn't be able to contain myself much longer.

I flew down the stairs knowing I had to get somewhere fast before I crumbled. The bathroom on the second floor was the first place that came into view and I flew myself in gasping for air as the weight of my emotions pressed deeper and deeper into me. This pain was worse then any other physical pain I've had. I clutched my chest where my heart was and scrambled to the nearest stall and went in quickly.

I was so overwhelmed and began quivering and shaking as the pain continued to hit me in wave after wave as if I was a ship being hit by the force of a violent storm. I knew I was sinking and the sobs finally erupted and the tears flowed out much like the water that would rush into the boat, finally bringing it to its fate. I sat on the floor with my knees tucked into my chest and sobbed. I tired to block out the memories of the both of us and how much I loved him but they would seep in and plow into my heart, just increasing my distress. Time felt like it dragged on forever, but I didn't want to go out there and see anyone or see…him.

The sobs increased as I pictured his face confused because he wouldn't know what was wrong. He had no clue about how I felt about him and how much it hurt me that he didn't love me the way I loved him.... and he would never know. I would never tell him. I didn't think that I could see him anymore though because it would be a new pain every time I did. His face a constant reminder of what I couldn't have. It wasn't his fault though that he loved someone else...I couldn't be angry with him over that.

Through the crying I heard the bathroom door open and I squeezed my eyes shut and abruptly became quiet hoping it wasn't him. _Please let it not be him…_

"Bella? You in here?" asked a familiar voice. I let the breath I was holding in out as I recognized Alice's chirpy sound. She must have heard me because the stall door suddenly opened and Alice stood in front of me with a smile on her face, quickly turning to a look of dread.

She gasped, placing a hand over her mouth, looking at me in horror. "What happened to you?!"

My appearance must have been disastrous, mirroring my current emotional state and this made the crying resume again. She quickly lowered herself and hugged me to her in an attempt to comfort me. "Shh, its ok. What happened Bella? Tell me what happened."

I wanted to tell her everything but then I thought that if Alice was looking for me then Edward must be too and suddenly I really needed to get out of there. I wanted to go home to my room where I could lock out everything and no one would have to see me like this.

"Alice please get me out of here. I want to go home." I was being irresponsible and selfish knowing that I wanted to leave school when Alice and I still had classes left, but I couldn't be here anymore and my anxiety started hit me at the thought of facing him like this.

"Alright we will, let me just go and get Edward and-" I cut her off and looked up at her frantically. "NO! No don't get him please. I don't want him to see me like this, just please get me out of here. Don't let him know anything about this….. please."

She looked at me so confused and torn about what to do. "I don't know Bella…. are you sure you don't want him, he could help you."

I knew she was talking about the countless times in my past when I was hurt or upset and the only person that I asked for that made me feel better was him, but that was then…now he was the last person that could heal this pain. "No Alice please just don't tell him… just…just take me home, please…" I said through my tears.

She just nodded and stood up. "Just wait here ok? I'll go and get Emmett's car keys and we can sneak out after the beginning of 6th period. I just nodded and sniffed trying to regain my composure just in case I saw anyone when I was leaving the school. She left through the door and I stood up and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked the worst I had ever looked with puffy red eyes from crying and black running down my cheeks from where my mascara had been. My hair was sticking to my teary wet cheeks and my nose was running from crying so much.

Alice quickly came back in and we snuck out of the bathroom, through the empty halls of the school since 6th period had just began, and made our way to Emmett's jeep. Any other time it would have been hilarious to see a little young girl like Alice hoist herself into Emmett's enormous jeep, but today I couldn't be humored as I looked at the shiny silver Volvo parked next to it and began to cry again.

Alice didn't say anything but looked with a concerned face over at me from time to time. Once we made it home I walked inside and fell onto the couch in the living room of my empty house and sobbed into the pillows.

Alice sat down next to me and rubbed my back trying to sooth me in anyway she could. "Bella…what happened today?" She whispered. I couldn't talk through my crying and just shook my head letting her know that I wasn't ready to speak yet. She seemed to understand and just sat with and comforted me, knowing that was what I really needed. I finally was able to pull myself up from laying down and sit on the couch to face her, rubbing the tears away with the back of my hand.

"Can you tell me what happened sweetie?" She asked. I nodded knowing that I needed to so she would understand my breakdown. I really needed someone to talk to as well since I spent so long keeping everything locked up.

Saying it out loud though proved to be even more painful. "I saw him.." I chocked on a sob, "kissing her.." And then the tears fell again.

"Who did you see?" she asked now.

"Edward and….and Victoria." I chocked out.

She seemed to be lost by my words. "But why would that affect you- OH MY GOD!" She shouted when something seemed to occur to her suddenly. "You're in love with Edward!" She beamed at me.

I just sobbed at her saying the painful truth out loud. She became somber then again. "Bella does he know?" She asked. I just shook my head and let the tears fall.

"You have to tell him." she said matter-of-factly.

I looked at her in horror. "What?! No, I am not going to tell him…he doesn't feel that way about me, and he's with her.."

"How do you know?" she asked now. I then went on to tell her everything about Victoria and him. From the time he first mentioned her, what I had overheard Victoria and Lauren talking about in the bathroom, to the dance, and finally to the kiss that I had witnessed today. She seemed floored and stared at me with an open mouth as I explain and vented about how I had clung to the hope that he maybe felt the same way about me, but really he was in a relationship this whole time with Victoria. _That was probably what he wanted to talk to me about after school today...how could I be so stupid?_

"That bitch! Do you want me to kick her ass?" She asked angrily.

I gave her a small smile and shook my head. "Its ok, its not like what she said wasn't true. I'm not enough for him, she is…" Alice was shaking her head and I knew she was going to argue with me and tell me that I am a great girl and blah de dah but I just didn't want to hear it because it wasn't true….if it was true I would be his. "Please don't say anything Alice. I know you are just trying to make me feel better but I can't hear it right now."

She closed her mouth and wrapped me up in a big hug. "I'm so sorry Bella." I heard her sniffle and I knew she was crying with me.

"Its ok Alice. Thank you so much for helping me, you don't know how much you really helped me out today."

She wiped her tear and pulled back from me. "Don't ever thank me for being your friend Bella, I will always help you when you need me to."

I smiled weakly at her and realized how much I really loved Alice as a person and how caring and sincere she was as a friend.

"I just got so worried when you didn't show up for lunch and Edward seemed worried too since he was looking for you-" She stopped talking when she saw my wince at the mention of him. "-…sorry." She added said with an apologetic face.

"Its ok.." I looked down at my hands, thinking about what I wanted to ask but knowing it would hurt me. "What did you say to him after you found me?"

Alice sighed. "Well I told him you were in the bathroom because you got sick and of course he became very concerned and started to head to see you but I told him that you didn't want to see anyone and I was going to take you home….you know how stubborn he is, so he kept insisting that he drive you but I tricked him out of it by saying you needed a girl for this problem." She looked at me apologizing again. "I hope I didn't embarrass you using that excuse but that was the only thing that got him to back down."

"No that's fine! You helped me by getting me out of there without seeing him and that's all that I cared about." I said gratefully.

She smiled knowing that she helped me out.

"I think I'm going to take a shower though Alice, but can you stay here with me for the day? I don't really want to be alone…" I said frowning and looking down.

"Of course! Go shower. Maybe you'll feel better and then we can watch movies and order some unhealthy food on this dreadful day. School should be over soon so I'll make sure Edward goes away if he stops over." I knew he would and just nodded and headed upstairs.

I couldn't be angry at him because he didn't know about my feelings for him but I really couldn't see him for a while since the pain was fresh. I knew that I needed to slowly distance myself from him or this was just going to hurt me more and more…because I couldn't just be Edward's friend and now knowing that our relationship wasn't going to move ahead, I couldn't move a step back or stay in the way it was now either.

The shower really didn't help except for cleaning off my smudgy makeup and I cried whenever I thought of all the happy times I had with him or the hope that I had this morning when I woke up. This had officially become the worse Valentine's day I had ever had and probably will ever have.

I changed into something comfy, for once not putting on his clothes because I couldn't deal with his smell wrapped around me.

When I made it downstairs Alice had delivery lists out and a stack of movies. I sat down next to her and she said that she had ordered some special fatty comfort food from one of my favorite takeout places and some over small things from four different others. This earned a light laugh from me at the thought of five delivery guys arriving at the same time at the house to drop off the food.

I tried to give her some money but she refused saying it was her treat and I needed a pick me up. We picked out some movies to watch. I chose the least romantic ones out of the bunch and we ended up with some classic horrors like Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Friday the 13th, Halloween, The Hills Have Eyes, and the Exorcist.

Alice didn't object to my choices and just laughed at them. "So he stopped by when you were in the shower to check on you…" she trailed off knowing that it would upset me.

I just nodded and closed my eyes. I didn't really have any tears left however so I just breathed in some air. "What did you say?" I whispered.

"Well he wanted to see you to make sure you were fine but I said that wasn't necessary and that you didn't want to see anyone right now. I think he was a little spiteful that I get to see you and he doesn't, but he seemed to understand and told me to tell you to call him if you needed him for anything."

I just nodded and tried not to have a breakdown again. I really couldn't handle another one since I was mentally and physically exhausted.

Alice seemed to sense me on the edge of one and spoke up. "Oh hey! I know what will cheer you up." She looked down at her bag on the floor looked through it before coming up with a white envelop in her hands. "Since you didn't come to lunch, I picked up your results for that compatibility test for you."

I took the envelop and stared down at it before opening it slowly and taking out a folded piece of paper. Before I unfolded it, Alice spoke again. "Hopefully you have better luck than me. My paper said that there wasn't a single match for me in the school! Can you believe it! Not a single one. Jessica Stanley had at least twenty-five different names on hers!"

I laughed now at her anger over the stupid computer matcher and she laughed with me. I almost forgot that I even had the paper in my hands but Alice urged me on to open it. I tried to be funny by saying sarcastically how ironic it would be to get matched up with James and Alice laughed. When I unfolded the paper and stared down at it however there was only one name I saw that felt like a punch in the stomach.

**Number 1 Match for Isabella Swan:**

_Edward Masen Cullen_

_No shit_… I thought as I unraveled into my despair once again. I also seemed to be wrong about having no more tears to cry because they soon began to roll down my cheeks fast and thick dripping onto the taunting white paper I held below me.

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**Author's note:**

**Hey everyone! Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Please review and tell me your thoughts about it. I didn't really have to make too much up since this really happened to me one Valentine's day, even the compatibilty test saying that the boy was my number one match. In this chapter Alice is actually written after one of my best friends you helped me that day. She is going to read this so this chapter is dedicated to her. Again I hope you enjoyed the chapter and sorry for the delay, school is hell.  
**


	10. The Party

**Disclaimer: All these characters belong to Stephanie Meyer.**

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_Edward Masen Cullen. _The name taunted me. I started crying once again and my hands clutched fiercely to the piece of paper that was in my hands, almost ripping it from the amount of force I was exerting on it.

Alice looked down at the piece of paper. "Oh jeezes. Come on Bells, let the paper go."

I slowly released it and she took it from me and put it somewhere out of my sight before holding me in a hug and letting my sob once again into her shoulder. Once my crying finally stopped, Alice put a movie on and I laid down on the couch and began to watch it. Our food came within the hour and I filled myself up with as much comfort the delicious food could offer before falling asleep on the couch in the living room.

When I woke up the TV was still on but the house was darker. I must have slept until the sun went down. Alice was not in the room with me anymore and I thought maybe she had gone home.

There was a light coming from the kitchen and voices filtering out. I rubbed my eyes and sat up slowly. My head hurt a little bit but I figured that it was because of all the emotion I experienced this afternoon. I always got a little headache after a daytime nap and especially the amount of crying that I ensued. I made my way slowly to the kitchen and saw Charlie sitting at the table eating some of our leftovers and Alice over by the microwave heating something up.

She turned around and saw me by the doorway. "Hey Bells, I'm heating up some dinner, do you want anything?"

My stomach still felt very full and heavy from eating so much earlier. "No thanks, I'm not hungry. How long did I sleep for?"

She looked at the clock above the stove and turned to me. "Well you fell asleep around 4 and its 9 o'clock now, so I'd say about five hours."

I groaned realizing that I wouldn't be able to fall asleep again until late tonight, and I wanted to sleep, sleeping was easier. Because if I stayed awake I would have to face him and I wasn't ready for that yet.

"How you feeling kiddo? Alice told me you weren't feeling good after school." Charlie said while eating an Italian sub. I looked over to Alice and gave her a small smile for that excuse to give Charlie.

"I'm feeling a little better. Sorry I fell asleep for so long Al." I said and turned to get a glass of water.

She shrugged her shoulders. "Don't worry about it, you needed some rest."

Suddenly the phone ringed and Alice groaned. "Ughh not again!"

Charlie just laughed. "The boy is just worried about her that's all, give him a break."

I looked confusingly at the both of them waiting for them to explain. Alice put a finger up in the air telling me she would in a minute and answered the phone.

"Hello?" She was silent, listening to the caller. "She's still sleeping! I told you I would call when she woke up five minutes ago! Now stop calling here!" With that she hung the phone up and gave aggravated grunt.

Charlie spoke up. "She's not sleeping anymore. Why did you lie to the boy and not tell him he could come over now?"

Alice was about to answer when I coughed letting her know I was waiting for my explanation. "Edward had been calling to check up on you…quite frequently actually." I nodded my head knowing that this was just going to be harder.

He didn't know what was wrong and was just being a concerned friend. I had no right to be mad at him, and I wasn't…I was just broken and I couldn't see him right now because I knew the sight of him would break me further.

I just needed to recoup and put my shields up as much as I could in front of him because I didn't want to make him feel guilty about hurting me, especially since he didn't know that he was. It was only Friday night however and the incident had taken place just that afternoon so I still felt weak. I missed him so much but the pain was too strong right now to handle and I needed to gain back whatever strength I could for him. He was my best friend and I owed him that at least.

I would try to be the old Bella but I knew things would be different. For right now I couldn't have him in my bed with me anymore. He was like a drug that I needed to kick because when he was there in the moment, the high was unbelievable. I knew I would be in a extreme euphoria, but when he left or went back to her… that low would hit me and crimple me over and over and I didn't want to do that to myself.

I had been doing that for far too long as it was but at least then my lows had clung to the hope that he loved me. Now that hope was gone and the sad and ugly truth replaced it.

Alice remained quiet, probably thinking that I was about to have a breakdown and Charlie just looked on confused.

I was looking at the floor thinking about what laid ahead of me. I needed help because it wasn't going to be easy. "Alice…" I said picking up my eyes to meet her own. "I'm going to need help with this."

She nodded and took my hand pulling me out of the room so we could talk out of Charlie's hearing range. We walked up to my room and sat down on the floor.

"What can I do?" She asked showing that she would help me in any way she could.

"I…I can't see him for a while, and he's not going to understand….I just don't want to hurt him." I whispered in sadness.

Alice scoffed. "I love him because he's family but why are you being so sympathetic to him? I have never seen you so hurt before and he's the cause of it!" She was getting frustrated but I needed her to understand.

"Alice it isn't his fault that I am hurting. He didn't make me fall in love with him and he has the right to love whoever he wants, so he shouldn't be punished for it. He's so important to me still and I want to be there for him like I always am but I need time to heal and bury this side of me that's deeply in love with him because if I can't then I wouldn't be able to be near him without being in pain." Who was I kidding…it wasn't just a side of me in love with him--it was all of me.

She let out what sounded like a defeated sigh. "Alright well, I'll try to help you avoid him as much as I can but I have a feeling that this is going to be difficult, he's so damn stubborn and he isn't going to like you avoiding him."

I chuckled weakly. "Believe me I know.."

Alice clapped her hands on her thighs and stood to leave. "Alright well I guess we start tomorrow then. I'll tell him you woke up for a second to get a drink and then went right back to sleep so you should be in the clear for the night. But I'll have to start thinking about some good excuses because he's not buying the feminine issues anymore either."

I laughed a little and then realized that I wasn't exactly "clear" for the night like Alice said. Edward slept in my room, even worse…in my bed….every night with me and was probably waiting for Alice to come home so he could sneak on up through my window.

The anxiety must have shown on my face because Alice was looking at me cautiously. "What's the matter?" She asked.

I was debating what I should tell her the whole truth about Edward and I. She knew how close we were but she didn't know that he had been sleeping in my room since we were eight and the past month upgrading to snuggling up in bed with me. I thought that telling Alice would make the situation ten times worst because Alice would just get angry at Edward for "leading me on" or something like that when in actuality I think that he slept with me because I gave him a certain type of peace and comfort that no one else could.

No one would ever understand it and would just assume that we must be having sex or something. Alice had assumed I would have sex with James after inviting him over for dinner! I don't even want to think about what she'd say if she knew I invited her brother into my bed each night. Another reason though that I wanted to keep it a secret was because it was between Edward and I. I knew it would just hurt me in the end but I just wanted to have that little something between us, something about our relationship that only him and I knew about.

I couldn't close my window on him though because I wasn't selfish enough to take away the comfort I had been providing for him since he moved in with the Cullens. He never had missed a night before and if I had slept over his house he would always some how fall asleep on Alice's floor next to me or in the family room if that was where everyone was sleeping. So no--I wouldn't end that arrangement between us--but he couldn't sleep in my bed with me anymore.

As I said that to myself my body screamed at me and I felt that pull to not give up his warmth, smell, touch, and embrace that I had been getting night after night but I needed to…it would be too much to handle now. Things just had to go back to the way they were. I would be by his side whenever he needed me but I had to protect myself and grow that shield to try and block out those strong emotions that I receive just at the mere sight of him.

As I was thinking to myself about what to tell Alice, she was getting frustrated that I wasn't answering her. How could I avoid him tonight without hurting his feelings? I could pretend to be asleep and hopefully he would sneak back out by the time I woke up. But there was a problem in this because I knew that if I was pretending to be asleep when he came to my room tonight, he would simply pull over my blanket and scoot in next to me. He had done it before so why would he stop now.

The fear of getting my "illness" or what he believed was my issue today would not hinder him into climbing into bed with me, I was positive of that. He use to drink out of the same water bottle as me even if I had a cold.

I'll never forget the time when we were eleven and I had some how contracted mono…._I was laying down on the couch with a blanket wrapped around me trying to get comfortable. I had just returned home from a doctor's appointment and the doctor had said from the physical signs of my enlarged spleen and glands, as well as my constant exhaustion, it looked like the diagnosis was mono. My blood test results later that day confirmed it and I was told to stay out of school for a few days to rest. Being a naïve child and not really knowing exactly what mono was, I exaggerated the illness to an extent. _

_When Alice called the house to find out what the doctor said I told her I had a very serious sickness that caused a person to sleep forever and made my spleen swell up which could result in death if it exploded. _I suppose I exaggerated everything just to make it seem more interesting_. I snickered when Alice gasped on the phone and I knew the whole school would hear about it tomorrow. Edward had been out for the day with Carlisle and Emmett so I had planned on telling him later how a few pills and some sleep should take care of everything. I didn't know Alice would call Edward while he was on his day trip with his brother and Dad and tell him in even worse overblown details about my life threatening illness. _

_An hour went by and I must have dozed off because next thing I knew I was awoken when a very distraught and panicked looking eleven year old boy threw my front door open. Edward looked around the house frantically until he found me on the couch--he running over to me and hugging me tight. "Bella is it true?" He said with his voice cracking towards the end. _

_His embrace was so tight I just squeaked out my confusion. "Is what true?" _

_He pulled away but held my face. "That….that you are sick.." He asked in a shaky voice. _Now at the time I didn't know that Alice had told him everything I had said. _"Yeah I have mono unfortunately." I said like it wasn't a big deal, because in reality it wasn't. _

_He closed his eyes tightly and didn't let go of my face. I saw a single tear escape down his cheek and stared in shock. I really didn't understand why he would become so emotional about a little illness that I would be over in a week's time. _

_I opened my mouth reassure him- "Edward its ok-" -but I was cut off by what would be my first kiss that I had ever received. His lips met mine hard and forcefully. My eyes widened in surprise while his remained closed. When he pulled away and opened his eyes I didn't know what to say. I was only eleven after all and had just been kissed by my neighbor best friend. _

"_What was that for?" I asked still shocked. _

_He dropped his eyes to his lap. "When Alice told me about how you had mono I asked Carlilse how to catch it and he joked and said it was the kissing disease….you catch it by kissing…." I stared at him trying to understand why he kissed me then and that's when it hit me…he was trying to get sick too. _

"_Why are you trying to get my sickness Edward?"_

_He looked up now with his sad little green eyes. "Bella, I go where you go…and if this sickness is taking you away from me…while then it's taking me too." _

_I was still confused by his words and wondered exactly where he thought I was going, until finally I realized that he meant death. He wanted to die if I did. _

"_EDWARD! Don't you dare talk like that! And I'm not going to die you idiot! I just have to take some medicine and rest and I'll be fine. It's not serious at all." _

_His eyes lit up and he hugged me again realizing that I wasn't going to perish from mono after all. Edward ended up getting mono with me surprisingly like he had wanted and he seemed cheerful about it. We didn't talk about the kiss because it was a means to get something, not a symbol of love, but I'll always remember it…_

"BELLA!! Hello?!! I'm waiting for your answer! What are you nervous about?" Alice's voice pulled me from my reminiscence and I realized I never answered her.

"Oh yeah sorry about that…. Do you think that I can sleep over your house tonight?"

She stared at me baffled. "I thought you said that you wanted to avoid Edward. How would sleeping down the hall from him help that?" _Because he won't expect me to leave my house if I'm sick so if he thinks I'm home that's where he will look._ Besides I would take some Tylenol PM so I could go to sleep at a decent hour. I never do this but I slept to much today and was afraid that I wouldn't be able to get to sleep.

"Just sneak me in and he will have no idea I'm there." She still looked like she didn't understand.

"Listen Alice, you don't know what he will do if I sleep here. I'll wake up to him hovering over me to check to make sure I'm still breathing. You know how protective he gets."

She nodded knowing exactly what I was talking about. The death of his parents had really impacted him when he was younger and shaped him to be very concerning and anxious about the safety of his loved ones. He really couldn't handle losing anyone else.

"He is going to think something is up when he comes over your house and you aren't sleeping in your bed though you know." She said stating a point.

"I know, but there's nothing I can do about that. He'll probably want to face me in the morning so that's why we are going to wake up early before he does and sneak out for the day." Alice's eyes lit up and her face erupted into a giant grin.

"Really! Where are we going?" She asked eagerly.

"I don't know, anywhere you want, my treat. We just need to avoid this general area."

"Ok we are going shopping then. Who's car are we taking?" She asked excitedly. I had to hold in my groan at the idea of shopping but thought that she deserved my cooperation for helping me.

"I'll take my red truck, I haven't driven it in a while." Alice grimaced but didn't say anything. I knew that she didn't like driving around in my old heap of a truck but she didn't want to make me feel bad.

"Ok, but my birthday is coming up and I have a feeling that I'm getting a car, so when I do, I'm doing the driving from now on."

"Alright, Alright, you have a deal." I said shaking her hand.

I quickly ran to my dresser and pulled out some essentials and then went quickly to the bathroom to get some toiletries. When I went downstairs Alice was talking Charlie into letting me sleep over. She really didn't have to do that much persuading because Charlie trusted and treated Alice like she was his other daughter.

He was just only concerned about me getting better from my "illness". I assured him I was feeling fine and he knew I would only be next door so he agreed. Alice and I quietly made our way to her house, walking around back to enter through the back door leading into the kitchen.

The house seemed pretty quiet and empty when we entered. The only signs of inhabitants was the opened bread bag and lunch meats on the table that Emmett had probably left. It was only ten o'clock so I knew that Esme and Carlisle were probably awake watching TV together in their bedroom and Emmett was probably upstairs playing call of duty if he was staying in tonight.

The only person who I was worried about running into was Edward, but so far the coast was clear. We headed up the stairs towards Alice's room and passed by Edward's closed door. The only sound coming inside was the low sound of music.

I tiptoed along to Alice's room and quietly closed the door once we made it into safe territory. Alice handed me a few extra pillows and blankets she had in the closet and I made myself a nice little bed on the floor.

Alice went and brushed her teeth as I laid down getting ready to go to sleep, the Tylenol Pm starting to make my drowsy. I wanted to wake up early to get out of Forks so I wouldn't have to face him. Just when Alice came back and closed her door, a knock sounded on the other side. My body froze up hoping it wasn't the person that I did not want to see. I knew though that whoever it was would not be able to see from this angle from the door unless they entered the room.

Alice opened the door as small as possible, revealing the least she could of her room.

"Oh, hey I just wanted to see if you were back." Sounded the voice from the hallway, immediately making my heart clench.

"Yup, I'm back" Alice said a little tartly. Edward seemed to not notice it however.

"So how is Bella doing? Did she wake up?" He seemed a little anxious.

"Yes she woke up for a little but she was really tired so she went back to sleep. She's fine though you don't have to worry." Alice reassured him.

"Did you tell her I called when she woke up?" He asked, seeming a little irritated now.

"Yes, I didn't forget since you made that impossible by calling every five minutes!" Alice fumed.

"Well if you didn't forget then why didn't Bella call me?" He challenged.

"She was only awake for a little and she didn't feel like talking I guess."

I didn't hear anything for a minute and I knew that Edward was probably thinking about why I didn't call to tell him I was fine. I always did and it wasn't like me not to talk to him if I had a problem. He would have to get use to this though because that's how things were going to be from now on.

"Ok.. Well that's all I wanted to know, so good night." He said in a low voice.

"Yeah night." Alice said before she closed the door.

"He acted weird." Alice stated as she turned off the lights and flopped onto her bed.

I didn't say anything but stared up at the plain white ceiling above. Edward was probably climbing through my window, discovering my absence now…..

* * *

I woke up early in the morning on impulse, subconsciously knowing that I should go home and get ready before Alice and I leave for the day. I had to let Charlie know as well that I would be gone.

Alice was still sound asleep in her bed so I folded up my blankets on the floor and took my bag of toiletries that I had brought. It was more reasonable to just shower here but I didn't want to take the chance of running into Edward like my last shower encounter the night of formal. I had to push that memory and that night to the back of my head because the stingy ache to my heart when I thought about it hurt.

I slowly made my way over to the door and opened it quietly so that I wouldn't make a sound. It was six o'clock in the morning so it was still dark outside. As I opened the door I came face to face with the one person I was avoiding.

He was sitting in the hallway with his back up against the wall just outside of Alice's door--fast asleep. Edward's arms were crossed and his head hung down and off to the side in an uncomfortable position. I knew that he would probably have a sore neck after a night sleep like that. Why was he outside Alice' door sleeping in the hallway when his room and comfortable bed was just a door away? He must be catching on.

His facial features were so gentle looking in his sleepy state, and his hair was messy and unruly, looking like the way it did when he would run his fingers through it repeatedly when anxious or nervous about something. I didn't like the way he was uncomfortably sleeping. Hopefully he had just came outside Alice's room in the morning to catch me and had accidentally fell asleep. I stood and watched him for a minute longer until it became too much and I had to go home. I snuck into my house and Charlie was surprisingly up, drinking a coffee, and reading the paper. He was always an early riser.

"Bells? What are you doing home so early?" He inquired when he saw me enter through the back door.

"I just wanted to come home and get ready because Alice and I are going out for the day and we are leaving early."

"Alright well, just call to check in and tell me what time you'll be home if you are staying out late."

"Alright thanks Dad." I intended to stay out as late as he would allow.

I hurried up the stairs and immediately took my clothes off to throw in the hamper and grabbed a towel and headed to the bathroom. I took a quick shower and walked back to my room with my towel wrapped tightly around me. I opened my door quickly and shut it, not really paying any particular attention to anything until I raised my eyes and saw Edward standing in the middle of my room with a forlorn expression on him face. He was in the same clothes that I had seen him sleeping in outside of Alice's room, meaning when he woke up he must have came right over when he saw I left his house.

We stood there staring at each other until he broke the silence. "What's going on?" He said in an aggravated tone.

My mind was blank, just looking at him and hearing him speak to me, forgetting for a moment the events that had happened the day before. But now the pain came seeping back and I knew that I had to start building my shield up and I had to start now. I couldn't look at him in the face though and pretend that everything was ok so I turned and got the hairbrush off of my dresser and began to brush out my wet tangles, facing away from him.

"Nothing is going on. I don't know what your talking about." I said in an even tone.

"I'm not stupid Bella. After I dropped you off at school yesterday, you have been avoiding me like the walking plague." His voice sounded bitter and frustrated.

"I wasn't avoiding you Edward, I started to not feel well in school and Alice took me home." I still had my back to him and was still unwilling to turn to meet his eyes because the second I did I knew that Edward would know that I was lying. He knew me better then anyone else did and sometimes could pick up on my feelings before I could. Suddenly I felt his body closely behind me and his hot breathe breathing on the back of my neck making me shiver and the hairs on my arms raise.

The familiar electric current that I felt whenever he was near coursed through my body and I needed to get away fast. My body however was betraying my mind, keeping me in a paralyzed state.

"That's bullshit Bella…" he whispered into the back of my neck, feeling him at an even closer prominently then before.

"You were avoiding me… I know it because you didn't come to me when you needed help like you usually do…you went to Alice….and then you avoided seeing me at your house when I stopped over….you didn't even tell me that you were sleeping over my house in Alice's room…I had to find that out on my own."

Suddenly I began a little angry that he was paying so much attention to my whereabouts and obviously spying on me. I turned around now feeling brave and deviant.

The image of Victoria and him kissing flashed in my head which increased my anger at his obsessive concern for me. I hadn't seemed to be a concern for him yesterday when he had his tongue jammed down Victoria throat.

"What do you mean-"Had to find out on my own"? Did you spy on me when I was sleeping in Alice's room?" I said in a irate tone.

His face was at a closer to mine than I had thought. He had a look in his eyes that I couldn't quite decipher but he didn't step away from me and distance himself, he kept his face and body closely to mine.

"I wouldn't of had to if you had at least called to tell me you were fine." He said sharply.

"You aren't my father. I don't have to tell you anything." I said in an equally angry voice.

His eyes narrowed at me and he finally stepped back a step, suddenly looking almost suspiciously at me. "Were you avoiding me because you didn't want to have the talk with me that I wanted us to have after school yesterday?"

I looked at him bewildered about what he was talking about then remembering our last conversation. He had wanted to tell me something and I suspected what that was… he wanted to tell me about his relationship with Victoria finally. The memory brought back the pain of yesterday and I had to look away from him so he wouldn't see the sadness in my eyes.

"No that had nothing to do with it." I said as I turned around to get clothes out of my dresser, since I was still wrapper in only a towel.

"Don't lie to me Bella." Edward said as he quickly moved in front of me so that I was face to face with him again and couldn't look away.

"Move out of the way Edward." I said annoying.

"No, not until you tell me the truth." He replied sternly.

"I just did now move!" I said as I started to try and get around him. He stubbornly crossed his arms and wouldn't budge. I didn't know what to do and I could feel the safety of my shield slipping, know that at any minute I would break in front of him. I had to find a way out and I had to find it fast. I chose the quickest one that I could think of but also a cheap shot as well.

"CHARLIE!!!!!" I yelled as loud as I could. Edward's eyes widened in shock and his gaped at me.

"Shh! Why would you--" he asked frantically with hurt and frustration on his face. But I cut him off again. "CHARLIE!!!" I screamed even louder than before.

Edward quickly covered his hand over my mouth, knowing that he would have to leave the room when Charlie came up and our conversation would be over--leaving him just as answer-less as he had been.

I didn't need to scream a third time however because I heard Charlie's hurried footsteps downstairs. "Bells? What's wrong?" Charlie called up.

Edward gritted his teeth at me and quickly ran to the window, opening it and stepping out, not before shooting me a narrowed and angry glare. Charlie bounded into the room a few seconds later.

"What's the wrong!?" He asked out of breath. I felt bad that I probably scared him since I usually didn't call out like that for him ever.

"I thought I saw a huge spider.." Was the only thing I could come up with at the moment.

He looked at me agitatedly. "Bells don't yell like that unless it is a real emergency. You almost gave me a heart attack."

Now I did feel bad about it. I didn't like worrying Charlie like that. It was a cheap way to get away from Edward but I was desperate at the time.

"I'm sorry I won't do that again." He just nodded and left my room. I quickly picked out a change of clothes and ran to the bathroom, just in case Edward came back. I avoided going back into my room and called Alice's phone to see if she was ready. She said she would meet me outside in a few minutes so I made my way to my truck to wait for her.

As I walked to the truck I saw Edward sitting on his porch. When he saw me he stood and headed over to me.

"What the hell was that?" He said furiously as he approached.

"Just leave me alone Edward. I'm not in the mood to talk right now." I said as I scurried into my truck and waiting for Alice. I made sure to look straight ahead. He stood outside my open driver's door window, still relentless to end the conversation.

He put his hands in his hair and seemed to be pulling at it is frustration. "What the hell is going on Bella! You won't tell me anything. I don't know why you are acting this way."

"You didn't do anything, but please just go." I said still looking ahead and trying with all my power to keep my face blank and hold my shield up. It was getting harder by the second.

"Where are you going?" He asked quickly, as if it just became apparent to him that I was sitting in the drivers seat of my truck.

"Alice and I are going out for the day…just the two of us." I added at the end so that he would get the hint that he wasn't invited. He was silent and I almost looked to see if he had left the side of the car.

"So are you going to lock your window on me tonight too?" He asked in a small voice that made my heart break. I couldn't bear it when he sounded like that so I unwillingly turned to look at him.

"I'll never lock my window on you, you'll always have a place to sleep." I said in a soft reassuring voice to try to raise his spirits. His face softened and his furrowed brows started to relax.

I knew though what I had to say next would agitate him again but I had to get it out of the way. "If I'm not back in time tonight, the pillow and blanket are in my closet for you to make your bed on the floor."

At my words the furrow came back to his face he looked confused again. "You want me to sleep on the floor?" He asked, the sound of hurt back in his voice. I just nodded my head and looked straight again.

"Why might I ask?" He said annoyed again with a little bit of anger laced in.

I took a deep breathe and pulled the shield tightly to me so I could be strong, because my next words were going to sting. "I just think that we shouldn't sleep in the same bed together, its weird… You wouldn't sleep in Alice's bed would you?" I added sarcastically.

The stab of my words hit me hard and I almost choked up at the end. Edward was silent and I was about to break again. How could I have said that to him? Argghh it was for the best… I needed to distance myself. Its too painful to have him hold me in his arms every night. Alice thankfully opened my passenger side door at that exact moment and climbed in.

"Alright! Lets get a move on." She said enthusiastically. I swallowed the lump in my throat and blinked back my tears as I turned the ignition and backed out of the drive way. I saw his body still standing there in my peripheral vision but I couldn't look at him directly. My eyes betrayed me however and I stole a glance at him in my rear view mirror as I drove away. He was still just standing there motionless watching me drive my truck down the road. He looked almost broken or defeated. I diverted my misty tear filled eyes back to the road.

"What happened to Edward? He looks as if someone told him that someone died." Alice commented.

I just shrugged and quickly wiped my eyes so that Alice wouldn't see the tears I couldn't hold in.

The whole day was like a blur to me. I went through the motions but I was so drained and exhausted that I couldn't really give Alice the enthusiasm that she deserved. I think she understood though and didn't pry or ask to talk about it. She might have even liked my subdued nature because I didn't object to the clothes she threw at me to try on, or whine about getting our nails done, or say anything to her about making us appointments for full body waxes. I wasn't complaining or excited…I just a void. There was no other way to put it. Almost like my body was a robot going through the motions.

I even liked the waxing because it made me feel something, even if it was pain. We spent the whole day going all over Seattle. When we finally made it back home is was close to two am and I was exhausted. I trudged into the house and found Charlie snoring soundly on the couch with the TV on. I clicked it off and threw a blanket over him and made my way upstairs.

I avoided my closed room door dreading to have to see him if he was there but also praying silently hat he would still come. The opposing emotions confused and tormented me. I took my time in the bathroom washing my face and brushing my teeth. Luckily I had a pair of pajamas to put on in there. When I finally made it to my door I took a deep breath and slowly cracked it open. The night light in the hallway that Charlie bought to make sure I didn't injure myself in the dark, shone into the room ever so slightly when I cracked open the door.

When I opened it further I saw his body laying on the floor, blanket draped over him and facing the window so that I couldn't see his face. I entered in silently and closed the door to the now dark room with only the light from the street lamps outside filtering in through the window. Everything was silent except for Edward's even breathing.

I looked down at him and so badly wanted to wrap my arms around him and nuzzle my face into his chest, soaking in his warm delicious smell that no other person had. I made my way over to my bed however knowing that I could not act on impulse and laid down in bed. It felt empty and cold, as if something was missing from it. Because there was something missing….him. Needless to say that night was one of the worst nights sleep I had ever had.

* * *

From that time on Edward and I were standoffish with one another. He always appeared to be somber and distant and I was the same way. I just went through the motions. Wake up, school, home, homework, dinner, sleep…repeat cycle. The only time that there was a change in this was when Alice and sometimes even Emmett would come over to see me and make me laugh.

Once in a while in school I would feel his eyes on me, that little tingly feeling on the back of my neck letting me know he was close. When I would turn to meet his eyes however, I would never find them.

I had even forgotten about the whole James disaster until Alice had mentioned one day how she never saw him near me anymore. I hadn't really been paying attention but it was true, he acted indifferent to me now after what happened at Winter Formal. I honestly didn't care at all. One less thing to worry about or deal with.

It was already March now and the past month had gone by in a blur. I didn't even remember that much about it. The days seemed to blend together since it was such a consistent routine- the same routine, day after day after day. I did not go to lunch anymore and opted instead to have a free period in the library. Alice would join me on some days to keep me company but I understood that I was a downer.

One Wednesday afternoon Alice slammed her books on the table to break me from my blank trance I had entered while staring at my homework.

"BELLA! Enough already!" She yelled.

I looked up confused and startled. "Huh?"

"I want my friend back! Is she even in there?" She asked aggravatingly.

"I don't know what you mean." I replied even though I did.

"Do you even know what is in three days?" She asked while staring at me intently.

I stared back at her at loss for words trying to figure out exactly what she was referring too. "Umm it's a Saturday…March 28th I think?" I said.

She looked down at the table then and whispered in a hurt tone. "See… its not you anymore…the old Bella would have remembered her best friend's birthday…"

My eyes widened in shock and a wave of guilt hit me full force from the look on Alice face. I was such a bad friend. She had been there countless times for me and I couldn't even remember he freaking birthday. "Oh my God Alice I am so so sorry." I said with as much remorse as I could.

"It's okk.." She said looking away still visibly hurt.

I suddenly knew that even though I wasn't myself anymore I couldn't keep hurting others like this. Alice needed me as a friend too and I could not just shut out everyone because of my own issues.

"Alice let me make it up to you. I swear anything you want you got it." She turned her eyes back to me and a small smile started to creep up onto her lips. "Anything?" she asked hopefully.

"Yes Anything" I agreed, trying to make it up to her.

"Ok well then I want you to come with me to Mike Newton's house party this Friday night for my birthday. That's what I want to do and I want you there too."

I groaned internally at that. I hated these parties. I never actually went to one, only showed up at the end them with Edward to pick up Emmett or Alice sometimes. I really, really did not want to go, but Alice looked so excited at the thought of me going. It was her birthday after all and I needed to make it up to her for forgetting.

"Ok yes, I'll go". Alice squealed and then immediately started planning our outfits for the night.

Of course the day of the party came fast and just like Alice had suspected she woke up that birthday morning with a new sparkly white Volkswagen beetle. She insisted on driving me to around town all day. Emmett joined us for part of it but Edward however stayed home, just wanting to be by himself.

It wasn't exactly how I had planned our relationship to be now. I knew I had to distance myself a little bit but I never expected him to do the same. If I ever would make eye contact with him he would look away quickly. I even stopped going over the Cullens as much as I use to only choosing times when the silver Volvo was missing from the driveway to go hangout with Alice or say hello to Esme. Both of his parents knew that something was wrong between us when I would come over for dinner and Edward would look down at his plate the whole time, ignoring the conversation around him and remaining silent. He then would go up to his room early and stay in there for the remainder of the time I was over. Even with his avoidance of me, he still came into my room each night without saying a word and slept on my floor facing away from me.

The smell of new car filled my nose and my eyes looked out at the blurring green shapes passing by. I wondered if Edward was going to this party tonight too.

"Hey Al is Emmett and Edward going tonight?" I asked trying to sound indifferent.

"Um yeah I think they are actually. Edward is going to be the DD I think." That caught me off guard.

"Wait? We are all going together?" I asked nervously. Edwards behavior now made me very uncomfortable because I felt as if I myself made him very uncomfortable.

"Well yeah why wouldn't we?" Alice asked as if it was a no brainer. I just shrugged pretending that I didn't care.

"So you should come over for my birthday dinner at like 6ish and we will leave for Mike's at 8."

I just nodded knowing that I couldn't back out of her dinner. When I suggested that it should maybe just be family Alice became very angry and said that I was family.

As we drove home through town I suddenly realized that I had to get something before going home. As embarrassing as it was, it was just convenient to stop since Alice was going to pass it anyway.

"Hey Alice could you just stop at the pharmacy real quick." She looked at me curiously waiting for an explanation.

"I need to just get a prescription refilled." I quickly mumbled under my breathe.

Alice pulled into the pharmacy parking lot and waited for me to continue. I ignored her eyes and just ran in there fast coming out with a brown paper bag under my arm. Unfortunately as I sat down in the car, Alice quick hands snatched it from me and peaked inside while I fought to grab it back.

Her wide eyes looked up at me after seeing what was inside. "OH MY GOD BELLA! You're having sex!"

Of course seeing my prescription for birth control would make her assume right anyway that that is what it was for but in reality it was prescribed by my dermatologist to clear up my skin when I started to breakout randomly junior year.

"Its not what you think its for. I have it for my skin." She laughed at that and I didn't get the joke but I ignored it. I had only been on it for about a year now and my skin was crystal clear.

When Alice came over we threw our stuff down on the bed and I jumped in the shower. She helped pick out an outfit for me before heading home herself.

It was a mild temperature that night so I chose to wear jeans and a long thin v-neck shirt in midnight blue.

* * *

When I made it over to the Cullens, Esme was making her famous lasagna and a birthday cake was sitting on the counter. I talked to her for a few minutes and then headed up to Alice's room before dinner.

As I rounded the corner, I collided with something fast and hard. An "Omphff" sound escaped my lips and I began falling back until two strong arms encircled my waist and pulled me in. I slowly tilted my eyes up, already knowing exactly who it was that I had collided with. I knew the feeling of his embrace better than anyone's.

"Bella….." he breathed as he stared down at me. I was flustered by the look on his face and the fact that he acknowledged me. I was still in his arms breathing, almost panting heavily from the shock of running into him and being so close to his body again-- it had been too long. His eyes were so warm and inviting, and he looked so relaxed and content, like my old Edward.

My hands were against his chest and before I could even think about what I was doing I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and pulled him down into the tightest hug I could give him, wanting to be as close to him as possible and never wanting to let go.

He responded by pulling me in tighter against him as if he missed my embrace as much as I missed his. Then all too soon his grasp loosed until his arms slipped from my back to his sides. I stepped back and walked quickly past him to get to Alice's room. I look to see his face and kept my head down, knowing that he was back to his distant self again and my Edward was locked back up inside.

Later when dinner started, Edward kept his eyes down at his plate forking around his food. I watched him intently because I desperately wanted to see my Edward, like I had in the hallway. I didn't realize how much I missed our old relationship even though I had wanted more, it was better then the way things were with him now.

"So what time will you kids be home at?" Esme asked no one in particular.

"I don't know, not too late though, Bella told Charlie she would be home before 2 am." Alice answered nonchantly, while Esme just nodded in return. The Cullen children didn't really have a curfew since Esme believed her children stayed out of trouble. Charlie was more suspicious of teenage activities.

"Wait. Bella is going to the party?" Edward suddenly asked looking up from his plate at Alice. This was the first time during dinner he had spoken and he acted as if I wasn't even there. Everyone turned to look at the boy who finally spoken, as if he had been mute his whole life.

"Yes of course she is." Alice said straightforwardly.

Edward pursed his lips and slightly shook his head. "But she doesn't like these kinds of parties."

Esme and Carlisle both looked around at us very interested now. "What kind of party is this exactly?" Esme asked.

Alice shot Edward a warning glance telling him to keep his mouth shut and Emmett coughed. Edward seemed at loss for words realizing he almost just slipped and now his parents were suspicious.

"He means just parties in general. I'm not too fond of them, but its Alice's birthday so I am sucking it up for the night." I replied quickly trying to help the situation. The Cullen parents seemed to be satisfied with my response and went on to talking about other things.

I tried to glare at Edward to let him know I didn't appreciate him talking about me as if I wasn't there but he wouldn't meet my eyes.

Edward drove to the party and I sat in the back with Alice. Once in a while I would catch his eyes in the rear view mirror watching me. For some odd reason I felt as if he was calculating me, trying to figure me out as if I was a math problem he was trying to solve.

When the car pulled up in front of Mike's house, music was blaring from the inside and a few people were sitting on the front steps smoking cigarettes. We all filed out of the car and made our way to the house. Inside the house, the bodies of almost everyone in our grade were crammed together dancing and drinking.

I started to feel a little claustrophobic as we tried to squeeze our way through the crowd of people towards the kitchen where the keg and other drinks were situated. It felt like a sauna in there with all of the body heat in the little house. Emmett was leading the way through the crowd followed by Edward, me, and Alice.

As I was trying to move through the crowd and politely asking people to let me by, Edward's hand swung back and grabbed mine to help lead me on. He didn't once turn to look back at me, but sauntered on with a firm grip on my hand. Passing through the living room, I saw Mike the party host with his tongue crammed down some blonde's mouth. Hopefully for his sake his sloppy looking kiss was the affect of the alcohol, not his own skills.

When we finally made it into the kitchen, Emmett grabbed a cup and cut to the front of the keg line. No one dared to say anything to him though in fear and I couldn't help but smile knowing that on the inside he was just a big teddy bear. I looked up at Edward and saw him looking down at me with a blank expression. I suddenly remembered that we were still holding hands. My eyes traveled down to our enclosed hands and as I did this he let go of me quickly.

"So are you going to drink tonight." Edward asked me looking around the room as he said this, avoiding my eyes. His voice sounded cold and detached.

"Come on Edward, you know me too well to ask a question like that." He green eyes flickered to mine and a crooked smile adorned his face. Slowly he leaned in so I would hear him over the music. I felt his breathe on my ear and a chill ran through my body.

"Well than we should stick together since we will be the only sober ones here." I smiled up at him and was so happy to see my old Edward looking back at me.

Just as I was about to agree, a drunken mess of a girl came tumbling forward. "EDWAARDD!!" An intoxicated Victoria squealed. She threw herself around his neck and I turned away quickly, not wanting to see the them together since the pain was still there.

Alice waved me over to the island in the kitchen. She was pouring a concoction together.

"What's wrong Bella? You look miserable."

I was miserable, but I didn't want to put a damper on her birthday so I put on the best smile I could. "Nothing at all, just had a Victoria all over Edward sighting."

"Ew yuck, you need a drink then." Alice said in a disgusted scrunched up face that made me laugh.

"Oh no, I don't-" but I was cut off when Alice put a cup in my hands.

"Here drink my beer, I decided I want a fruity drink instead. It's a waste if you don't."

I looked down at the liquid in the cup, contemplating if maybe one drink wouldn't hurt. Who was I kidding, I didn't want it. I about to toss it when I saw Edward scowling at me from across the room.

What the heck did I do? He was the one that took my hand and wanted to "stick together" until Victoria came along. I should be the one pissed off. Screw that and screw you Edward Cullen. With that I brought the drink up to my lips, never breaking eye contact and took a sip. _Ew yuck, I did not like the taste at all_. I held my face composed however because I didn't want him to see my distain to it. Alice did a happy hand clap at my side and made a drink for herself.

When nobody was looking I dumped the beer in the sink and filled my cup with cranberry juice. _That's right…. straight cranberry juice because I'm a badass like that. _I chuckled quietly to myself. The rest of the time I mingled as best I could. It was honestly entertaining. People seemed to be braver and more outspoken when they had a few drinks in them.

Edward seemed to be always keeping an eye on me the whole time.

Whenever I met his eyes though, he gave me a condescending look when seeing the red cup in my hand. I was the only one who knew it was just plain juice and he probably assumed I was still drinking. Alice was having a good time and I hadn't seen Emmett in a while. The last time I saw him he had his arm draped around a pretty blonde.

The time seemed to be going by pretty fast and Alice was already pretty drunk. Being petite and drinking hard liquor seemed to affect her fast.. I cut her off by taking her drink and emptying it into the sink.

"Come on! One more Bella! Its my birthday! Don't be a party pooper!" Alice slurred and wobbled in her posture. When Alice begins to wobble, that's when you know she's had too much because she is the epitome of gracefulness. Another reason why its good I don't drink--my clumsiness when sober would be escalated to disastrous potential alcohol was involved.

"Alright, I'll make you a drink." It wasn't a lie entirely, I did make her a drink--I filled her cup with sprite. She probably couldn't tell the difference now anyway. When I turned back around to give it to her however, she was no where in sight. I craned my head up over the sea of people to look for her short brown hair but she was no where to be seen.

I slowly slid my way through the crowd to the little hallway off of the kitchen to check there. The only thing I found was an empty laundry room holding a tapped keg and a bathroom with a line of about ten people waiting outside. I asked if anyone had seen Alice but they all just shook their heads. When I turned around to search the rest of the house, I came face to face with icy blue eyes.

James was standing before me with a smug look on his face. "Hello Bella. Surprised to see you here."

I sneered at him and tried to look around his body in search of Alice. "Not now James, I'm looking for someone."

His eyes widened and his smile grew bigger. "Are you looking for Alice?"

This got my attention and I narrowed my eyes at him. "Yes…why? Do you know where she went?" Suddenly a new song came on and the volume in the house went up from the music and the drunk voices trying to talk over it. James leaned down so he could whisper in my ear. I wanted to step back because I was uncomfortable with him so close in my personal space but the bodies around us made it hard to do that.

"I saw her when I was upstairs just before. Come with me and I'll bring you to her."

This shocked me that he wasn't being his usual egotistical bastard self and was trying to be helpful. I'm sure the shock showed on my face when he pulled back and looked at me. I gave him a grateful smile and nodded.

He turned and started to guide us through the crowd. More people had definitely arrived since we first got here and it was even harder to navigate through to get to the stairs.

James grabbed my hand just like Edward had done at the beginning of the night except his touch wasn't welcomed or comforting. But he was bringing me to Alice so I just hung my hand limply in his while he tugged me forward, almost in a hurried sort of manner.

When we finally headed upstairs it was definitely less crowded. The only people I saw was a boy whispering into a girl's ear outside of the first door in the hallway.

"She is just through that door at the end there." James said with a smile, still holding my hand even though it wasn't necessary. I tugged my hand out of his and nodded.

We arrived at the door and James opened it to let me step in first. It was pitch black when I entered.

"Alice?" I called into the darkness. The door shut behind me and the lights flickered on. I observed my surroundings and saw that I was in a bedroom, with different posters of scantly clad women and centerfolds on the wall. This must be Mike's room. But on a more important observation, there was no Alice in here either. I turned to face James who was leaning against the door with a dark look in his eyes.

"What's going on James? I thought you said that Alice was here." I said, crossing my arms but starting to become nervous at the way he was looking at me, eyes roaming up and down my body, as if he was a predator sizing up his prey.

"I'm sure she's up here somewhere, you can deal with that later. We have more important business to attend to right now."

"No we do not. I don't have anything to say to you. Now please move so I can go find Alice."

James seemed to shake his head while he let out a chuckle. "Bella, Bella, Bella what am I going to do with you? I love your feisty little spirit but I think its time for you to move on from that now and surrender to me."

"Oh dear God not this again." I groaned.

"I played your little game Bella. First I let you play hard to get and when that didn't work out I pretended that you didn't exist, which you usually seem to go for considering how Edward never saw you like that but you clung to him like a starving orphan." That stung but I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of thinking he was affecting me in anyway.

"James move away from the door now." I said in the strongest voice I could muster.

"Like a said, I'm tired of playing. Tonight is the night Bella. I've been patient long enough."

"What you want me to sleep with you?!" I said almost gagging on my words and hoping that I thought wrong.

He simply nodded his head like it was an easy thing to do.

"I would never touch you and you will never get to touch me." I said and moved forward to try to get to the door. He moved in front of me staring down but not saying anything. The look in his eyes was one of lust and anger and stopped me in my tracks.

An instinctive fear began to creep up my spine warning me of danger and I gulp before speaking my next words.

"What? Are you going to rape me is that it?" I said trying to act bravely but knowing my voice quivered.

"I have never needed to force anything that I could get willing. You are no exception…. I'll just let you know though, you will either sleep with me right now, or you leave this room and everyone will think you did. Either way, people will think you did, so you might as well." I was relieved that he didn't intend to force himself on me but after letting his words set in, I knew he was threatening to ruin me if I didn't give him what he wanted.

"Are you threatening me?" I asked with my body beginning to shake with anger.

"I'm just telling you the truth Bella. People will believe what I say over what a plain socially retarded girl like yourself would say any day. I know this school Bella and people know that I always get what I want, and that's no going to change even if you don't sleep with me. I'll still tell everyone you did."

I took a deep breath to control myself from acting on the urge to strangle him.

I looked him straight in the eye and spoke in an even yet strong tone. "I could care less what you say or what other people think of me. Because I'll know the truth and I will still be able to look at myself in the mirror with respect knowing that I wasn't low enough to fall for a threat like that. Now…. Get the fuck out of my way."

He snarled at me but stepped aside and let me pass. I shook me head to get the anger away but I could still started to feel the tears forming in my eyes over the fear and anger I had just suppressed inside that room. I really wanted to leave even though I was safe now but still shaken up from the experience.

I had to find Alice though. I opened up a door to the left of me and turned on the lights to find a girl from my English class Samantha, half dress being fiercely kissed by a shirtless boy with blond hair. I recognized him as a boy named Erik from the gym class. They were so in the moment with each other that they didn't stop when I entered so I quickly turned the lights back off and shut the door continuing my search.

I tried another door and entered into a bathroom. There laying on the floor next to the toilet was Alice. I gave a sigh of relief and went to lift her up.

"Come on Alice" I said as I put my arms under hers and tried picking her up. She tried to stand up but started to fall sideways until I caught her.

"I don't feel so good." Alice said looking slightly green through closed eyes.

"I know. Why don't we get you home ok?"

She nodded her head and began to walk with me, while I carried half of her weight.

"You're my best friend Bella."

"I know Al, you're my best friend too." We started down the stairs taking one step at a time so Alice wouldn't fall.

She looked at me and started crying.

"Al whats wrong?"

"When am I going to find him?" She sniffled.

I started to laugh a little not really understanding what she was talking about. "Find who sweetie?"

"My soul mate. You found your soul mate. I'm afraid I'll never find mine."

"I didn't find my soul mate Al, and you will find yours. I bet he is looking for you too. Your still young so you don't have to worry about it right now. You have all the time in the world."

She sniffled again and wiped a tear. "Thanks Bell, you're my best friend. I know Edward is your best best friend but I'm your best girl that is a friend."

I laughed again. "Yes you are Al."

Luckily when I made it down the stairs Edward was leaning up against the wall looking down at his shoes. I nudged his shoulder and he turned to look at me. I was startled to see a look of agony on his face but it quickly flickered to one of annoyance. "What?" he said coldly.

"I think we should go now, Alice is pretty drunk." He looked over at his swaying sister and simply nodded before heading off to go collect Emmett. I led Alice outside and opened the back door to the Volvo and having her lie down. She spread across the back seat and looked like she was going to sleep.

I opened the front door and sat down to wait for Edward. He came out still looking down at the ground and slammed his door shut when he sat down in the driver's seat. Alice and I both jumped.

"Shh!!" Alice complained from the back seat.

"Where's Emmett?" I asked when Edward started the car.

"He staying." Was the only reply Edward gave, his knuckles tightly griping the steering wheel. I turned and looked out the passenger window the whole way home in awkward silence.

When we finally pulled up in front of our homes around 1 o'clock, I unbuckled myself and opened the door to help get Alice out. When I went to go open the back seat, Edward shot in front of me and growled. "I'll get her."

I just stood back to get out of his way.

"Come on Alice we're home." He spoke in a gentler tone.

Alice sat up and groaned. "Alright, alright." She said annoyingly. I smiled.

Edward went to go pick her up but she pushed back. "Did you kiss Bella goodnight?"

"What!" Edward and I yelled at the same time.

"I'm not going anywhere until you kiss Bella goodnight." Alice said stubbornly.

"Come on Alice you're drunk lets get you inside." Edward said again reaching out to help her up. She hit his arm away.

"Nope, not going anywhere until you kiss her good night." Edward let out a deep breath and turned towards me. He titled his head to the side to ask for permission and I nodded.

In one quick motion he gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and then turned to retrieve Alice.

"No no no" Alice shook her head. "Really kiss her like they do in movies."

Edward's jaw clenched. "Enough Alice lets go inside now before mom and dad wake up." Edward's tone made it clear that he was done playing games.

"You better hurry then because I might throw up again and your Volvo's backseat will be the victim of it." Alice replied smartly.

Edward's back straightened up quickly and mumbled a "fine" under his breath, turning to face me again. His eyes locked with mine and I couldn't even blink at the intensity in them. He took a slow step towards me and lifted a hand up to my face, gently pressing his palm on my cheek.

His eyes looked into mine searchingly and I stared back, standing perfectly still. Slowly he moved his face into mine never breaking eye contact until his forehead pressed against mine, and our noses touch. His eyes flickered shut, followed by mine.

"Is this ok?" he asked in a whisper, his warm breath hitting my lips.

"Yes" I trembled. With that his lips gently grazed mine. I stopped breathing at the feeling of his lips on mine and he slowly kissed again, taking his other hand and placing it on the other side of my face, while his thumbs gently stroked my cheeks. He took my bottom lip between his then and kissed it softly before slowly starting to pull away.

I was so dazed by him that I stood there motionless. I suddenly realized that it must seem like I wasn't into the kiss since I was standing with my hands at my sides and not kissing back, but I really was so happy and overwhelmed by it that I couldn't move.

When he started to leave my lips however my body reacted, not wanting it to end just yet, and I reached up and grabbed his head to bring his lips back down to me. His eye brows raised high when I pulled him back down but his hand lets my cheeks and encircled my waist to bring my body up against his.

I kissed him with as much passion as I could think but I still needed more of him. I stuck my tongue out slowly against his bottom lip begging for entrance and I heard him groan before parting his lips to allow me in.

Just as our tongues touched, there was a loud thud and Edward and I broke away from each other startled. Alice had fallen over onto the car floor and looking like she was passed out. Edward quickly walked over and scooped her up and as I shut the door.

He turned to walk to the house but stopped and looked over at me with a sparkle in his eyes. He opened his mouth looking like he was going to say something, but closed it.

"Good night Bella." He said slowly with his sexy crooked smile that I loved and had missed greatly. Then he turned and walked Alice into the house.

I stood staring at where he had just been and where he had given me the kiss that had taken the breath out of my lungs. Then the giddiest smile erupted onto my face and I literally skipped into my house.

When I closed the door, Charlie sat up on the couch. "Bells? That you?" He stood up and stretched.

Obviously he had been waiting for me to get home. "Dad what are you doing awake? I thought you had an early shift tomorrow."

He turned the TV off and walked towards me. "Yeah, I just wanted to make sure you got in alright."

I smile and gave him a hug goodnight, feeling in loving spirits tonight.

"You look happy, good night tonight?" He asked.

"Yeah one of the best." I said thinking about the kiss.

He went up stairs and I soon followed after making sure the lights were all out down stairs and everything was turned off.

I washed my face and changed into one of Edward's shirts and shorts needing the smell of him now to engulf me. I needed that memory of the kiss to stay with me, because that kiss over rid any of the pain I had felt. I thought I felt love in the way he had kissed me.

When I went back to my room he still hadn't shown up yet. I didn't want to lay in bed because if he came over he would make his bed and sleep on the floor and tonight I needed his arms around. I wanted him close. So I made his bed on the floor and laid down on it. I thought by doing this it would get my point across without me having to say it. I yawned deeply and knew I would fall asleep soon. I closed my eyes to picture the kiss…

I felt myself being lifted up in familiar arms and then placed on the softness of my bed. I opened my eyes slowly and saw Edward laying me down and then stepping away. I reached out and grabbed his arm. "Stay" I said in my sleepy voice.

He looked at my face and brushed a piece of hair behind my ear and whispered "Ok."

He spooned himself around me, pulling my back up against his chest and his face behind my hair. I thought I heard him take a big breath in and then sigh peacefully.

"How's Alice?" I asked groggily.

"She better now. She threw up again so I had to help her out, that's why I took so long." He breathed into my hair. "Oh and by the way, you are excellent with your liquor." He added.

"That's because I was drinking straight cranberry juice all night butt-head." I said playfully. He chuckled into my shoulder, bringing butterflies to my stomach.

"Sleep now little smartass Bella..." He whispered still laughing quietly . I fell asleep with a happy smile on my face.

* * *

The sound of a buzzing work me up and when I squinted my eyes there was morning light in the room. I heard a sleepy voice behind me. "Yeah? Alright, I'm on my way."

"Edward?" I called out, not fully awake yet and thinking maybe I was dreaming this.

"Shhh…go back to sleep, it was just Emmett calling me. I have to go pick him up. I'll come back though." He whispered.

I nodded and snuggled back into my blankets. I felt Edward kiss my head and leave the bed, which immediately felt colder, making my snuggle deeper into my pillow. Soon I was asleep again.

I only fell back asleep for another twenty minutes before I wanted to get up. I got up and stretched and went to the bathroom, making sure to brushed my teeth to get rid of morning breath. My hair was still decent from the night before and I splashed my face with water.

I thought I heard the door downstairs close over the running water and thought that maybe Edward was back. I smiled at the thought and patted my face dry.

Quickly I went out to of the bathroom and sprinted to my room. When I came through the door I was happy to see Edward's back standing by my bed. He was looking down at something in his hands.

I knew he heard me come in but he still didn't turn around and was just looking down at whatever he was holding.

"Edward?" I asked still with a giant grin on my face.

Slowly he turned around and I gasped when I saw his face.

He had a look of frenzied fury and worse…hatred entrenched on it. I had never seen him look at me like this before even when he was angry with me.

His livid glare looked at me as if he was disgusted in me and when I looked down at what he had in his hands, I saw my birth control pills. I was mortified that he had found them, remembering that I forgotten to put them away, but I was so confused as well.

Why would he be so angry about birth control pills?

"Its true isn't it!" He said in a spat, throwing my pills to the floor. I looked at him in utter confusion.

His hands were clenched into tight fists at his sides and his nostrils flared in anger. I was taken aback by him and not knowing what he was talking about.

"You fucked him didn't you!!" He snarled.

My eyes widened at the tone and language he used with me that Edward never used, not to attack me with anyway.

"What?" I was so confused. _What is he talking about?_

He put his hands in his hair, looking like he was going to pull it out.

"How could you do it Bella! Ah who are you anymore?" He growled frustratingly.

I was still so confused. "Edward I don't know wh--" and then it hit me. He thought I slept with James. James had kept to his threat of saying that I had slept with him.

Then I was angry, but not about James. I didn't give a shit what James said about me, but I did give a shit that my best friend in the whole entire world, who knew me better than anyone else, would believe him.

"Is that what you think of me?" I said in a hurt tone on the verge of tears but still angry as hell.

He looked at me menacingly. "DID YOU SLEEP WITH JAMES?!"

I was so angry now that he would even have to ask. "How could you even ask me something like that? You know me better than anyone!" I screamed.

His lip just curled in disgust and he still had fury in his eyes. "Because I don't know you anymore. You're not my Bella. My Bella would never fuck a scumbag guy like a whore."

His words felt like a punch in the gut and I slapped him across the face but he didn't even flinch. He didn't even look sorry for what he just said. He just stared at me in anger as I had tears about to spill over.

"If that's what you think of me and that's what you believe then I **hate **you Edward Cullen…because I don't know who you are anymore either." I thought I saw a flash of torment and sorrow on his face but then a blank slate washed over it, showing only the emotion of anger in his eyes.

"Then I you hate me now." Was all he said in a rigid tone before he left me standing alone in my room. I stood there not knowing what to do or understanding what just happened before I ran to the bathroom suddenly feeling nauseous and throwing up in the toilet. I could take Edward not loving me the way I loved him but I couldn't take an Edward that hated me… and that's what I had now. I had really lost him.

* * *

**Author's note:**

**I finally put a new chapter up. I know it took forever but I hope I made it up to you by making it so long. The longest chapter so far actually : ). Alright well I hope you enjoyed it and I'm working on the next one. Many things will be revealed. Reviews make me happy. Thanks guys!**

**P.S. sammy sams I hope you liked your shout out. You deserve a little time in the fan fiction world with your blonde viking haha.  
**


	11. Aftermath

**Disclaimer: All these characters belong to Stephanie Meyer.**

* * *

Bella's POV

Breathe Bella, Breathe… a sob escaped but lips but I shook it off. I. Can't. Do. This. Any. More.

I slowly stood up and walked across my room in determination. When I reached my goal I lifted my arms up slowly and pulled down…on the window. Closing him off, and locking him out. The was it, this was the end. Suddenly I heard footsteps on the stairs and when I turned around I saw an out of breath Alice standing in the doorway with Emmett close behind her.

"What is going on Bella!?"

I kept my face composed, I couldn't so this again. I was done of crying over him, done of heart ache, just done.

"Nothing. Why to you ask?"

"Nothing!! It's definitely not nothing. We have never seen Edward like this before."

"Emmett stepped in. "He punched a hole in the wall in his room."

"What happened between you two!" Alice added in.

I turned away from them now. "Nothing.. I don't want to talk about it."

Emmett stepped forward. "No Bella you have too, I have never seen him like this...something is wrong…different. Out my window I saw Edward's car was no longer in the drive way. He had gone off somewhere… I wanted to know but that wasn't my right anymore.

"He called me a whore."

Alice gasped. "Why would he do that!?"

"He's just mad you slept with James." Emmett added in a grumbled voice.

"WHAT!! Bella you slept with James!?" Alice shouted outstandingly.

Now I was furious again. I put my hands to my face and groaned in anger. "I am sick of people thinking that! Just leave, I don't want to see anyone."

They looked at me confused.

"So did you?" Emmett willed to say.

Now I roared. "NO!!! NOO I DIDN'T FUCKING SLEEP WITH HIM!!" I started to cry now. "I wouldn't…he cornered me at the party and threatened me to sleep with him or he would tell everyone I did if I didn't. But I didn't care, I would never let him touch me even if it ruined my reputation." I sniffled.

"What a little sleaze bag." Alice growled.

"I'll kick that little shits ass!" Emmett said equally angry.

"So did you tell Edward that you didn't?" Alice asked.

"I tried to but when I asked him if he thought I would do that he said he didn't know me anymore and that I was a whore. So… so I said that I hated him…." I whispered. Alice and Emmett both came over to me and hugged me between them.

"Edward is an idiot Bells don't worry about it. He was just angry, you both were, you don't mean it." I shrugged them both off.

"He's my best friend and if he truly thinks that then I do hate him!"

Emmett and Alice both looked sad again.

"You should talk to him and explain." Alice suggested.

"No! I am done with that. He can chose to believe whatever he wants. That's what killed me, when he said he didn't know me anymore. This whole time Alice, everything I did, everything was for him and now…now look at us. He thinks I'm a worthless whore."

"Its going to be ok Bells. This is you and Edward we are talking about. I know you guys had your ups and downs this year but nothing can tear you both apart. I don't think its possible." Alice chuckled.

"I thought that too…but I'm not so sure anymore. Listen guys can you go, I kind of want to be alone today." They nodded and tried to reassure me that everything would be fine but deep down I knew that it wouldn't. This time this fight felt different, this fight felt final.

* * *

Through Edward's eyes

They had an interesting year so far and there had definitely been a shift in their relationship. He was part to blame for that he thought. Maybe it was the fact that next year she could really be leaving him after twelve years of this companionship with each other, it could finally come to an end. He had loved her as more than just a friend for many years now but he had kept his emotions at bay, not willing to sacrifice what they had now if she did not return the sentiments. She was the most important thing to him. He was so thankful for everything that the Cullens had done for him. Carlisle had loved his father and had been best man in his parents wedding. Edward knew he was equally devastated when they had died.

Many people had thought that Edward wouldn't understand clearly the knowledge that his parents were gone forever but he was a smart six year old and knew that he would never see them again. He had waited up that night to say good night to his mother and father and even when the babysitter sent him to bed, he laid there waiting for his mother to come in and check on him like she always did, sometimes whispering loving words and promises of what tomorrow might bring.

When they had left for the party he had been outside playing in the backyard with some neighborhood kids so he didn't get a chance to say his goodbye. He felt guilty for that but he knew he would see them again, so that's why he waited up, to make it up to his mother and make sure to tell her good night.

Little did he know, he would never get the chance to speak with them again, so from that night on, he didn't speak to anyone. The six year old boy punished himself for not saying goodbye to them by making sure no one would ever hear him speak again.

When he moved in with the Cullens, the other two children acted strangely to him, almost scared of him in a way. The one boy named Emmett had attempted to get him to go outside but Edward had just sat there as if he couldn't hear the boy's voice and stared at the wall. He didn't want to have fun or be happy. He just wanted to be left alone.

Then one day a young girl around his age came over to the house. Edward had seen her once before when he was looking out the window. She sometimes would play with Alice but never liked to play the girly games that his adopted sister liked to play. The young girl tried to join in games with the other boys but was awkward and clumsy so it never worked to her advantage.

She had came over and sat next to him one day and spoke. Edward just stared forward knowing that pretty soon the little girl would leave like all the children and even adults had done, knowing it was pointless to try and get him to speak. This girl though, that introduced herself as Bella, persisted when everyone else gave up. She sensed how he didn't want to speak but she didn't leave either. She just sat with him in silence.

This was new for him because no one had ever done this but he didn't turn to her and look, maybe it was just a fluke he thought. The next days however were much like the same. If the little girl saw him she would come to sit over next to him, never speaking, just sitting there by him to keep him company. This was strange to Edward, and he wondered if maybe Bella was just as weird as he was. She would speak though however when spoken to by the Cullens or anyone that addressed her but she didn't speak to him, just sat with him.

Now he actually wanted her to speak to him, he wanted to know what she was thinking because it was driving him crazy. Finally one did she did. She just spoke about herself to him, or maybe she was speaking to herself out loud, he wasn't entirely sure but he listened and it was comforting because she never asked about him or brought up anything that would make him uncomfortable. This also went on for a while and it started to make him feel normal again. He almost started to get excited about the fact of seeing the little girl again because he felt like somehow now he did have a friend.

Esme had noticed when he would go and sit on the front steps when the other kids were playing outside. He did this hoping that Bella would come and talk to him, and she usually did. Slowly Esme started to have Bella over the house more and Edward didn't have to wait for her to show up.

Sometimes he would catch Bella looking longingly at the other kids playing games but she still never left him. One day she was invited into a game when there was uneven teams and she looked at him apologetically before standing to join them. But Edward stood up quickly without thinking to follow her because he didn't want her to leave and even though he still wouldn't speak, he would try and play in games with her, if it made her happy. Everyone seemed surprised when he joined in but no one said anything. A boy down the street asked him to pick a team. Edward just looked down not responding and stood next to Bella.

"What are you retarded?" The boy quipped and Bella yelled at him.

"He isn't retarded. He's probably smarter then you, you loser!"

Emmett pushed the boy down as well. That was the first time he knew that Bella was special to him and from that time on they were inseparable.

She made him forget about what happened with his parents and he was finally a kid again. If Bella didn't come over his house he would run over to hers and knock on the door. Her father Charlie treated him kind of strangely at first because of the fact that he didn't speak. Charlie always forgot and asked him questions which led to Bella scolding her father, reminding him, or answering the question for him.

The day that Bella came over to tell him that she was leaving was the day when he finally broke and he could not keep silent anymore. He couldn't let her leave because he couldn't stand the thought of her never coming back like his parents or the thought of her leaving without him ever even speaking a word to her. It had been months since he had spoken a single word but when she got up to leave that night he couldn't hold a word in. The words flew of his mouth at a hurried pace. Begging her to stay and when that wasn't working he finally spoke of his parents for the first time since their death, completely breaking down from talking of them and the thought of Bella meeting the same fate that they did. She cried with him too and promised that she wouldn't leave.

When she had gone home that night to sleep he was anxious and nervous about her disappearing on him even though she promised. He had a fear in the back of his mind that he would go to sleep and wake up to find that she had left him during the night. He had never really had a good night sleep, laying in bed until finally he couldn't physically stay awake any longer and was pulled under. But that night this resounding fear boiled in him and he snuck out of his house and climbed the ivy shutter up to her room. She didn't tell him to leave, just gave him a pillow and a blanket to sleep on the floor. He laid there and fell asleep after telling her good night, the first good night he had said to anyone since his parents had died and he actually fell asleep, a good nights sleep.

The floor was a bit uncomfortable at first but there was just something about being there that made him sleep, comfortable and worry free. He could relax. Over the years he had only tried once to sleep away from her, thinking maybe it was her physical room that made him come back night after night to the pillow and the blanket on the floor.

Bella was having a sleep over with Alice at their house while he snuck over to Bella's room and tried to sleep there on the floor without her presence, but he couldn't. He tossed and turned until he gave up and snuck back home. There he slept on the floor in the living room next to Bella who had fallen asleep watching a movie with Alice. So his little experiment had proved that it wasn't the place he slept that he needed for a good night's sleep, it was the person. Bella's essence made it possible for him to actually fall asleep without worry or anxiety about what might happen tomorrow in a world where the people you love can be taken from you in a blink of an eye. Being with her made him realize that that same world could also give him people that would help heal the pain of what he'd lost and fill in that hope that good things were possible too.

Esme and Carlisle were thrilled that he finally spoke but he at first just gave them one word answers to questions and was still distant. But with Bella he wouldn't shut up. He joked and he laughed about important things and things that weren't important at all and she never told him to be quiet, maybe she liked not having to be the only one to speak all the time.

Over the years it became easier to open up the people closet in his life but he still didn't open up fully like he did with her. They would lay there at night talking about anything on their mind, no matter how risky the topic was. She would ask him about his parents and at first he was sad about it but then he'd become excited to tell her about his past and the memories that he had with them.

He would always remember the time that he first saw her as more than just a best friend but as a beautiful person inside and out. They had stayed at the lake house over the summer and it happened to be a suddenly day out so they decided to go out and explore. They traveled further then they had intended when they came across a small clearing in the woods. The light was pouring in so they both laid down to rest. Bella had taken out her cd player with head phones and put it on. She closed her eyes and rested her head on her hands. On her face was a contempt smile and she looked entirely at peace. That was the first time he was absolutely memorized by her. The softness of her face and the way her skin glowed by the sunlight hypnotized him. The most important thing was that she was there with him and she really looked like she wanted to be, that he made her happy just like she did to him. He was young but he knew what he was feeling and had been feeling for a long time was love. He was in love with her as much as a person could be in love with another.

As they grew older together he watched as Bella's beauty grew before his eyes. There were now new feelings that started to churn up inside of him whenever he would see or touch her. Sometimes it was so powerful that he couldn't hold them back and retreated from her, trying to hide what he was feeling. He didn't know how she felt about him, like if she felt for him how he did for her, but he didn't want to ruin their bond with each other by pushing these emotions on to her.

When senior year started that dull fear that had always resided in him about the end of his time with her started to slowly ache more and more each day. He knew that there was a chance that they would separate from one another at the end of the year but he couldn't think things through.

He didn't want to scare her away with the intensity that he felt for her so he thought that he should distract himself from her. The pull to her was getting increasingly stronger and he assumed it was the reaction to the fear of losing her after high school.

Bella did not show any interest in him as more than a friend so his own self preservation told him that he should try to get her out of his mind. So he tried to distract himself and that is how Victoria entered the picture. He had never flirted with anyone before but he was shocked to see the results. Victoria ate up what ever he said to her like his words were made of chocolate. He didn't even think he needed to try with her anymore. He thought maybe if he put his sights on another then maybe this burning inside him for Bella would simmer down. He was afraid of the backlash though of not telling Bella about another girl in his life so that was when he made her promised that she would tell him if she didn't like any girl he dated. No girl was worth losing his girl over.

Deep down however he also had a fear of her finding another person and that was why he wanted the promise to go both ways, so he could step in if she dated someone who wasn't good enough for her. No one would ever be good enough for her though, not even himself he thought. Bella started acting strangely to him when he mentioned Victoria, giving him her uneasy smile that he knew signaled she was uncomfortable about something.

She couldn't hide things from him. Bella's face was an open book and he was the master reader when it came to her. One too many times already this year he had come close to losing control with her, and just ravishing her like he had always dreamed of. Once on the couch when he was on top of her, looking down into her warm brown eyes. She had bit her lip which was such a weakness to him whenever she did that. He wanted to nibble on that lip so badly. He had started to feel himself stir in other places from that longing for her and jumped off quickly before she noticed and became uncomfortable.

When her lips had grazed past his during their chocolate syrup battle, he gave in to his desire didn't pull back, but she did and that had ended that. He didn't need any more signs than to indicate that he should put his mind on other things. The relationship that he wanted with her was hopeless and a pointless dream.

He had felt bad for lying to her about Victoria but it was awkward to discuss it with her. After a couple of dates and a few innocent kisses with the red head, he knew that he was not really interested in her. When she had told him to park the car off in the shadows and straddled him, he looked into her eyes and didn't see that sparkle that his girl had. She didn't smell like strawberries, or bite her bottom lip, or giggle in that silly voice that Bella made when he joked with her. So when Victoria started kissing his neck he told her that he should bring her home. She was huffy about it but complied and slammed his car door shut when they arrived at her house. He made sure that things slowed down with her, not wanting to end it abruptly so he wouldn't hurt her feelings, but he would ease her off of him slowly so he could get away. He needed his Bella, that's all he wanted. Victoria had just been proof that there wasn't any other girl like Bella.

Then he found out about her secret fling with James or whatever it was. He didn't like it, well that was an understatement. He hated it with a fiery passion. The thought of that boy's hand all over his girl, that boy getting to nibble on that beautiful lip, or putting his face in her hair to smell that exquisite scent drove him mad. He didn't hold back his thoughts with her and their relationship began to weaken. He found out she had asked him to winter formal and was astounded. This wasn't' his Bella. First she transformed herself from a beautiful girl to a sexy beautiful woman. Not that he was complaining but he didn't like the way the boys at school looked at her, like they wanted to devour her. And James was the worst of them. The look in that boy's eyes when he looked at Bella made Edward furious. Edward knew what that look meant and what James was thinking because he often looked at his Bella the same way, but he had love intertwined with the lust he felt for her. James just had pure undiluted lust.

The night after formal he couldn't take it anymore. The constant fighting and not spending time with her was so foreign to him that he broke and told her how he felt, not the whole truth but a thin slice of it. And that night she had fallen asleep in his arms. It was one of the most peaceful slumbers he had ever had and he knew that once he had a taste of what it was like to fall asleep with her, he wasn't giving it up for anything. That month held the best nights he had in his life.

Valentine's day he knew that he would tell her. He was aching inside to spill out everything to her, and let her know how much he loved her because he started to feel the rare possibility that maybe she loved him to. He hoped she loved him too. He was going to tell her in the car before school but then chickened out and thought it was best to wait until after school when they had time alone to themselves. He was excited with anticipation that whole day. Emmett made fun of him acting all jittery and nervous but he couldn't help it, he wanted to see her so badly at lunch and couldn't wait to tell her what had been driving him crazy for years now. It was finally about to come out.

Then right before lunch he had the unfortunate obstacle of a crying Victoria chasing after him as he hurried to Bella's locker. He felt bad about seeing a her cry even though he really wanted to get out of there, but stopped and turned to asked her what was wrong. She threw herself at him, attacking his lips furiously. He was shocked at the sudden impact of it and was frozen for a few seconds while she tried with all her might to get her tongue in his mouth. He politely and gently put his arms on her shoulders and pushed her off.

"Victoria, I'm sorry but its not going to happen." Was all he said.

Her lip quivered as a new set of tears started and she ran off as he ventured on to get to his girl at her locker so he could take her books and just be with her. When he got to her locker he waited…and waited… the final bell ran and he waited longer but she never came. He went to the lunch room to look for her but only Emmett and Alice were there. They spilt up to find her and he looked everywhere. Alice had finally hurried back to him with a nervous look on her face telling him that she had found her. Her expression worried him and he desperately wanted to get to Bella. Alice had tried to assure him that she was ok and that it was just women issues but he didn't believe it. Something was wrong. Bella didn't go to any of her other classes and he rushed home after school see her, but she wouldn't see him.

Whenever she had a problem he would always help her. They were each others rocks. He was her safely neck, he would always catch her if she fell, but she didn't want that net now. She didn't sleep in her room that night and he knew she was avoiding him. When he confronted her the next day he was worried that she had maybe known he was going to admit his feelings to her that day and that's why she was avoiding him. He couldn't let her turn away from him though. He needed her now, he was addicted to her. Then she called Charlie on him for the first time ever and he was forced to back down. He was still strong until she said something that killed him. She didn't want him in her bed anymore, comparing herself like a sister to him. That's how she felt about him, she saw him as a brother. He was defeated, broken, and he would never tell her the truth now. He tried to act normal, still coming to her room because he couldn't give that up, but he was empty. He couldn't even hope anymore. This wasn't his Bella, it couldn't be.

The night of Alice's party he was shocked to hear that she was coming with them. It wasn't like her to want to come. But then again this whole year wasn't like Bella, changing her appearance, going to a dance!, liking a scumbag kid, and now wanting to go to a party. He wondered if this was all for James? Did she like him like that? He hadn't seen them together since the Winter Formal but he didn't talk to her now much about anything.

Now here he was with the love of his life looking right at him as she took a sip, doing it to spite him. He tried to keep an eye on her throughout the party but it was difficult with all the people there. Victoria had proposition him but he said his answer was still no, so she huffed and walked off. He lost Bella for a second and looked to see over the crowd where she was. That is when he saw James leaning into her whispering something in her ear. He started to move towards them to tell him to back off when he saw James pull away and Bella smile at him. This made him stop in his tracks and watch as James took her hand in his and led them upstairs. His insides died and he felt anger, revulsion, frustration, and despair as he watched his girl go off with another boy.

He followed them until he got to the bottom of the stairs and watched them ascend. There he slumped up against the wall because he didn't want to think about what was happening between the two of them up there. He prayed that the worst thoughts he had of them wouldn't happen. Bella wouldn't do that. There he stood for a long time until finally he was shook out of his anguished thoughts by Bella supporting his drunk sister.

He was pissed and angry still and gave her the cold shoulder. When he went to find Emmett after he got the girls in the car, his brother had a blond on his lap and told him he was staying the night but that he would call him in the morning for a ride. The car ride home was uncomfortable but he bared it without questioning her about what she did or what happened with James. Soon however, just like that, the whole night and every fight they had ever had, was washed away when they kissed. It was everything he had ever wanted, ever needed, and ever imagined it would be. It was perfect. She was perfect He didn't question her feelings for him anymore, and he felt like for the first time in his life everything was like it was suppose to be. That is until the next morning when he learned of her night with James….

* * *

Anger coursed through his blood, and all reason was gone. _She hates you now… _repeated over in his head.

He doesn't know what to do but he feels like a caged animal, being toyed with now, and he needs to find escape. Quickly he runs inside his house taking three stairs at time up to his room.

_She hates you now_.. repeating again and again. The first thing he reaches for is his stereo system to blast his music loud in hopes to drown out his thoughts. Its not working so he yells out in fury and can't keep the animal caged inside him any longer. He pulls are his hair harshly, needing to release this pent up anger and frustration. Conjured images of James and her together keep playing in his mind and he can't take it much more. Without thinking he punches the wall with all his might. A loud bang echoes and his fist goes through the wall. The impact stills the beast and he just stands there with his arm through the wall, panting and huffing as the anger starts to subside. He pulls his hand out quickly as Emmett opens his door with Alice on his tail.

"What the-- Shit! Edward are you ok?"

He doesn't say anything but just paces back and forth.

"What the hell happened!?" Alice shouts standing shocked in the doorway before running over to turn the music off. Edward wasn't one to take his anger out like this so he knows that he has his sister baffled.

Emmett had "accidentally" broken things in the past when he got worked up but Edward always knew how to keep himself in check.

The Alice spoke again. "Did something happen with Bella?"

The second her name leaves Alice's lips he can't take it anymore.

"Ah fuck!" He yells in frustration before grabbing his car keys off his bed.

He pushes his way past his siblings, needing to just leave. His hand is bleeding and throbbing from the impact of the wall but he doesn't think that it's broken. _Who cares anyway,_ he thought.

Soon he makes it to his car and reverses quickly out of the driveway before burning rubber when he hits the gas hard and fast to get away quickly. He just needed to drive to escape his thoughts but they consume him and there is no getting away from that. When he begins to get worked up again, he starts to drive towards the only thing he thinks could maybe help him forget his battling feelings.

The street soon comes into few and he pulls up in front of the house he hopes is the right one. When he knocks on the door, he proves himself accurate when Victoria stands before him.

"Edward?" She seems confused but excited at the same time.

"Can I come in?" He asks before pulling a hand through his hair.

"Oh yeah, yes of course." She fumbles and steps aside quickly before shutting the door. Its awkward when they just stand there quiet until Victoria breaks the silence.

"My parents aren't home, they went away on business for a few days."

He just nods his head and puts his hands in his pockets nervously.

"So what are you doing here?" She asks finally once the silence becomes to much.

His inner turmoil over that question kills him. _What is he doing there? _His rational mind questions. _Forgetting. _The angry and bitter part of his brain screams.

He looks up at her and wills himself to do what he is going to do next. With one quick motion he kisses her.

Victoria responds quickly and wraps her arms around him, crushing herself to him. She doesn't kiss or taste like his Bella but that is why he is doing this…to forget about his Bella.

Victoria starts to grab at his clothes and is moving him further into the house now. Her tongue is plunging in and out of his mouth greedily and he soon feels the side of the couch on the back of his knees. She breaks the kiss and pushes him so he falls back onto the cushions. She stands before him and lifts her shirt up off of her head so she is only clad in a bra. Slowly she walks over to him and straddles his waist.

"I knew this would happen eventually. From the first time I saw you I wanted this to happen." He just kisses her to make her stop talking because this whole thing is harder to do with her voice reminding him that he's not with the girl he wants.

_Stop thinking of her and forget…_The rebellious voice yells as Victoria grinds herself down on him. She begins kissing his neck while rocking on him to get more of a reaction from him. His voice of reason is still telling him to stop while the other side is urging him on. _This is what she did to you…follow through. _It screams at him.

This inner battle is causing him to not be in the right state of mind but he fights it and carries on. Victoria starts to snake her hand down his stomach and gets to the top part of his jeans. She starts to unbutton them and looks at him with lust filled eyes.

He looks down and knows that he needs a reaction soon to her advances or she is going to think something is wrong with him. Nothing though. Out of all the times he struggled with how easy this reaction came around his girl, he can't get any reaction now. So he cheats and stops forgetting about _her_ for a moment. Closing his eyes and putting his head back, he pictures his Bella after the chocolate fight, their kiss the other night, her eyes, her voice, her smell….and that gets him going.

That's all it took and Victoria must feel his new reaction because she smiles and moves against it. He groans and closes his eyes, picturing his girl still, imagining this is her right now. Victoria's hand is now in his jeans and at the waist band of his boxers. She lifts it slowly and starts to put her hand in before speaking again.

"I knew even after you turned me down at the party that you wanted me like I wanted you. At first I thought that little slut had something to do with you rejecting me but after her night with James and our current situation, I can see that isn't the issue." She laughs at the end.

His eyes shoot open and he sits up quickly before her hand could get to the now shrinking destination it was headed for. He lifts a befuddled Victoria off his lap quickly and stands up to button his jeans closed again.

"Don't call her a slut." He says strongly before turning to leave.

Victoria's voice shouts out to him before he leaves the door. "She doesn't want you!"

He stops in his tracks but doesn't turn before answering. "I know…but I can't pretend that I want you either, I'm sorry"

With that he leaves and heads home again. He can't believe he almost just did that. He shakes his head to rid himself of the close mistake he just missed. It wasn't right of him to try and use that girl to rid himself of Bella and he was positive that it wouldn't have worked anyway. She won't leave his mind.

When he gets home he lays in bed looking up at the ceiling, letting his emotions simmer down when suddenly his door bursts open.

"You Idiot!!!" Alice fumes with a red face and clenched fists. He looks at her and then looks back towards the ceiling.

"Hello to you to Alice." He replies dryly. This was the last thing he wanted to deal with now. His hand still ached from punching it through the wall and he wasn't in the mood to deal with people.

"I'm guessing you spoke to her." He sneers. He couldn't even say her name out loud right now.

"Oh yes I spoke to her. You, Edward Cullen, should be ashamed of yourself for speaking to your best friend like that."

This makes him jump up off of the bed quickly, furious that he is the one that is being attacked. It was her fault, all he had done was love her, want her, and wait for her.

"I should be ashamed?!" He roars then chuckles dryly. "She's the one who should be ashamed. She doesn't even have any respect for herself-"

"Oh shut up you jackass." Alice interrupts. Emmett appears at the doorway behind her, with a disappointed look on his face and is quiet for once. How fitting he thinks, that the blood siblings gang up against the adopted one.

"Don't you know Bella at all Edward?" Alice says in a lower regretful voice.

His eyes widen then narrow. "I thought I did, now I don't know who she is anymore."

"Edward, she would never sleep with James." Alice whispers.

"Then why did I see her go hand in hand with him upstairs at the party?! He had whispered something in her ear, she smiled, and then followed him Alice. He brags about it when I go to pick up Emmett and I find birth control in Bella's room! Then to top it all off…..she doesn't deny it! When I asked her if she fucked him she wouldn't give me a straight answer…"

Alice groaned and put her head in her hands before walking over to his bed to sit down.

"Bella should be the one explaining this but since I'm certain that wont happen in the near future because of how she's feeling right now, I'm going to do it for her…" Alice takes a breath and then sighs before continuing.

"She was looking for me that night at the party Edward. You know how drunk I was and I had ventured off into the house. Bella got nervous when she couldn't find me so she started to look. Then James approached her and told her that he had seen me upstairs and he would bring her to me." Alice shook her head regretfully.

"He lied and led her into a room and tried to get her to have sex with him."

Her words struck a cord deep in him and he became violently enraged at the thought of that weasel touching her. "Did he force himself on her Alice? So help me God I will kill that basturd if he laid a hand on her."

Alice shook her head. "No, no he didn't, thank God but he did threaten to say that he slept with her if she didn't. Bella of course chose not to because she didn't care what people thought. She knew that those closest to her would see through the lie and not believe it."

Edward winced at Alice's words. He felt like absolute shit. Here Bella was standing up for herself thinking that she would have her friends support and her very best one judged her and put her down.

Slowly he lowered his head to his hands, pulling his hair, ashamed at himself and how he had said those things to her when she needed him the most.

"Emmett and myself questioned her about it too so we are all at fault for that. But you however ripped her apart about it." He shook his head guilty and defeated because Alice was right.

"As for the birth control," Alice continued. "Bella was put on it by her dermatologist and was embarrassed to tell people about it. It isn't any of your business anyway." Alice scorned.

"And finally, the reason why she didn't deny it straight out is because she shouldn't of had to Edward. You should have known better than anyone else that she wouldn't do that."

She was absolutely right. He should have known, he shouldn't have jumped to conclusions, and he shouldn't have said what he had said to her. It was just that he was so overcome with the thought of another man getting to do all the things he longed for that it clouded over his rational thinking and won out.

"Shit, I'm an idiot." He groaned as he pulled at his hair in frustration.

Alice crossed her arms and looked at him unsympathetically. "Yeah I would say so."

"She won't forgive me…the stuff I said to her…she told me that she would hate me if I believed it…" He said in a despaired voice.

There he sat with his head hung low in his hands, not being about able to phantom the thought of Bella never forgiving him, or speaking to him, or seeing him. The pain of the thought of her hating him burned inside. He felt a gentle reassuring pat on his shoulder, knowing it was either Emmett or Alice, but not looking up to see for sure.

He didn't want to look at anyone, he was disgusted with himself for treating the one thing that mattered most to him like a piece of shit. The worst part was that he knew that he deserved to have her hate him after how he had acted, but the selfish part of him still hoped she would give him a second chance. All the dreams of being with her were now put on the back burner because not only did he still not have her as his girl, he wasn't even sure if he had her as a friend anymore either.

"Don't worry, Bella will get over it. You guys can never stay mad at each other for long. Just give her some time, you'll see." Emmett tried to be reassuring and helpful but his words weren't sticking in Edwards brain.

There was this nagging fear that it wasn't true this time, a feeling that this fight was not like the others, that they weren't going to makeup like they use to. And to think that last night was the closest he had ever come to having everything he ever wanted. He had actually kissed her and she had kissed him back.

All of it finally happened and now look at him. He wouldn't reflect on the gain that he had made with her because he now had to start from the bottom to make sure that he didn't lose her as a friend completely. If she does end up forgiving him in the end like he hoped she would, that is more than he could ask for, and he wouldn't push anything more on her.

"Just give her time Edward." Alice said as both his siblings exited the room leaving him alone in the same spot.

There he sat as it became dark outside and the light began to fade in his room. When he was in complete darkness he couldn't take it anymore and he had to see her. He would apologize, grovel, beg, plead, or do whatever it took for her to forgive him. He was an ass and he needed Bella to tell him that, then tell him that everything would be ok, and that they were going to be fine.

He just needed to see her face, even if she didn't want to talk. The other thought he had was that he shouldn't try to sleep in her bed tonight.

He'd sleep on the floor unless she let him sleep with her. _Alright Edward don't push your luck here. _He thought.

Then as fast as he could he run he sprinted eagerly out of his house and across the yard to Bella's house with a new found determination to make everything alright. Slowly he climbed up to her window and when the nerves started to act up he almost retreated willed himself to not back down.

With one hand on the window he stood still for a moment and took a deep breath. He smiled a little at the thought of seeing her and making everything go back to normal. A wave of courage and hope washed over him and he pulled the window up…well he tried to pull it up. It would not budge.

He tried more forcefully but nothing, not even a crack. With two hands now he tried again and gave it everything he could…but still nothing. Looking through the window he saw her dark room through the curtain and could make out the outline of her bed as well as the little bump raised in the blankets where she was laying.

He smiled at seeing that and tapped lightly on the window to try and get her to help him open up the stuck window. No movement. He tapped again, but still nothing.

Slowly he raised himself higher and looked at the top of the window latch and saw it…The window wasn't stuck. Bella had locked it to keep him out, to keep him away from her.

His heart sank and he now felt completely defeated. He placed his palm flat against the glass that was separating him and his love. Bella… he chocked out. He absent mindedly let go of the house in his utter devastation and almost fell back until he quickly captured himself before falling. That pain might have been more bearable then the one he felt now he thought. Bella was telling him by doing this that they were done, that this was final.

* * *

Bella's POV

That day after Emmett and Alice left I just laid around the house, staying up in my room away from everything. When night came I closed my eyes but couldn't sleep.

I just stared up at the ceiling for a long time. That's when I heard it. Someone was trying to open up my window. Pulling at it. But it wouldn't open. It was locked. I closed my eyes as the tears slipped through the lashes and tried to cover my ears at the sound of forceful attempt to budge it open. It was him and I couldn't bear it. I wanted to open it but my mind screamed no. There was tapping and my heart broke.

"Bella.." I heard him call out. My jaw was shaking trying to hold my sob in. Then it was silent. Nothing more. He had given up, he had left. I cried and then I slept when I couldn't stay awake any longer. I didn't go to school the next day.

Monday after school Alice showed up at my house. "Bella you can not avoid school for the rest of your life."

I rolled my eyes at her and got up from the couch to start making Charlie some dinner. "I'm not avoiding school. I just didn't feel good today that's all.." I added looking down. I tried to make that lie sound good but it wasn't working.

"Uh huh. Listen Bella, people are going to talk but then the next thing will happen and they'll move on and forget. Just be brave and show them that you don't give a shit, just like you showed James. I makes you look worse if you avoid it."

She was right, but I wasn't just avoiding James…. I was avoiding Edward the most. I had to be strong though. So Tuesday morning came and Alice made sure to drive me in her new car. I was happy that I would have someone with me for support at least.

When we showed up at school I saw that Edward's car was already parked there. He must have arrived earlier than usual to avoid seeing me too. The second I stepped foot inside the school, the staring began. Some girls snickered at me as I went to my locker and I received some over friendly looks from a few guys. I guess Bella Swan was free game and open legs to them now.

For the most part I kept my head down to avoid eye contact. I only heard a few remarks from a voice that sounded much like Laurens about being me being a slut, but for the most part everything wasn't so bad.

The thing I was dreading the most though was lunch time. I just hoped that Edward wouldn't go. I was going, I was done avoiding. I needed to be strong. He wasn't waiting for me at my locker like always and a part of me felt depressed about this while the other part was relieved. He could be skipping out and hiding after all.

I was wrong. When I entered into the cafeteria I saw him sitting with Emmett and Alice with his head down at the table. I had a few seconds to view him before my presence was known and from what I could see, he looked horrible. His hair was a mess, his clothing was wrinkled, and he looked like he hadn't slept. I started to get panicky and was about to turn and leave when Alice looked at me and waved happily from the table. At her movement Edward's eyes darted up and met mine with a look of despair but also with what I thought looked like relief. He seemed to be feeling what I was. I looked down and walked to the table before sitting in a chair next to Alice and taking out my lunch. Alice squeezed my hand to make sure that I was alright and I looked up at her and gave a small smile.

"How is everything going?" Alice asked.

"Its fine, I'm dealing." I offered back.

I started picking at my sandwich, just to give me something to do and not meet the eyes that I felt looking at me now. It was awkward and uncomfortable.

Emmett was trying to start up a conversation with him but he seemed to not have his attention. "So I think the Mariners will do pretty go this year, don't you Edward?" He said in a happy voice, trying to break the tension.

No reply came but that didn't stop Emmett from continuing.

"I think Dad said that he could get some tickets for us but he wants to wait until the next time he has off to come too. Pretty sick huh?"

Still no reply.

This was getting obnoxious because I wanted him not to ignore his poor brother and speak but at the same time I didn't want to hear the voice that pulls me in, even if he's just having a nonsensical discussion about baseball.

"Bella…" That voice I was dreading answered out.

I looked up on instinct for a second and saw him looking right at me. He looked tired and run down, with a paler face and hints of sleepy bags under his eyes. He looked miserable but determined as well.

I looked down again and continued to break apart my sandwich which looked pretty much ruined. Emmett had stopped talking and I felt both him and Alice watching us.

"Bella please… I need to talk to you…..its just….you…you locked me out so I can't…" He was fumbling with his words and seemed to be getting pretty upset. The hurt was evident in his voice. I couldn't be there any longer.

The sorrow and panic of being near him was starting to build and I was damn near certain that I would not let myself break down in my school cafeteria in front of all the people who were already talking bad things about me. I stood up swiftly but did meet his eyes.

"I can't do this." Was the only thing I said.

Alice grabbed my hand before I left. "Bella he's trying here."

It made me angry that she didn't understand and I yanked my arm away and turned to walk away quickly. I heard someone behind me almost stumble from their chair and I knew it was him.

"Bella please I'm sorry, but I need to talk to you." Tears started collecting in the my eye ducks and I walked faster until suddenly I was stopped.

James stepped in front of me from the table to me right causing me to halt and Edward to almost run into my back. He had a mischievous smirk on his face and I stared at him perplexed.

"Bella I was wondering if you wanted to get to together this weekend since last weekend was so much fun." He spoke with a chuckle and collective snickers ran out around the table.

I suddenly became aware for my surroundings and looked around me to see everyone in the cafeteria looking in my direction. You could hear a pin drop. My eyes landed on Edward closely in back of me and his face was contorted in anger.

He stepped forward with his fists up but Emmett stood in front of him quickly bracing his shoulders. "Edward, he's not worth it, calm down and turn around."

I looked back at James who was clearly enjoying himself and walked out of the cafeteria quickly. I left school early that day and for once Alice didn't bug me about it when she stopped over after school.

Later that night I heard him at my window again, trying to nudge it up but I just turned over and covered my ears. The rest of the week I ate at the library. I always felt Edward's eyes on me though in gym and Lit class. A couple of times he looked like he was about to approach me but I always walked away or made sure I looked like I was busy.

* * *

My week was absolutely miserable. The next was just as miserable too. Edward looked worse and worse everyday. But still absolutely desirable as always. He was probably the only guy who could pull that off.

I started to wake up each morning then to a little card tapped to my window with a single lily that read-I'm sorry. I would open the window to get it but close and lock it again. I wasn't ready, it still hurt. Finally one Friday morning Alice burst through my door.

"Ok so I am sick of this depressed atmosphere. I come over here and you are wallowing. I go home and Edward acts like a someone has died with his sad music playing all damn day. So I have come up with a much needed solution to perk up my spirits as well as yours."

I looked over at her and shrugged. "What?"

She jumped up and clapped. "The lake house! Esme said that we could go up and spend the weekend there. I think it's a good idea to get away for a little bit and relax."

Her idea really didn't sound that bad. I really did want to just get away for a little while and figure stuff out. "Just you and I though right?" I said making sure.

"Yeah of course." Alice said waving off my question.

"Alright, that sounds like a good idea, I'll just tell Charlie that we are going."

"Excellent! We'll leave shortly after school." Alice hugged me before heading home to start getting stuff together and get ready for school. Charlie was fine with the idea and seemed to be a little relieved that I was getting out of the house.

After school I took my small bag essential things and headed to Alice's car. Surprisingly she wasn't bringing that much either but did have a few groceries bags. Emmett's car was missing from the driveway but Edward's was parked in it's usual spot.

I looked at their house before we left and wondered what he was doing at that moment. The drive was nice and relaxing and the weather was warmer then usual but the clouds started to get darker and darker the farther we drove. Once we got off the free way about an hour and a half into the trip, Alice turned down the familiar dirt road surround by trees and vegetation that took you to the like rock cottage by the lake.

Alice started to get a little quieter now once we headed down the road and I eyed her skeptically. "Looks like there's going to be a thunderstorm." I said in causal conversation.

She kept her eyes on the road and gave a little smile. "Mm hmm." Was all she offered me.

We drove for another half hour down the little deserted road with forest on both sides until we came to the secluded lake house. I smiled when I saw it because of all the good memories that had occurred there.

There was a small garden out front with all the flowers starting to blossom from the spring season. It was a quaint little house with rock siding that made you think of a little English cottage. There was only three bedrooms and two bathrooms inside with a small kitchen and living area. The top floor only had the boys room and a small bathroom, while the bottom had the master bath and bedroom along with Alice's room. The car slowly stopped and Alice finally turned to me, handing me the house key.

"Can you go unlock it and check inside while I start unloading?" She asked in a hopeful voice.

"Um yeah no problem." I said without question. I followed the stone steps to the door and turned the knob before unlocking. Surprisingly it was unlocked already. I looked back at Alice but she as quickly taking things about of the car so I shrugged and turned towards the door again before pushing it open and stepping inside. The lights were off inside but the outside light pouring in through the door and windows made it visible to see clearly enough. Everything looked the same since I had been here last summer.

Suddenly a noise came from the kitchen and I heard a voice call out.

"Emmett is that you?" Edward said as he stepped forward from the small hallway into my view. He just stood there when he saw me, looking as shocked.

I was just as shocked until suddenly I heard a car wheeling out and driving away. I ran from the house to the front yard and only saw my bag and a few others next to a cloud of dusk that had once been Alice's car. Everything clicked into place. I had been set up.

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**Author's note: Hope you enjoyed. Sorry it took long with the update, finals(ehh) and work. Summer is here so I'm going to be quicker. Chapter 12 is already started. Please review!**

**Also a shout out to HannahxTwilightx for posting my story on the twilight forum. I saw my story hits and they went up after you did that so thank you so much!**


	12. The Lake House

**Disclaimer: All these characters belong to Stephanie Meyer.**

**Special note: Please be aware that this story is rated M and there is content in this chapter that may not be appropriate for some people. I don't want to offend anyone so please be warned that there may be some sexually explicit material in this chapter. Thank you and enjoy the chapter.  
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I just stood there, in the dust cloud kicked up dirt from the car, looking down the long drag. I couldn't move. Surely Alice was just playing a joke and would turn around at any moment.

I knew he was watching me, I felt his eyes on the back of me, but I wasn't prepared for this and I certainly wasn't ready now. He didn't say anything though. I must of stood there for a good five minutes and he didn't speak a word.

It was getting a little weird, just standing here, I had to brave up. I turned then and faced the house. Just like I expected he was standing by the open door looking at me.

"Did you plan this?" I said in a tight loud voice. He wasn't too far away however so it wasn't that necessary. I just wanted to sound strong.

"No I swear Bella, Emmett just asked me if I wanted to come up for the weekend. He dropped me off and said he was going to run to the store and that was the last I saw of him." He said in a sincere voice and I knew he was telling the truth.

I just nodded, not wanting to talk anymore. It was obvious though that Emmett and Alice were the two culprits in this little game but I wasn't going to play. It might have been the stubborn side of me holding out on facing this issue or that fact that I was petrified of it as well. Suddenly thunder rumbled in the sky and Edward ran forward to help me with the bags on the ground next to me.

"Come inside its going to storm soon." He said as he walked ahead with my stuff not waiting for a response. I followed along but I didn't plan on staying here long.

Once inside I looked for the phone in the house but only found the base without the receiver.

Edward looked at me examining the phone less stand. "That was Emmett's doing I'm sure. That is also the only land line. He took my bag that had my phone in it."

That made me think of my phone and I reached into my pocket and pulled it out. Alice wasn't stupid though and the battery was missing from the back. _How the hell did she get past me to do that?_ I now realized that I was stuck in the middle of a forest without any ways of communication with the outside world.

"I think that they will come back before the weekends through." Edward shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal. I finally took in his appearance and at the moment he was shifting his weight back and forth on his feet with his hands deep in his pockets. He looked nervous…really nervous. Even though his words made him sound like he had a calm facade, looking at him you could tell he was far from it. Everything just hit me and I realized that we were alone together and now I was nervous too. I turned and looked out the window towards the forest. It was starting to rain now and I watched the drops rippling on the small lake.

I needed something to do so I started to unpack the shopping bags which contained food for at least a few days and also some strange items like candles, matches, as well as a two flash lights and packs of batteries. Alice had obviously looked at the weather report and was just making sure that we were prepared if we lost electricity. I worked at a slow pace and took my time, afraid of the moment when I had nothing to do and would have to face him.

He moved next to me to helped me put stuff away but I moved away from him like he was fire. From the corner of my eye I saw him put down the bread he was holding on the counter before moving to the living room. He seemed to get the hint and gave me space I guess. After everything was put away I really didn't know what to do with myself. I just stared out the small window over the kitchen sink for a moment. Taking a deep breathe I turned around and leaned back on the counter, elbows resting just on the surface.

He was sitting in an arm chair across the room looking down at his hands in his lap before looking up in the pin drop silence, meeting my gaze. His eyes had so many emotions flashing through them and he looked so broken. I couldn't bear to look at him looking like that and turned my eyes down to my feet.

"Bella… I need to talk to you." I didn't say anything but just looked up at him.

"I'm so sorry. I should have never said what I said and I didn't mean it. I could never think that about you." His voice sounded pained. When I didn't answer he spoke again.

"Please Bella I'm sorry. I was stupid and jump to conclusions." He pleaded. I just looked down.

"Yeah you did. You didn't even think to hear me out about it." I said in a detached voice.

"I know, I'm a jackass. I just got so… I couldn't stand the thought…." He sighed. "I'm sorry."

He was struggling to say something but I could hear the defeat in his voice. I wanted to tell him the truth now. "I didn't sleep with him." I whispered.

"I know… Alice told me." He said looking up from his hands.

My eyes narrowed. "Of course. So the second she tells you the truth you believe it." I said bitterly.

He started to get defensive now. "Listen you didn't exactly deny it to me when I asked you."

I stood up straighter, ready to get my point across. "I shouldn't of had too! You should have known that I wouldn't do that. Out of all the people Edward! I thought you would have been the one to have my back about this, the one I could go to for support. But you spit in my face about it and judged me like everyone else. I don't give a shit what others think… but you… I do give a shit about that."

He stood up now too and looked frustrated and hurt. "I know… I'm an ass ok. I know that. I should have known… its just that…never mind."

He turned away for a second so that I couldn't see his face.

I was done with him not letting out what he wanted to say and holding back. I wanted to know everything he was thinking. "What Edward? Tell me. Its just what?"

He turned and looked at me and then started to walk towards me.

"Its just that this whole year has been different. You changed, started acting different, dressing different. I mean you were still you, but it wasn't really you. It was like you were trying to be a different person. And it killed me because I knew it was for him."

I groaned in frustration and walked past him. This house was too small and I needed air. It was also unbelievably frustrating that he believed this. I slid open the glass door and walked outside into the now pouring rain. He was hot on my heels though.

"That's how I knew he didn't deserve you. Because he didn't want the best parts of you. My favorite parts that should never be changed." The Bella Swan I know smiles at gory movies when everyone else is cringing and covering their eyes. You get teary eyed during ASPCA commercials even though you think no one notices."

I stopped in my tracks but didn't turn around. How the hell did he know that? Every time I saw one of those commercials I always became a little choked up looking at those poor homeless animals, not having anyone to love them.

"You snort when you laugh too hard and bite your lip whenever your nervous." I let go of my lip from between my teeth at his words.

"You have such a passion for life and you want to see the world. I know you made us go get our passports last year for no reason because you have this fantasy of just leaving and getting out of this town….You won't though because of my other favorite thing about you-Your unconditional love for the people in your life. Like how you go fishing every so often with your dad because you know it makes him happy even though you don't like it. Or how you hate onions but always eat Esme's famous onion soup and tell her how delicious it was because you don't want to make her feel bad. And ever year you drop everything so you can be by your best friends side on the day his parents died and keep him together. You'd give the clothes off your back to your family and friends and you're probably the least selfish person I know. So don't you ever try to change that for anyone, because they don't deserve you if they can't love everything already about you."

I was crying in the rain as I slowly turned around to face him. He really did know me better than anyone, even things that I didn't think people noticed, he did. But out of everything he knew he still didn't know the most important thing about me. And I decided that he should know that very last thing. "Just shut up" I yelled over the sound of the rain hitting the lake water and the ground. Some thunder rumbled in the sky but all else was silent.

I turned around slowly to see him standing there quietly with his head looking at the ground and his arms limp at his sides. He looked so rejected and wounded.

"It wasn't for him…" I said in a shaky voice.

Edwards head snapped up and looked at me intently. I started to cry a little more because it was all about to come out now. Everything that I had been holding up inside of me for so long. The fear of telling him mixed with the relief of confessing the secret that had been eating away at me and the emotion was too much.

"It never was for him, never will be." I chocked.

"Then who?" Edward asked with his brows furrowed.

"Its was for you…always has been…." I wiped my eye with the back of my hand but it was no use. I was soaked from the rain so my tears mixed in.

"I… I don't understand… why would you change yourself for me?" He asked perplexed.

"So you could love me." I shrugged with my lip quivering as I tried to hold back more of the tears forming.

Edward shook his head still trying to make sense of my words. "But I've always loved you."

I bite my lip and let it come out. Yes I knew he did, but he was talking about loving me like a friend or a sister. I had a different meaning with the love I was talking about when it dealt with him. It hurt that he didn't understand, that he could never love me like that. Well I already took the leap into the truth pool, might as well go under.

I took a deep breath and let the final truth come out. "I know…but not the way I love you."

His eyes looked fierce and determined then. "No you don't know." Quickly he strode the distance between us until he was in front of me and grasped each side of my face with his hands before crashing his lips to mine. The sudden contact sent sparks throughout my body and I wrapped my arms around his neck while his hands moved down to wrap around my waist and pull me against him. His tongue flicked out against my bottom lip to ask for entrance and I eagerly complied, savoring the taste of him mixed with the rain falling down heavily on us. My hands went into his wet hair to pull his head closer while I stood on my toes to make up the height difference. He leaned down to allow me better access to him.

Then without even thinking I hopped up and wrapped my legs around his waist and he supported my weight with his hands on my bottom like I didn't weigh a thing. The kiss was needy and deep. We both couldn't get enough of each other. The whole time our kiss never broke until we finally needed air. I hadn't that the kiss broke but we were both panting from the emotion of it. With our foreheads pressed together, I smiled as he smirked and began to walk us back into the house, never diverting his eyes. Once inside he kissed me on the mouth again and pressed my back up against the wall by the door. Slowly he started to kiss along my jaw and down my neck while I whimpered from the feeling.

"I'm in love with you." He whispered when he was right by my ear and then put his head down on my shoulder nuzzling me but also seeming to try to get a hold of himself.

I felt my eyes glisten because it seemed too good to be true that he would admit to me everything that I had ever hoped he would feel towards me. From the position of our bodies I could tell that I had affected him, I could feel him pressed against me. But I wanted this, now more than I've ever wanted anything in my whole life. He loved me like I loved him, and now I wanted to be as close to him as I could ever possibly get.

He was breathing me in and trying to relax himself, but I didn't want that. He probably didn't want to push me to do anything but I wanted him to not hold back. I wanted everything he could give me and I would give him everything that I could possibly give.

"Edward.." I whispered into his hair. He slowly brought his head up from my shoulders to look at me and I saw that desire mixed with conflict on his face.

I took both my hands and put them on either side of his face to make sure he looked right at me.

"I'm in love with you too." I said in the most earnest voice that I could. He closed his eyes and smiled in pure joy like a deaf man finally being able to hear. I had an equally large grin and he came forward and kissed my lips softly. When his lips were just grazing mine I spoke against them. "Make love to me.."

He pulled his head back once again and looked at me startled.

"Bella… I don't want you to do anything you're not ready for. Just because I love you doesn't mean that you have to do that. I'll wait for you. I'll wait my whole life if that's what you want. I'm perfectly happy with what you've already given me."

"Its not like that. I've wanted this for a long time and I don't want to wait anymore. Unless of course you don't want to…." I said casting my eyes downward.

I felt his fingers on my chin as he titled my head up to look at him. "Bella I've wanted to make love to you for as long as I can remember." I smiled at him and he kissed me softly. I pivoted myself against him so I could feel him fully and he growled at the sensation, nibbling on my lip before pulling away.

"Are you sure?" He asked. I nodded my head before starting to kiss and lick his neck, making my way to the spot right behind his ear. He was walking now, and when I sucked on that spot his knees shook a little bit and he staggered.

I smiled into his neck knowing that I found a weakness. He climbed up the stairs quickly as I giggled at his eagerness and pace. A door was suddenly pushed open. We were in his room now and he walked slowly towards his bed in the corner next to the big window that looked out over the lake.

His room had two skylights on the roof that showed the darkling sky and the rain hummed against the house in its own sooth melody. Both of our clothes were soaked and the material clung to each other. He lowered me onto the bed before leaning over me with his elbows supporting him. I looked up at him as his two hand went to my face and smoothed the wet hair that was sticking to my skin.

For a moment time felt like it slowed down as we just stared at each other, the only sound of rain falling in a steady slow. He just stared down at me, tracing my face lightly with his fingertips, ending at my lips. I reached my hand up and pulled him down to me so that our lips connected once more.

My hand went down his back tracing his spine making him shivering until I arrived at the end of his t-shirt. Slowly I began to edge it up and he helped to shrug it off. He slid his hands under the edge of the shirt I was wearing, slowly pulling it up. His knuckles graced over the skin of my stomach and sides of my breasts, giving me goose bumps from the touch, before pulling the shirt over my head and tossing it to the side. I arched my back so he could reach behind and unclasp my bra, making it hang loosely on me. As he eased off the two straps, he kissed the skin on my shoulders where the material had been before pulling it down my arms.

I blushed in embarrassment and closed my eyes when my chest was now fully exposed to him. Never before had I let anyone see me this way.

I heard his voice over me as his hand came up to rub my cheek. "Hey… its ok, there's nothing to be embarrassed about, your beautiful." I kept my eyes closed and bit my lip, shaking my head in disagreement.

"Yes you are, but if you're uncomfortable we don't have to do this." I opened my eyes up and saw him looking down at me sincerely, willing to stop if I just said the word. And I knew he wouldn't complain or threaten me like James to do anything I didn't want to do. It was my choice, he was giving me the power to make the first move.

I slid my hand over his and pulled it off my face. He stared at me as I guided his hand down my neck and chest before stopping it to land on my breast, showing him that I wanted this too, that I didn't want to stop.

He let out a breath as his hand met my skin, cupping and squeezing while he kissed me deeply and intensely, letting me know the desire he felt. My eyes were closed as I kissed him back with the same passion before trailing my hands down his chest to the top of his jeans.

He looked down between us to watch me unbutton his pants and unzip them, before pulling them off his hips. I used my feet to ease them down his legs, which was difficult since wet jeans cling to skin, and we both laughed at the trouble I was having before he helped me the rest of the way. Before I could move to his boxers, he was unbuttoning my jeans and I lifted my butt from the mattress so he could pull them down my legs.

His fingertips ran over the edge of my panties but he looked me in the eyes first and hesitated, still giving me the way out. I nodded my head as he pulled them down my hips and legs until they were off me. I was now completely exposed to him but I didn't feel uncomfortable because he was looking at me like I was a goddess to him, treating me like a new found treasure. I held his eyes though as I slid his boxers down, not wanting to stare at his nether regions. But when they were fully off I couldn't help my curiosity and peaked down at him. I gulp when I saw all of _him_ and I heard Edward chuckle over me. I blushed knowing I had been caught and smiled shyly at him.

"Sorry." I whispered.

He chucked again and gave me a chaste kiss on my lips. "There's nothing to be sorry for. You can look all you want. I know I am."

It was that fun and playful moment that made everything so comfortable again because it really was my Edward here with me, the same boy who had been my best friend over the years, nothing had changed.

I wanted him now though and the lust for him was beginning to build. He must have seen that look on my face because the playfulness vanished from his own and was washed over with desire. His green eyes took that familiar dark look I had seen before but never understood, realizing now that that look was one of passion, passion for me.

We began to kiss again, a slow steady kiss as his hands roamed, caressed, and felt parts of me that no one had ever touched before. I whimpered and withered at the new feelings and pleasures that his hands brought me and my hands soon started to have a mind of their own, wanting to touch every part of him like he was to me. We just explored each other, touching skin to skin, always coming so close to being with each other fully but never getting that far. He was gentle and patient but each touch made me more anxious and ready for him. I touched him _there _like he had touched me and he breathed in sharply, looking at me once again to make sure I was ready for the next step.

"Please" I whimpered below him.

He smoothed my hair again in a loving gesture and nestled between my legs. He looked down to meet my eyes before gently kissing my forehead…my eye lids….my nose… and ending on my lips.

"Please tell me if I hurt you and I'll stop." He whispered in my ear. I nodded my head as we stared at each other, not needing to speak what we felt, just seeing the love there.

Then slowly and steadily he pushed into me. We both gasped together at the feeling.

The pressure was strong and the pain came quick and sharp. We stayed still, locked together, both breathing heavily. My eyes got misty from the pain and he lowered his head down at me and kissed my eyes once more as if to kiss away the tears.

He was trembling above me as I held him tight against me. The thunder rumbled again in the sky and the sound of rain mixed in with our tattered breathing.

"Are you ok?" He whispered in my ear, his breathing ragged.

"Yes are...are you ok? You're trembling." I said as I cupped his face in my hands.

He smiled at me with love in his eyes before answering. "Perfect."

He lowered his forehead to mine before softly gracing my lips. Ever so slowly he began to move again. The pain was beginning to decrease now as our bodies moved as one, fitting together like I always knew they would. The feeling of total, blissful, and unconditional love and happiness that I felt in that moment with him washed over me. He was showing me how much he loved me with every kiss and touch as he filled me.

I didn't know what my body had been missing until now and I knew that I would crave him more than ever after this, especially since I now knew what it was like to be with him to the fullest extent. He would have to beat me off of him with a stick.

Everything felt good and it wasn't long before I felt him trembling again over me and a rush of warmth inside before he slowed. He laid his forehead on my shoulder, trying to catch his breath. After placing a single kiss there, he rolled off of me, my body already screaming for him to return. So quickly however he pulled me towards him, wrapping his arms around my waist so my bare chest was up against his.

He nuzzled into my neck and sighed, his hot breath tickling my throat, before placing small kisses all over me.

"Mmmm did I tell you how much I love you?" He whispered into my neck causing me to giggle and shiver at the same time.

"Nope I don't think you did." I teased.

"Mmm soo much. Everything about you. Your stubbornness and the way you can put me in my place when I'm being an ass…. The way you make me so unbelievably fucking happy that I curse without even being angry." I laughed when he said that. He snuck his fingers in my hair and began messaging my temples as he continued to speak, making me close my eyes in content. "You are the only one who can get my blood pumping one minute and then completely calm me down the next." He chuckled. "And you're the only one who can crack me up with your jokes and sarcasm."

"That's all personality stuff, you don't like anything physical?" I was just joking with him but he pulled away from my neck to look at me with that same passion again in his eyes.

"Don't even get me started about the physical stuff. I could go on for hours in that subject. I just didn't want to seem like a shallow guy." He laughed. Then he began kissing my face again. "Mmm I love your soft skin, these full lips, those big beautiful brown eyes and lashes, mm these perfect boo-"

I quickly put a hand over his mouth, embarrassed by his words about me. "Ok ok I get it. You love me." I giggled.

He smiled and pulled me over to him to snuggle closer. I smiled into his chest as he held me tight against him and sighed in bliss. I yawned though knowing today's events had been tiring to say the least but I didn't want to fall asleep. In the back of my mind was a fear that if I fell asleep I would wake up and find out that this was all a dream, that it was too good to be true.

"Go to sleep love" Edward whispered into my hair.

"But I didn't tell you all the reasons why _I _love you." I pouted.

He kissed my forehead and breathed into my hair. "And you'll never have too. Just as long as you do, that's enough for me."

I snuggled closer and forgetting about my fear and falling asleep in utter peace in his arms.

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Morning light trickled in through the sky light over head. I stretched my arms and legs out, still in a sleepy state and forgetting exactly where I was. The bed I felt under me was softer and bigger than my own. Then it all came rushing back to me. I opened my eyes quickly and looked around the room, confirming that I was indeed inside Edward's room at the lake house.

The images of our bodies joining together, the kisses, the love, flashed in my head and I looked down to see my naked body tangled in the sheets.

I smiled but when I shifted I winced a little from being sore so I took small movements to sit up in bed. Next to me the other side of the bed was empty and my smile faltered. _Maybe he bailed…_ my inner depressive monologue said in my head. I knew he wouldn't though, and couldn't considering that we were stuck here.

I smell a heavenly aroma of coffee and bacon coming from down stairs and decided to inspect. Quickly I shuffled out of bed, saw my clothing bag on the floor, and put on a pair of boy shorts. I was eager to get down stairs so I grabbed one of Edwards shirts from his dresser and threw it over my head. Then I bolted down the stairs and into the living room. From there I could see Edward facing the stove, his back to me. He was shirtless with only a pair of jeans on. I admired his muscle back and ogled him from behind as I watched him cook breakfast.

I looked around and saw that he had set up the small table in the kitchen with a nice white table cloth and put a few daises in a vase in the center. The gesture was so cute and I fell in love all over again. I tip toed my way across the floor and snaked my arms around his waist, pressing my lips to his back.

"Morning" I mumbled into his skin. He turned around in my embrace and wrapped his arms around me, looking down at my face.

"Good morning beautiful." He said with a big smile before giving me a light kiss on the top of my nose. His face stayed close to me then and he lowered his lips to graze mine gently. "How'd you sleep?" He whispered into my ear as he tightened the hug.

"Mmm excellent. Is Edward Cullen actually making breakfast?" I said titling my head because he had never made breakfast before. He shrugged and blushed a little.

"Yeah I learned how to make some stuff from Esme."

I leaned back a little in his arms to look at him fully since this was the first time I had ever heard that he had learned to cook. "Well then how come I was always the one to make breakfast in the past?"

He laughed and pulled me in. "Easy. No one cooks breakfast like you. That's my favorite thing you make for me."

"Then why are you cooking now?"

"Because I want to do something for you." He brought his hands up to my face to cup my cheeks and look me in the eye. "I want to give you everything." He said so seriously and intently.

"You already have." I whispered before bringing my lips towards his. He smiled against the kiss and pulled away. I pouted my lips at the loss and he chuckled.

"I'm almost done with breakfast. There are fresh strawberries over in the bowl on the table if you'd like some." My eyes lit up and I licked my lips before turning and heading towards the table. I picked a strawberry up and bit into it, causing a moan to escape my lips at how ripe and delicious it was.

Just then I was spun around and Edward's lips crashed to me. He pulled away and lifted me, setting me down on top of the table. I was so surprised that I didn't say anything as he kissed me passionately before devouring my neck.

"Edward what about breakfast?" I giggled in his hair.

"Screw breakfast." He mumbled into my skin.

He was standing in-between my legs and slowly dragged his fingers down to the helm of my t-shirt to bring it up my body while his other hand descended into unspeakable territories.

I tried to hide the wince when he touched me there but nothing goes past Edward. He pulled his hand away quickly looking overly concerned and worried.

"What is it? Are you hurt?" He asked pushing my hair behind my ear.

"I'm fine its just that I'm a little sore from last night." I said raising my hand to rub circles in his cheek, reassuring him that I was alright.

He dropped his hands down to his sides and looked down shamefully. "Oh God I hurt you. Why didn't you say anything? I would have stopped."

"I was wrapped up in the moment at the time, but its not your fault. It happens to ever girl their first time I heard. Next time it will be better." That caused him to look up with a crooked smile.

"Next time huh? Already thinking about next time?" He teased with a devilish look in his eye.

Leave it to Edward to be sad and masochistic one second to playful and horny the next. He brought his hands to my sides then and tickled me.

"No!" I laughed out. Just then I saw smoke coming from the toaster.

"Edward your toast is burning."

"Huh?" He questioned during his tickling onslaught.

"Your toast." I breathed out while trying to squirm away.

He turned his head to look around him. "Oh shit." He said as he released me and ran to get the toast out.

I laughed and hopped off the table to take a seat. He threw out the burnt toast and put new slices in before heading next to me with a big plate of eggs and bacon. There we sat eating the delicious breakfast he cooked and catching each other stealing glances at the other.

"I love you in my shirt." He said as I caught him checking me out.

I smiled and took a sip of my coffee. He went back to eating his food and I put my coffee down slowly. "Edward?" I said quietly. I was afraid to ask him what I wanted to next.

"Yes?" He said talking my hand that was on the table into his.

"Well you know that last night was the first time that I had ever done that with anyone." He smile and lifted my hand up to kiss my knuckles. He slowly opened my hand and traced lines in the palm creases.

"Yes I know, and Bella you don't know how happy I am that it was me. I've always wanted it to be me. Thank you." I smiled at him and playfully messed up his hair. He stretched his arms out and pulled me over to sit on his lap.

"So then…was that your first time too?" He looked at me confused for a second and then looked down a little embarrassed.

"Yes." He whispered in my ear. It made me happy and elated to hear that. Even if he said it wasn't his first time I wouldn't have cared, but I loved that we had both experienced it for the first time together.

I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him closer to me, giving him little fast kisses all over his face. He laughed until I starting sucking and nibbling at that soft spot below his ear. Then a moan escaped his lips.

"Bella you are making it very hard for me to hold back here." He warned in a shaky voice. I smiled and very quickly picked myself up off of him. He looked at me confused and I smiled slyly.

"I'll just stay away then." I said with a smile. His eyes narrowed playfully and he sprang from his chair.

"No way in hell." He said before chasing me into the living room as I laughed and tried to avoid him. I stood on one side of the couch with him on the other, going back and forth calculating each others next steps until he smile crookedly at me and hopped the couch, pulling me down on top of him. He held me close and just looked at my face, slowly tracing the contours of it with his thumb before ending on my lips. I liked the end to this game better now then before because at least now it could end the way I wanted. Slowly but surely he gave me my kiss.

The rest of the day was just total bliss. We didn't really do much of anything but be with each other. I could tell he really wanted to make love again but he didn't want to push it because he knew I needed a day to heal a bit. We went outside when the sun peaked through and walked hand in hand around the lake. We watched some movies on the couch that ended with some groping and innocent kissing before making dinner together. It was perfect, everything was perfect. The best part was that it was like it had always been, but with additional bonuses and extras.

That night we laid in bed together wrapped around each other, both so relaxed and peaceful in each others arms that we didn't move.

"Edward?" I said as I glided my finger tips up and down his arm like he liked me too.

"Hmm?" He said in his sated state.

"What do you think took us so long to confront one another?"

He shrugged in my arms. "I think we were both so stubborn to be the first to admit it and both too insecure to think that the other loved us back. Then of course there was this year where we both made so many wrong assumptions about things."

"Yeah I guess you're right. It just hurts to think of all the time that was right there for us that we wasted." I said feeling regretful.

He pulled me in closer to him and kissed my forehead. "Hey, we're here now. We shouldn't look at the past, there's no going back anyway. But you know what? I wouldn't do anything different. Everything that we went through, every good and bad time, every mistake or decision…it led me here with you. So maybe that was the way it was suppose to work out."

My eyes became a little glassy at his words but I kept it hidden so I didn't seem like the overly emotional girl friend. _Wait am I his girl friend now?_ The question hung there in my head. I didn't want to ask him that because I didn't want to seem pushy but I wondered if that was what he thought of me as. He was rubbing circles into my back gently and had his head deep in my hair as our bodies faced each other. The rubbing slowly stopped and I knew he had drifted off. I kissed his neck and whispered I love you before closing my eyes and drifting off after him.

* * *

The next morning I woke up facing away from Edward but with his body spooning into my back and his arms wrapped around me. I looked down and saw that his one hand had drifted up my t-shirt and was cupping my breast. He snuggled closer to me but was still asleep. I rolled my eyes at this. _Boys… _I wouldn't move his hand from there though because he had every right to touch the ladies as far as I was concerned. I smiled at the way my mind was working now when it was dealing with Edward.

This weekend so far had been amazing even though we had only made love once. We never let go of each other though. One part of us was always touching and it seemed like Edward couldn't get enough of me, nor I him. I definitely wasn't complaining because I wanted to consume that boy every time I saw him and it did make me feel good that we both felt the same way about each other.

All of a sudden my silent happy thoughts was interrupted by a familiar voice.

"Oh jeezes! Looks like they made up." Alice's voice broke in the quiet room.

I snapped my eyes open and sat up quickly, causing Edward's hand to fall from my boob and onto my thigh. He was still sleeping but his brows pulled together in frustration and his arms tried to find me and bring me back to him again.

I looked at Alice wide eyed as she stood at the foot of the bed until Emmett roared in laughter from the doorway.

"You can say that again, I think they did a little more then making up." He laughed.

Suddenly Edward shot up and rubbed his eyes, trying to figure out what was going on as Emmett laughed harder. I groaned in embarrassment and put my head in my hands.

It only took Edward a couple seconds to fully wake up and comprehend what was going on but he immediately threw the blanket over us covering my bare legs and undies and his boxers.

"What the hell are you two do doing here?" He growled.

"We came back for you guys." Alice scolded. "I just didn't think we would find you in bed groping Bella." Alice laughed and Emmett joined in.

"Ahh" I groaned and threw a pillow over my head to hide me from the humiliation.

"Out!! Both of you now!!" Edward snapped, causing both Alice and Emmett to quickly scurry out.

Emmett hesitated at the door however, always having to be the one with the last word.

"Just hurry up with the dirty stuff though, Alice and I want breakfast." With that Edward threw his pillow hard at the door as Emmett quickly shut it, snickering from the other side.

I felt the pillow being pulled away from me and looked at Edward as he cupped my face and pulled me in for a soft peck.

"You alright?" He asked lovingly.

"Yup nothing hurt by my pride." I tried to sound calm but I was very embarrassed.

He scooped me up in his arms and I rested my head on his chest. "Nothing to be embarrassed about. They were the ones who left us here, they knew that something was bound to happen."

"Edward you had your hand clutching my boob when they walked in." I said.

He moved his hand to that exact location again and gave a squeeze. "That's because their perfect. I'd have my hand here for the rest of my life if I could."

I laughed loudly at him now and got up to get dressed. He fell back into the bed and pulled me down with him.

"Noooo, not yet lets just snuggle some more." He whined in a cute voice that made me smile and contemplate doing just that. I knew though that the two hooligans were downstairs waiting and the longer we took the more teasing I would have to ensue.

"No no lets get dressed and go downstairs." He pouted his lips at me pretending to be sad and I smiled and gave him a big kiss, earning me that smile that I love from him. We both got dressed quickly and headed downstairs hand and hand to face the war front.

Alice was sitting on the kitchen table drinking some OJ while Emmet flipped through channels on the couch. The second Alice saw us she stood up quickly.

"I want to know everything!" She yelled with a big grin.

I looked at Edward and was smiling back at me from his sister's enthusiasm.

"First of all Alice! Thanks for ditching me." I playfully scolded.

Her smiled dropped and she seemed concerned. "You're not really mad about that though right? Because that was the only way to get you guys to work out your issues. Emmett was the master mind behind it too."

"Thanks for throwing me under the bus Al." Emmett mumbled.

"I'm not mad Alice." I looked back up at Edward who was looking down at me endearingly. "Everything worked out for the best in the end."

"Oh God you both are so stinking cute!" She squealed when Edward and I were looking at each other. I walked into the kitchen with Edward.

"Want to make breakfast together?" I said to him. He smiled and nodded his head.

Alice had more questions but I told her to zip it until we at least had breakfast ready. Once breakfast was on the table and everyone was seated the question came again. Edward was holding my hand under the table discreetly.

"So are you guys a couple now." I swallowed my orange juice in a big gulp and looked at Edward to find the question that had been plaguing my mind. He seemed to be looking at me for the answer too. I bit my lip as the awkward silence grew and neither of us spoke. Then Edward answered, never breaking eye contact.

"Yes.. Yes we are." He said and I smiled and gave his hand a light squeeze telling him that I was happy with that too. He grinned a big goofy grin and turned his eyes back to his food.

"I knew you guys would always end up together!" Alice said excitedly.

"Congratulations guys." Emmett said as he slapped his hand on Edward's back.

There was a happy silence as we ate in each others company. Until that is when Emmett said his signature awkward line. "So did you guys screw like crazy or what?"

Edward nearly choked and spit out the coffee he was drinking and Alice laughed loudly.

Soon Edward glared at his brother. "That's none of your business. What happens between Bella and I stays between us."

Emmett chuckled. "That's definitely a yes."

As Edward chased a screaming Emmett from the table into the back yard Alice eyed me up, looking for answers.

"So what was… sex like?" She said looking me in the eye.

I groaned and picked up my plate to clean it off. "Do we really have to have this discussion?" I complained.

"Yes. Yes we most certainly do. My best friend had sex for the first time, it's a big deal! I don't want specifics though because it was my brother and all, but I would like an overall explanation."

I put my hands on the counter and sighed in defeat. "Fine….it was… amazing." I said with a small smile remembering how exhilarating and empowering the experience was. The things I felt, the love, the happiness, I didn't think I could really explain it to the fullest extent.

"Did it hurt?" She asked next.

"Yeah sure it did, but it was still unbelievable and just perfect." I said closing my eyes, with the smile still on my lips .

"You really do love him don't you?" She said as I opened my eyes to see her happily observing me.

"Alice...more than you know." I said. With that she came up to me and gave me a big hug.

"I'm soo happy for you guys. You deserve each other. You make him so happy Bells."

"He makes me so happy Al." I said squeezing her and pulling away. The boys came in and Emmett had mud all over his face and shirt but was laughing to himself. Edward came strolling in perfectly clean a second later with an equally happy demeanor.

Emmett went to the bathroom to shower while Edward plopped down on one of the chairs and pulled me on top of him. Alice rolled her eyes and I playfully swatted him away so I could help her start to clean up. Afterward, everyone helped to pack up all the food and things to bring home before cleaning the house a bit.

Edward complained and brooded about taking separate cars the ride home, but it was for the best since I was suppose to be away with Alice for the weekend anyway.

From the late night up with Edward and the early morning wake up call, I was tired during the car ride home. Alice wined about giving her more details about the weekend but I told her I would tell her whatever else she wanted to know if she let me sleep. She hesitantly agreed and before I knew it we were all ready home.

Emmett and Edward arrived first since Emmett was a speed demon and I found my delicious looking boyfriend waiting for me on my front steps as we pulled up to the house. He ran to open the door for me and carried my bag inside.

Charlie was watching TV on the couch but got up to give me a welcome back hug when I walked in.

Once we were upstairs away from Charlie's sights, Edward wrapped me in his arms.

"I missed you." He whispered in my hair.

"But we were only apart for two hours." I giggled into his chest.

"Yeah, two hours too long." He replied kissing my forehead.

"Bella?" He asked after the comfortable silence passed between us.

"Hmm?" I replied with my eyes closed, completely at ease just standing in my room hugging him to me.

"When are you going to tell Charlie about us?"

"Maybe I shouldn't." I answered, pulling away to look at him and seeing a hurt and disappointed expression on his face.

"Oh no not that I don't want to tell everyone that you're my boyfriend." My favorite smile of his returned. "Its just that if Charlie thinks everything is the same then maybe it will be easier to see you still. I mean I've never had a boyfriend before so I don't know how Charlie is going to react about it."

He rubbed small comforting circles into my lower back under my t-shirt as he answered.

"I don't think he'll be too bad about it. Charlie loves me to begin with so it should be alright."

I nodded knowing he had a point. "Alright, how about we tell him over dinner tonight? Its always easier to break news to him over food." Edward laughed and kissed me enthusiastically on the lips, making my knees go weak.

He helped me make dinner, which was much more fun with his indecent comments dealing with food and me and his not so subtle touches when Charlie was out of the room. He made me laugh until I had tears in my eyes when he put whole raw vegetables into a pot without cutting them up first and making jokes about being jealous of the food I was handling with my hands.

When dinner was ready I called Charlie into the room and suddenly lost the easy humorous mood from before.

"Looks good Bells." Charlie commented as he started to eat.

I looked at Edward who gave me a reassuring smile and I put my utensils down to place my hands on the table. Before I could speak however Edward spoke for me.

"Chief Swan" He started, causing Charlie to look up confusingly since Edward had spoken to him on a first name basis. My boy was really trying to impress the parental unit I guess.

"I was wondering if it would be alright for me to date your daughter sir."

Charlie chewed his food and swallowed before a smile crossed his face and started laughing. "Is this some kind of joke Eddie boy?" Edward's smile fell and he looked down at his plate. I moved my hand over his to comfort him and looked at my father seriously.

Charlie was looking now curiously at my hand over Edward's.

"Its not a joke Dad. Edward and I are seeing each other now on a relationship basis."

My father stared at us open mouthed. "You and Edward?" He asked again.

I nodded my head. " Yes I love him very much and he loves me." I said looking up at Edward as he smiled an easy smile now down at me.

Suddenly Charlie's clapped his hands down on his side of the table. He was smiling hugely at the both of us. "Well alright then." He said before going back to eating, but never breaking his smile. Edward and I stared with open mouths at him perplexed.

"So you're ok with it then?" I asked.

"Yeah sure why not. If you're going to date a boy than I'm happy its Eddie boy here. I trust him and I know everything there is to know about him."

Charlie then pointed his fork at Edward and put on his _cop _face. "Just because you're like a son to me doesn't mean you get any special privileges with my daughter though yah hear?"

Edward gulp. "Yes sir."

Charlie nodded. "Good. You've helped me clean my gun collection before so you know not to hurt my daughter." Charlie said in a teasing voice, making Edward smile again. "Take good care of our girl here ok?"

Now Edward was the serious one. "You have my word sir that no harm will come to her. She'll be safe with me." Then Charlie shook his hand as if in some kind of agreement and I rolled my eyes.

After dinner Edward helped me clean up and was glowing with that same goofy grin on his face that he had at the lake house.

As I was washing the dishes I nudged him with my hip when he was smiling looking down at the plate he was drying. "What are you smiling about mister?"

He looked down at me and kissed the top of my head. "Everything is finally how its suppose to be."

I stood up on top of my toes and kissed his lips after his words, showing him I agreed.

After dinner we went over Edwards to tell Esme and Carlisle. Esme cried and told me she wanted that to happen ever since we were little and Carlisle congratulated us. I went back home later that night to get ready for bed and put one of Edward's shirts on again. He was already in bed when I came in with his hands behind his head looking up at the ceiling thinking. He was smiling as he contemplated something and when he saw me enter he pulled the covers back for me to snuggle in next to him.

I yawned when I nestled into his side, draping my arms around his waist to pull him closer and he entangled our legs to together.

"I love you." I whispered to him as my eyelids fluttered closed.

"I love you too." He replied, kissing my hair.

* * *

**Author's note: Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Please review, they always make me happy. I'll be at the beach for a week so I won't have interent, but it would be a nice welcome home suprise to see a ton of reviews when I get back haha. I started Chapter 13 and will be productive and continue to write when I'm away though.** **Hope everyone is having a good summer!**


	13. Trouble in Paradise

I woke up to the feeling of soft lips gently kissing my own and I smiled against them. When my eyes opened I found Edward smiling back at me with his adorable bed head poking out all over.

"Morning." I say in a raspy sleepy voice.

"Morning love." He replies back before kissing me once more.

I break the kiss before it escalates and try to look around him at my table clock. He moves in front of me though so I can't see it and I giggle in response.

"Will you stop that. What time is it?" I playfully swat him while trying to squirm in his arms to see the clock. He has a teasing grin on his face.

"Doesn't matter." He answers before moving his head down to kiss along my neck. I moan for a second but the logical part of my brain is yelling at me to stop the funny business because we both have school to go to.

"Yes it does. We have school today." I shift again and fell him against me. All of him. I freeze for a second and look at his face, seeing a blush on his cheeks but the look of passion in his eyes.

Suddenly he flips us over so I am pinned down. He is situated right between my legs but he just stares down at me silently. I am starting to get worked up myself but I know this isn't the time to start this now, since we both still have to shower before school.

I'm breathing in labored breaths again as he holds my gaze but I shake myself out of the lust filled daze.

"We can't." I whisper. I bite my lip and his eyes darted down to my mouth, looking as if he is debating something. The clock ticks in the background and I shift to get up but the movement causing him to groan.

"You can't do stuff like that to me then. That's not playing fair." He says in frustration into my ear. His voice sounds sexy and seductive and I know I have to get up fast before I start backtracking my responsible choices thus far. I push his shoulders up and jump out of bed.

"It wasn't intentional I swear. But I think Charlie is still home and I refuse to do that with him here. Also we both have school in a half an hour and I still need to shower."

Edward seems to be thinking about something again but just nods and moves to stand up. He walks over to me and gives me a chaste kiss on the lips before walking to the window. I think maybe he is being sour but I don't have time to comtemplate more about it before Charlie calls from the bottom of the stairs.

"Bells I'm heading off to work. Time to get up."

I run to the top of the stairs so Charlie doesn't make his way up.

"I'm up. Going to take a quick shower before school."

"Alright see you after work." Charlie replies before heading out the front door. I quickly undress in the bathroom and turn the water on, wincing a little when I step into the burning hot stream.

I close my eyes and let the water soak my hair and ease my muscles out. With my eyes still closed as the water runs over my face, I reach out for my shampoo bottle in its usual place in the corner. My hand meets the bottle at a closer distance than normal and I open my eyes to see Edward handing the bottle to me with a crooked grin on his face. His sudden appearance frightens me non the less and I scream bloody murder.

Frantically I suddenly became very modest and shy realizing that I am naked in front of him and try to cover myself up with my hands.

"What the hell are you doing!" I yell in annoyance.

He simply looks at me smiling with amusement before slowly stepping towards me in the small shower. At first I think he is going to touch me and my heart speeds up but instead he steps around me and into the hot falling water.

"Taking a shower." He replies as he closes his eyes and runs his hands through his wet hair. I blanch at his still amused face but then become distracted by finally taking into account a fully naked Edward in front of me.

The water droplets fall down his body and touched every muscle and line. This was an even better sight than I had always imagined it to be. I am gaping at his perfect body before me when he opens an eye at me and quirks an eyebrow at my obvious staring. I shake away that little spell he always casts on my rational mind and remember that I'm suppose to be annoyed.

"You do have a shower at home you know and I told you that we can't-" Waving a hand between out naked bodies.- "do that this morning." I say, folding my arms in front of me.

At doing that his eyes dart down to my chest and stay locked there. He has that hungry look again but he gulps and looks back up at my eyes again. I realize that having my arms folded like this is not giving me the desired effect of a tough persona, but is causing him to become distracted, so I quickly drop my arms to my sides.

"I know Bella, I just thought I could shower here with you. You know, save some water." I almost laugh at hearing him use the words that I once thought to say when I wanted to see him naked. Now look how far I've come. I shake my head but cast my eyes down his stomach to those wonderful v-lines on his hip bones and look where they lead down too.

I looked up suddenly after seeing that he certainly doesn't have just a shower in mind if that is how he is reacting to our current situation. He may say that this is just an innocent shower but his body is saying another thing entirely and he certainly looks ready for more than a good cleaning.

"Just a shower huh?" I say, now being the one to quirk an eye brow. He looks at me and then looks down, eyes widening now when he sees what I'm talking about . A weak laugh escapes his lips and then he turns around so he isn't facing me anymore. That really isn't any better for me either because he is perfect front and back. I move next to him and feel him tense.

"I need to shower too." I say as I step under the water. I look for the shampoo bottle and he has it in his hands again.

"May I?" He asks. I don't see a reason not to let him wash my hair, even though I don't know why he would want to, but I nod in consent.

He puts some shampoo in my hair and gently scrubs my scalp with it. Soon after he puts in my conditioner, which is a necessity for my long hair. It does feel so much better having someone else do it than myself. I close my eyes and sigh in relaxation.

When I open my eyes after rinsing out the suds, I see him looking down at me with love in his eyes. I smile affectionately at him and stand on my tiptoes to give him a small thank-you kiss before moving him under the water so I can wash his hair.

I laugh at the height difference knowing that it will be hard for me to reach up to wash his hair.

"Can you bend a little for me?"

He smiles and pokes me in the stomach playfully before complying to my wishes. He closes his eyes just like I did as I massage his scalp and run my fingers through his wet hair, playfully styling it into a little Mohawk on the top of his head. Unsurprisingly he looks so good with it and I feel my body unconsciously leaning into his, but still not touching. When I make sure the shampoo is all out I soap up my hands and run them over his broad shoulders before moving them down his chest. He grins but still keeps his eyes closed.

I know it's wrong of me to do what I am going to do next but the compulsion to touch him is just too much, especially with him standing like this before me. I bite my bottom lip and slowly dragged my hands down the center of his stomach muscles until I reach...down there… and stroke him quickly. His eyes shoot open and bore into mine. I quickly retract my hand from him and take a step back.

"Sorry." I say quickly, but his hands reach out and grab my hips, bringing my body tight against his before whispering huskily in my ear.

"Now that was definitely intentional." Then before I know what hits me, he crashes his lips to mine and kisses me with such power that I feel like I melt inside. Everything feels like it blurs away as our lips move together. His one hand goes to the small of my back to pull me in as his other snakes its way to the back of my neck to kiss me harder.

Soon I feel his hand leave my neck and start to travel down my body. I already feel all of him pressed up against me and I quiver at his touch. Just as his fingers start to go to the inside of my thigh my mind has a second of clarity and I push him back.

"We have to stop." I gasp, pulling away from the kiss and seeing his lust filled face stare back at me.

"No." He replies quickly before pulling me back and sucking on my neck feverously.

I moan loudly at the feel of his lips there but the sound of my voice snaps me out of my stupor once more and I snake my way out of his arms quickly before pulling the shower curtain back and stepping out.

"I mean it. We both are going to be late to school." Edward grunts in frustration and turns the shower off before stepping out and picking up a towel to wrap around my shivering body.

He sighs in defeat. "Alright tease. Let's go."

I change quickly and just have enough time to brush my hair before I'm out the door with Edward. The car ride over Edward holds my hand and we say little, just content with each others company. When we arrive the five minute warning bell rings and people are scattering away quickly to their homerooms. Edward follows me to my locker, even though he will be late to his first class, and stands by me as I pull out my books. There isn't anyone in the hallway now since there is less then a minute to the final bell.

Once I close my locker I look over at him leaning on his side watching me. He tucks a piece of hair behind my ear and gives me a soft kiss.

"You know I love you right?" His speaks softy.

I smile and reach up to get another kiss. "Yes, and I love you too."

He kisses my forehead and starts to walk off as the final bell rings.

"I'll see you before lunch!" I call out as his waves and smiles at me before I dart into class.

Nobody seems to know that Edward and I are a couple yet it in any of my classes. I don't get questioned by anyone about it, not even by some of the girls that I am friends with. It is just a normal day at school and I like it that way. Maybe it isn't that big of a deal to people or not big enough to notice. It wasn't like Edward and I weren't always seen together anyway. Maybe some people already thought we were going out. I guess I didn't feel different… just happier…a lot happier, like everything fell into place.

I am antsy all day to see Edward again but I always get the feeling that he is closer than I assume. My suspicions are confirmed when I see the back of a messy head of bronze hair turn a corner quickly as I enter into my third period class. The thought of him checking up on me is sweet but I know he has class in another building that period and seeing me is totally out of the way for him. I make a mental note to tell him that it isn't necessary later on.

Finally when I make it to my locker before lunch, I can't help my huge smile from forming when I see him waiting for me like always, matching my ecstatic grin. I jump into his arms when I near him, so enthused to be with him again. I really did miss him so much even for those few short hours. He sets me down and kisses me quickly on the lips.

"Miss me?" He laughs.

"Of course." I reply as I grab my books. When I turn around to look at my surroundings, a few people's eyes meet my own but they look down quickly or whisper to another. I shrugged it off and close my locker.

Edward quickly takes my books away to carry and we begin to walk to the cafeteria. My hand dangles at my side and I feel his fingers lace through mine and grasp it. I smile up at him as we walk into the cafeteria hand in hand.

We are both looking at each other when we enter, completely oblivious to the other people around us. I let my eyes drift to the room before us and notice that there are quite a few eyes on us. Most of the eyes belong to girls but there are a few boys as well. I groan mentally now, knowing that the general school population has started to catch on.

Edward was always seen as that untouchable boy that everyone saw but never really knew anything about. When he went out a few times with Victoria Chambers it had caused an uproar. Even though I tried to block out any talk dealing with them during that time period, I would constantly hear tidbits of things people would say about it. Mostly girls from the younger grades saying that Victoria was a bitch and didn't deserve him, which made me smile, but there was also some girls in our grade discussing what Victoria had told them about her interactions with him. And man, that girl had picked apart every detail to the second she spent with him, bragging about her encounter.

I, on the other hand, was never really under the watchful eye of the student body. I didn't go to parties, hook up with anyone, or even discuss to girl friends who I liked. People knew as much about me as they did about Edward, which was pretty much nothing. I did however earn a bleep on the Forks high school radar when James told everyone that I had slept with him.

Even though I wasn't big news, James was. And a girl like me, who had stayed out of the high school circuit all three years of high school, made for quite a juicy bit of news when it appeared that I had suddenly changed my ways. So I knew how they saw us. Edward was guy everyone wanted to know about and he was now, for some strange reason, holding hands with the girl who everyone thought had drunk sex with James a couple of weeks ago. That's high school for you.

We both walk hand in hand, with Edward acting indifferent to everyone watching, a content smile playing on his lips. Alice is grinning hugely at me and Emmett is already at the table too.

"Well look at you too! Causing quite the stir in good old forks high." Alice quips.

"Please, I've always been around Edward, not much has changed." I huff as I sit down with Edward in tow.

"Yeah except for the fact that you slept together." Alice wittingly remarks.

"That's personal. It's nobody's business anyway." Edward squeezes my hand and I offer him a small smile.

He stands up to get lunch with Emmett while I stay with Alice. She has her lips pressed tightly together looking like she is holding something in.

"Alright already spit it out." I sigh frustratingly.

"Alright which one do you want to hear first?" She asks.

"What do you mean?" I question wearily.

"Well there's the one rumor that your pregnant with Edward's baby." I nearly choked on my sandwich at her words.

"Do I look pregnant or something?" I say while coughing the sandwich piece that is now stuck in my throat.

"No of course not. I suspect Lauren started that one in spite of you. According to that story Edward has been banging you for a while on the side whenever he was bored and you accidentally got pregnant. So he felt bad and started dating you. You know, since the baby is coming and all." Alice rambles like it's of little importance.

"Wow, how sweet of her." I say shaking my head. "Is that the worse one?"

She shakes her head. "No but that's definitely the craziest one. No one seems to be buying it. The worst would have to be how Edward and you are using each other."

"How so?" I ask while picking apart my sandwich. Why did I want to know this? Was this some sick kind of thing that I was doing to myself now that I had everything I ever wanted. Did I actually want to hear these things just so I could tell myself that maybe these people are right, that Edward and I are too good to be true?

"Stupid stuff. There's a few. Like you are using Edward to get back at James, and Edward is using you to get back at Victoria." She waved her hand dismissively and opened up a yogurt. I rolled my eyes knowing that I certainly wasn't getting back at James. Could Edward…? No. I shook my head, not allowing myself to think awful things like that about him. I knew he loved me like I loved him, and that was real.

I stretch my neck up to see where Edward was, really wanting him close again and nearly jumped out of my seat when Alice startles me.

"Oh my God Bella. Is that what I think it is on your neck?" Alice gasps in shock but amusement laced in.

I quickly lower myself in my chair and put my hands over my neck. "What? What is it?"

Alice quickly takes a compact out of her purse and hands it to me. Sure enough as I open the mirror I see a hickey near the base of my neck.

"When did he-" I voice my thoughts out loud.

Alice is laughing hysterically at my stunned face and I am blushing furiously. The images from this mornings shower come into play and I suspect that that was when he must have given me my little love bite.

Just then Edward slides into the chair next to me and puts his arm around my waist.

"What's Alice laughing about?" He questions with a smile on his lips. I shoot him a glare and Alice seems to laugh harder.

He looks at me confusingly. "What?"

"I think you know what!" He still looks puzzled so I yanked my shirt down to show him the hickey on my neck.

Realization suddenly fills his face but he is silent, knowing he is guilty and at a loss for words at the moment.

"Wow Edward, letting everyone know what is yours I see." Emmett chuckles as he bits into a burger. Edward fixes him a glare and then looks back innocently at me with his adorable face that he knows I can't stay angry at. Damnit.

"I'm sorry baby. I didn't mean to do that, and I didn't know it would make you angry either. I promise not to do that again if it upsets you." He says in a soft voice while rubbing small circles on my back soothingly. Then he leans in and kisses the exact spot where the hickey is as if to make it disappear.

I know damn well that he most certainly meant to give me that love mark but he is looking down at me so lovingly and speaking so softly that I know he won this round again.

"Oh all right." I say with a sigh.

"Am I forgiven?" He asks, stroking the back of my hair and looking at me hopefully.

"Yes, now come here and give me a kiss." I reply, grabbing his shirt in a fist and pulling his head down to meet me. I can feel his smile against my lips as I give him a big smooch and hear Emmett mutter-"Get a room".

I pull away and go back to my lunch, leaving him a little dazed by the big kiss I just gave him. Alice just laughs and shakes her head at us as Edward's green eyes sparkle and his crooked grin forms back on his face.

The rest of the day is pretty uneventful. Mostly the whole school now knew about Edward and I after our little lunch display but not many people commented. I earned a few new looks and whispers, but for the most part everything is good. A few people that I am friendly with in some of my classes even say that they were happy for us. So I am in good spirits throughout the rest of the day and can't seem to wipe the smile off my face.

So here I am, now giddy and drunk off of love, heading into last period gym class. I can't wait to see him again and am even more excited to go home and spend more time with him. I quickly change into gym clothes and walk out into the auditorium, scanning the crowd of students standing around waiting for the teacher to come out.

I can not find that familiar bronze head of hair though, wondering where on earth he could be. But then those familiar warm arms wrap around my waist and his delicious scent surrounds me. I feel his chin rest on my shoulder, his hot breath on my neck.

"Missed you." He whispers.

I turn around in his arms and wrap mine around his neck, playing with the hair on the back of his head.

"Missed you too." I say raising up on my toes to give him a quick peck. I open my eyes and see Edward looking behind me, but before I can turn to look his hand goes up in my hair and presses me in to him to kiss me deeply.

The kiss is powerful and hungry, very different from the kisses we have been giving each other throughout school the day. It is the type of kiss that makes my knees go weak, but also the type that we share in private, not in the middle of a school gym with dozens of onlookers.

His tongue fights to go in my mouth and he feels dominate over me, especially when I feel his other hand on my lower back slide down to cup my butt. My eyebrows shoot up and I move my arms to his chest to push him away so I can catch my breath and break the kiss before it gets any friskier.

"Well isn't this cute." I hear a familiar and sarcastic voice speak from behind me.

Edward's body tenses in my arms and I look up at his face to see him looking behind me again, fierce and alert. I have a pretty good idea who it is though without even looking and have my suspicions confirmed when I see James's face before me.

So that explains the dominate kiss and who Edward looked at over my shoulder right before he initiated it. He was marking his territory right in front of his competition. Not that James was competition but I'm sure Edward still sees him as a threat.

I'm angry and a little hurt by this alpha male display that he blatantly used me in but I know now is not the time to start a fight with Edward while James is right there watching. James is standing with his arms folded over his chest and a cocky smirk on his face, meaning only one thing….trouble.

I'll address the issue with Edward later for sure but right now the only thing that seems like the best option is to get Edward out of there. People around us are starting to take notice. James has a few of his friends standing behind him smirking as if they know something is going to happen.

"How you doing Bella? Haven't talk to you…well since our night together if I recall correctly." He says with a devious grin before adding- "But then again, we didn't do much talking that night either." The boys behind James chuckle at his comment but I don't reply. I look up to see Edward's jaw muscles clenching and his eyes blazing with fury. His hands are held tightly in fists at his side. I move to his left and brace his tight arm muscle, afraid of what will happen next and really wanting to get Edward out of there.

"Edward ignore him, he's only trying to start something." I say quietly to Edward only and pull his arm back gently so I can get him away from this situation before it escalates. James seems like he's not quite ready to stop yet however.

"Looks like Eddie boy is enjoying my sloppy seconds." James continues, mocking the name my Dad calls Edward. I know Edward hates to be called that but he allows it only of my father. That's when I feel Edward take a step forward, his neck muscles straining as if he is holding himself back. I hold on to his arm for dear life though, not willing to let him take another step closer, not knowing what he will do.

"Oh I think I'm getting him riled up boys." James laughs to his friends as they snicker behind him.

I now step in front of him and put my hands of his chest, trying to capture his eyes with mine and get him to calm down. Because I know, looking at his face that he is at the tipping point of his anger.

"Sweets look at me." I say trying to move his chin down with my hand so I can meet his eyes. Reluctantly he lowers his death glare at James and his eyes seem to soften a bit when he sees me.

"Please, don't listen to him. Turn away. This is what he wants. Don't give him what he wants." I say rubbing my fingers over his tense jaw line to try and relax him.

His tense muscles seem to slowly ease up as he maintains eye contact with me. I slide my hand down to open up his fist and weave my fingers in his. Slowly I step around him and pull him gently back so that he turns away from James and walks the opposite direction with me. Thankfully he starts to turn around and slowly moves away with me.

"Wow someone is whipped." James continues, but I'm holding Edward's hand and making sure he doesn't falter. He seems to be ignoring James and continues to move. I know if we just get far enough we can be in the clear.

"Hey Bella, call me if you want another go. I heard from Victoria that your boy there has trouble following through. I never have that problem if you can remember." At James's words I feel a tug on my arm and I turn to see that Edward has stopped moving. He pulls his hand from mine before I can tighten my grip and balls both hands into fists again. As I turn fully to face him, he clenches his eyes shut so they won't meet mine and his body looks like it is shaking with anger. He is giving it all he has to restrain himself this one last time. But before I can offer any words to calm him, James adds in one last thing.

"And Edward... Word of advice. Wear a condom with that one, she seems like she's easy, from what I could tell."

I knew those words were the last thing needed to send Edward over his brink.

I gasped at them myself and at the realization that there was no way I could stop Edward now.

As I reach out to grab his arms to retrain him, Edward had already turned and charged at James with such force that when they collided their bodies both shot backward in a loud bang across the gym floor. James's head hits the floor hard but he throws a fist up fast and hit Edward in the jaw. Edward punches him back hard in the face and I'm sure everyone around them hears the crunch of James nose when it meets Edward's fist. James gets one more good punch into Edward's face though, making me step forward quickly, hating to watch him get hurt. But as I approach, Edward begins pounding James's face over and over again with his fist. It is a repeated cycle of Edward lifting James' head up by the collar before smashing his head back down with his fist.

I am crying in worry for him and this completely wild Edward before me, in this animal like rage. I had never seen Edward like this before and it was frightening. James was now squirming to get away instead of trying to fight back, his face was bloody all over. "Stop it Edward!" I scream. "That's enough!" But he seems not to hear me. Why isn't he stopping!

I move to pull his shirt back but Emmett swoops in and lifts Edward off of James to end the fight. Edward thrashes and kicks in a blind rage to try and get towards James again but Emmett has locked on to him tight and his dragging him backwards. James is still lying on his back but turns over and spits out blood and a tooth onto the floor.

"What the hell happened out here?" The gym teacher yells as he runs out to assess the situation. He looks at James on the floor and Edward still in his fury before sending a girl to get the nurse and telling Emmett to get Edward out of there.

"Bring him to the principle's office now Emmett!" He roars.

Emmett tugs Edward along and I only get the chance to see Edward's bloody fist and lip, before he turns away to leave. His eyes were still dark in rage from the fight that had just passed. I hurry to follow him, but the teacher notices and stops me.

"You stay right where you are young lady or I fail you!"

I glared in anger at him but listen, wiping my tear stained cheeks.

This one day of gym class felt like it is taking a century to end and I am getting anxious and fidgety to know what has happened to my boyfriend. I don't talk to anyone but many people are still excited over the fight and looking at me as they whispered. It was obvious that James was the one that had sustained the most injuries but I was still worried if Edward was hurt from the hits he took. God why did he have to even fight like that! Now there is a chance at him getting suspended, if not expelled considering the state of James face.

I tear up again but anger washes over me thinking about Edward for letting James antagonize him. He should have just walked away. Just then I see Emmett walking into the gym doors with a solemn look on his face. I run over quickly to him, needing to know every detail about Edward.

"Emmett where is he? Is he hurt?" I saw clutching his arm, begging him to tell me anything.

Emmett sighs. "He just left school with Carlisle, but he's not too bad. He has a cut lip and a black eye but besides that he is good."

I let out the air I was holding in but need to know more. "How bad did he get in trouble?" I ask, my lip quivering, praying that he didn't say that Edward was expelled.

"I'm not really sure Bells, they wouldn't let me sit in for that part. I'm sure Carlisle talked them into going easy on him though, don't worry." I nod my head but the tears fall freely.

"Aww don't cry Bells, it will be ok." Emmett says, scooping me up into a hug to relax me.

"Can you drive me home Emmett? Edward was the one who drove me to school." I sniffe.

"Yes of course." Emmett replies, wiping a tear from my cheek.

After school Alice ran up to us after hearing the news and wanted to know exactly what happened. Emmett filled her in on the details while I sat in the front seat, not wanting to talk to anyone.

"I've never seen him like that, or fight like that for that matter." Emmett replied shaking his head in disbelief.

"What did James say to him to get him going like that?" Alice asks me since Emmett didn't know that part of the story.

"Just stupid stuff. God why didn't he just walk away…" I speak more to myself then to Alice.

I was angry at him. Angry for using that kiss to prove a point. Angry for letting James get to him like that. And angry for letting himself get into such a wild frenzy and getting in trouble.

When we pulled up to the house I shoot out fast, wanting to put my stuff away inside before heading over to the Cullens. I unlock my door and get inside quickly and venture inside. As I cross the living I am startled when two arms grab me and push me up against the wall. Edward's lips attack my own in a frenzy as he presses his body into me as if he has a hungry urge to consume me. I am so caught off guard and overwhelmed by this sudden surge of lustful aggression that I forget about everything that had transpired this afternoon. Then I remember.

Forcefully I push him back off of me to look at him.

"What on earth has gotten into you?" I ask in deep breaths. His eyes are dark with lust and he moves forward to kiss me again but I side step him and get out of his reach.

When I look at his face I see his puff bruised eye and cut lip, a lip that shouldn't have kissed so forcefully.

"Oh my God Edward are you alright?" I ask stepping toward him in worry and reaching up to inspect his face for anymore signs of damage.

He winces as I touch his eye but pulls my hips against his, rubbing himself against me. "I'm fine, now kiss me." He says in a raspy voice.

My eye brows furrow as I try to make out the situation. He wants to have sex after all that happened today? That's what is on his mind right now?

Angrily I push away from him again.

"No." I say firmly.

"Why not?" He huffs in annoyance.

"After everything that's happened…that's what is on your mind? Why?"

He chuckles dryly. "You're my girlfriend, I don't need a reason."

"Well I do and I want to talk about what happened."

"I don't want to talk about it." He says in anger before moving to go sit on the couch and not face me.

"What was that about Edward?" I ask as I follow him, not allowing him to turn away.

"He disrespected you. I'll never let anyone do that. And the sick way he pretends that he has actually touched you, kissed you, had sex with you…I wanted to kill him for that." He spits out.

"You shouldn't have let him get to you like that. I just ignore him. I know he hasn't been with me, you do to."

"That doesn't change the fact that he disrespected you and treated you like you were some whore." He huffs, his lip snarling at the word.

"Now wait a minute, that reminds me. What the hell was with that kiss in gym? You looked at him right before you kissed me like that."

Edward snorts. "Yeah well he should know what's mine and to back the fuck off."

I boil in anger. "That's probably what got him started Edward! You antagonized him!"

Edward stands up to look down at me. "Oh what so now you're taking his side over your own boyfriend?"

I stare up at him. "No of course not! But the way you were acting I was half expecting you to pee on my leg at any moment and mark your territory!"

Edward crosses his arms defiantly. "I'm not apologizing for that. People need to know to back off."

"You made me feel like a whore Edward. Those kinds of kisses are for just us and you…you shared it with everyone. You weren't kissing me to kiss me, you were kissing me for them. " I say as my eyes get teary. Edwards angry face quickly drops and he suddenly looks pained.

"Bella… I didn't mean for you to feel like that… I never want to make you feel that way. You're my angel. I'm so sorry if you felt that way at all."

I wipe a lone tear and curse mentally at myself for getting so emotional over stuff like this.

He continues on, taking my hands in his and kneeling down so he is at eye level with me. "Please… you have to know that I never want to hurt you..."

I nod and look into his anguished green eyes. "I was so scared for you Edward. I didn't want to see you get hurt…I never want to see you get hurt."

With his left hand, he cups my cheek and moves in closer. "I'm sorry Bella. I love you so much." He says so earnestly and sincerely. The only thing I want to do now is kiss him and forget about it, I want to forget about everything bad that happened.

Slowly I move my head in and kiss the cut on his lip gently. His body stays perfectly still and I pull back to look at his face to see that his eyes are closed. When he senses my hesitation he moves forward and meets my lips once more in vigor. I lean back on the couch and part my legs while his body moves forward against me.

Both of his hands go down to my waist and pull me towards him so that my hips meet his at the edge of the couch. Our hands are frantic to touch one another everywhere. He devours my neck with licks and kisses and I wither to his touch as I grab the bottom of his t-shirt to pull it quickly off of him. He reluctantly breaks contact with me to get it over his head but once discarded his hands cup my face again and pull me in.

I hate fighting with him, but if this is the outcome of it then maybe I should pick some more quarrels. We are both making it up to each other and telling the other we are sorry in a different manner than talking. I feel the bulge in his jeans and I moan as he grunts and shifts against me roughly. All too soon he grabs my shirt and lifts it off before making his way to my chest. My fingers clutch the back of his hair as he kisses and sucks his way down to my breasts, snacking his hand to the back to unclasp my bra.

Suddenly the door flies open. "Edward Cullen you better be here!" Alice shouts as she storms into the living room gasping in shock when she sees the situation before her.

Her hands shoot up to cover her eyes. "Holyshit! Ew, I'm sorry! I didn't know I would walk in on this!"

I quickly stand up and grab my shirt, pulling it over my head and smoothing down my hair. My face is probably three shades of red at the moment because I am pretty mortified that Edward's sister walked in on us like that. What a buzz kill. I am also still flustered from Edward.

Edward stands up quickly and I can tell he is still overwhelmed from a second ago and furious that we were interrupted. His hair is a mess from my fingers and his lips look swollen from the hungry kiss and small cut. "What do you want Alice?" He barks.

Her eyes are still covered when she replies, "I just wanted to know what the hell happened. Dad had to go back to the hospital and Mom is food shopping. Is it safe to look now?"

"Yes and next time please knock." I reply, trying to hide my annoyance because I know it wasn't intentional. I'm more embarrassed than angry.

She moves her hands down and looks at us finally. "Well no offense but this is a 'living room'. Bella's bedroom is right upstairs. I mean you're lucky it wasn't Charlie walking in to see his innocent daughter getting dry humped by the neighbor boy-"

I groan in embarrassment and cover my beat red face.

"If that's all Alice then you can leave now." Edward fumes, but I can tell by his flushed face that he is embarrassed too.

"I'm sorry for that subject change, I'm just a little freaked out. You are my brother and she is my best friend and even though I'm happy for you too, that's just stuff I do not want to see. Anyway, more importantly…how in trouble are you? You didn't get expelled right?" She asks.

I turn to Edward quickly, suddenly worried since that part hadn't crossed my mind when we were fighting.

He runs his fingers through hair and sighs. "No Carlisle helped me out so I'm only suspended for a week." Both Alice and I breathe out a sigh of relief.

"Alright that's all I wanted too know. Thank God." She turned to leave but then stopped. "Shoot Edward, Mom just pulled up. You better come home and explain to her what happened before she has a fit."

Edward nods and looks over at me, appearing as if he hates to leave me.

"It's ok. Esme is probably just worried. Come back over if you can or I'll come to you." He smiles warmly and kisses me again, lingering on my lips.

"Hurry up and for goodness sake put a shirt on Edward." Alice chides as she leaves through the front door.

"I'll see you soon." He says as he kisses the top of my nose and follows her out. I turn to walk into the kitchen thinking he left but he runs back in and scoops we up into his arms, kissing me again. He lowers me down and looks into my eyes with his crooked smile on his face. "I just needed one more." With that he turns and goes out the front door, leaving me standing there staring at the door like an idiot, thinking about when I get to see him again.


	14. Acceptances and Secrets

**Disclaimer: All these characters belong to Stephanie Meyer.**

* * *

After Edward left I didn't really do much of anything. I started my homework which took a good amount of my mind off of things and then started to cook a meal for Charlie. When dinner time rolled around I still had not heard from Edward and Charlie seemed to be running late. Finally the Chief rolled in, surprisingly in a pretty good mood, as I set up the table for dinner. I put a plate out for Edward hoping that he would come over soon. While Charlie was upstairs getting changed out of his uniform I heard the front door open and close. Edward came around the corner with a moody look on his face and gave me a peck on the lips without saying anything before dropping into a kitchen chair. He dropped his head back and closed his eyes as I looked at him in amusement.

"So I take it that things at home didn't go too good?", I whispered as I stood there staring at him.

He scoffed without opening his eyes. Slowly I walked over to him and climbed into his lap, now getting his attention, as I circled my arms around his neck. We sat and looked at each other before he tenderly brushed a piece of hair behind my ear. I leaned forward and kissed the little cut on his lip without taking my eyes from his.

"Thank you." He whispered back with a small smile, gently kissing the tip of my nose.

"For what?"

"For always making things better."

"So are you going to tell me what happened at home?", I questioned again. He grimaced like he didn't want to talk about it when Charlie just happened to start coming down the stairs again.

"I'll tell you after dinner." He said quickly.

I nodded and climbed off him before Charlie walked in, but that didn't stop Edward from giving my bum a little pat as I turned away. I slapped his hand away in mock annoyance earning me my favorite little smirk from him in return.

Charlie smiled at Edward until he saw the damage to his face up close and personal.

"What the hell happened to you Eddie boy?" Charlie asked in concern.

Edward shrugged like it wasn't a big deal, probably tired of telling the story a million times. "Got into a scuffle at school."

Charlie frowned, the responsible and law biding cop coming into play. "Why the hell did you get into a fight?"

Edward looked at me then back at Charlie before answering. "I was protecting your daughter's honor sir."

Charlie looked at me and then nodded. "Good job. I hope the other guy looks worse."

Edward smiled. "Much worse."

I stared at the both of them with am open mouth. "Dad! I thought you don't condone violence!"

Charlie gave an answering shrug before digging into his meal.

"I don't, but when it comes to you anything goes. I know Eddie boy here wouldn't have acted out unless there was a real reason to, so I trust his judgment."

Edward looked very smug with himself, a crooked smiling playing on his face. And rightfully so. It was a known fact that Charlie did not trust teenage boys especially where I was concerned, but Edward had proven himself worthy in Charlie's eyes.

After dinner we watched some T.V. with Charlie before Edward went home for the night. I changed into comfy clothes and washed my face before heading back to my room and finding my smirky-ass boyfriend, who I loved dearly, laying in my bed with his eyes closed. I slipped into bed with him and all too soon he was half laying on top of me with his head on my chest and his arms wrapped around my waist. I gently ran my fingers through his full head of hair in a soothing motion just how I knew he liked it. He hummed in contentment against me and I looked down and saw the happy smile playing on his lips.

"So what happened at home?" I started to ask, while continuing to run my fingers through his hair to keep him relaxed.

He groaned in annoyance and nuzzled into my boob with his signature smile making me roll my eyes.

"Nothing too important. Just some disappointment speeches."

I watched my fingers move through his silky hair as I took in his words. "No punishment?"

He snorted into me before answering, "Well just some rules being put into affect till graduation. But I'm eighteen, so I don't really think that has much affect."

I opened my mouth for more questions when he moved up my body and silenced me with a kiss. Pivoting ever so slightly I found him nestled in between my legs. We kissed deeply as our tongues twisted and played. Edward's one hand was on my cheek as his other made its way up my waist to cup my breast. When his hand made contact with my round bosom he groaned into my mouth and I felt the stirring of little Eddie between my legs. I whimpered lowly as his lips traveled down my neck sucking and kissing as his hand continued to squeeze my breast. Soon his hips began rocking forward ever so slightly and I realized where all of this was heading to. _And oh dear God did I want this to go there. _But… my Dad was down stairs… I didn't want to think about having him a floor below as Edward pillage my body…and god forbid if my father happened to walk in on that pillaging. With as much effort as one could possibly muster I formed some semblance of coherent words.

"Wa--Wait Edward", I moaned as his grinned his very prominent self into a very sensitive and wonderful spot. He hummed in acknowledgment but continued to suck and nibble on my ear lob. _Damn it was heavenly._

Finally I grew the will to I pull back his head by his hair. He looked at me with lust filled eyes. He almost looked intoxicated with lust.

I smiled at the thought and Edward's gentle smile made an appearance before he leaned in to kiss me again. I stopped his lips with my finger so he could listen. "We can't. My dad is downstairs…I cant do that with him right below us." Edward groaned and flopped onto his back.

"Fine," he grumbled as he pulled his arm around me to bring me against him once more. He had his eyes shut as if he could fall asleep at any moment, which I found comical since the view down south showed him to still be at full attention. I chewed on my lip as I thought about how his day had gone and how I had pretty much cocked blocked him. I had read about how horny teenage boys are and Edward seemed to be a prime example of that.

Swiftly I rolled over him and hopped off the bed before quickly heading to the door. Edward looked at me with an amused expression as I opened my bedroom door and stuck my head into the hall. The sounds of my father's snoring floated up the stairs with the TV mixed into the background. I knew he would most likely sleep down there like he did most nights after falling asleep to the TV. I closed the door and locked it before taking my computer chair and positioning it under the door knob just to be safe. After being satisfied with my undertaking I jumped back into the bed with Edward.

"Care to share the cause of that?" He asked as he put his hands behind his head.

I smiled at him and rolled on top of him with my chin on his chest. I kissed the bottom of his slightly stubbly chin before replaying. "How about I show you." I felt his body harden and his breathe quicken as he tried to pull me up to kiss me once again.

"Ut uh" I whispered as I stopped his attempts.

He grunted clearly not understanding my intentions. To make my point more clear I started to lower myself down his body, carefully bringing his pants and boxers down with me.

"Let me try something.." I trailed off as Edward propped up on his elbows and stared down at me with wide dark eyes.

About fifteen minutes later I returned after brushing my teeth to a daze eyed Edward staring up at the ceiling with a smile etched on his face.

"Oh man…I never knew how truly wonderful that could really be…" He seemed to be contemplating his thoughts out loud as I snuggled into his side. He turned so he was facing me and we stared at each other for some time as he gently twirled a lock of my hair around his finger.

"You know I would have… what I mean is you didn't have to clean up after with a tissue." I blushed a deep, deep shade of red in embarrassment about talking about what I just did to him. At the end of that experience Edward had pulled me up just before he finished so I wouldn't have to do the cleanup job, as they say. I wanted him to know though that I would do anything for him.

He stroked my cheek and leaned in to kiss me. "I know and thank you for that but I don't know, I think its disrespectful to expect a girl to do that."

I smiled and kissed him once more.

"I love you. Thank you for that, it was wonderful." He replied starry eyed. I giggled and rolled my eyes.

"Oh no I created a monster."

He smiled and shrugged slightly, not denying my claim. "It wasn't as good as it is to make love to you but it certainly is ranked high on favorite past time activities."

"Shut it." I playfully demanded.

"Would you like me to reciprocate? I still have not done that to you yet and I have to say I am quite eager after your performance just now." He waggled his eyebrows at me.

"No tonight was for you but I will let you do that in the near future. Lets just snug and sleep." He agreed and kissed my head as I fell asleep in his arms.

* * *

The next day at school turned out to be hell. Edward had insisted on driving and picking me up even though he wasn't allowed on school property for a week, and I reluctantly agreed. Once we arrived at school I could see the frustration on his face that he couldn't go in with me and he looked saddened to leave. After reassuring him that I would be fine on my own, he gave me one hell of a kiss before getting back in the car and driving off. So that was how I entered school that day, starry eyed and a little dazed.

Through all of my classes people acted strangely to me, always lowering their voices when I passed by them. Everyone in school knew about the fight and everyone was talking about it. I tried to keep my ears closed for the most part but it was hard with people talking right in front of me as if I wasn't even there. You would have thought the fight was a big HBO boxing match the way they were talking.

"I heard that Edward Cullen went psycho. He pulled out a knife to kill James but they stopped him before he did any damage!" I rolled my eyes as a red headed girl in my math class chatted on with a bunch of other girls in the back.

"Silvia was there and she told me she had never seen anything like it. She said even if he is psycho, it was the hottest thing she'd ever seen." They all giggled at this and I raised my hand quickly to get the bathroom pass, not wanting to hear anymore.

Most of the day passed like that and I was starting to get a bad headache from all the commotion. A few people even had the nerve to ask me if Edward was a crazy like that in the bedroom. I didn't find any of this excitement amusing what so ever.

When the day ended I plopped into Edward's front seat mentally exhausted from trying to block everyone out. I didn't turn to give him a kiss hello but just rubbed my hands over my face and groaned.

Edward's hand went on my knee in a soothing gesture. "Today was bad I take it?"

I looked over at his worried expression and my face softened. Gently I cupped his cheek. "It doesn't matter now, its over. Let's not talk about it." I answered softly. A smile started forming on his lips and I leaned over and brushed my lips against his. It was barely a kiss at first but before I could pull away Edward snaked his hand in my hair to pull me closer, making the kiss heady and deep. A car horn blared behind us making me almost jump out of my seat and eliciting a growl from Edward. I looked behind us and saw that we were indeed causing a line up since we were stopped at the parking lot entrance.

Edward drove us home quickly and ever the gentleman, raced to open my door and get my book bag. Our hands clasped and we walked hand in hand towards my house. Esme suddenly opened her front door and yelled out to us.

"Edward Cullen! You are still grounded until graduation young man. So steer yourself away from Bella's house and come on home."

My eye brows raised and Edward cursed under his breath. This was the first time I had ever seen Esme discipline him but then again Edward had never fought another boy in school before either.

"I'm just hanging out at Bella's, its practically an extension to our home anyway." He offered in a slightly annoyed tone that I had never heard him take with Esme before. She put her hands on her hips and look all the more like the authority figure.

"Now I know that you're eighteen and can make your own decisions but you do live in my household and hope you respect our rules. I'm cutting you some slack. Emmett was grounded for a month when he came home drunk last year. You can go over to Bella's when Charlie comes home from work and she can come over here until then."

I squeezed his hand reassuringly and looked up at him. "That's seems fair. You should listen to her."

He didn't look happy about it but nodded. "Alright we're coming", he yelled to Esme.

She smiled but before she turned around to go inside she said one last thing. "Oh before you do, I think both of you should check the mail box." With that she turned and went inside. Leaving us both stooped.

We both looked up at each other confusingly and then at the mailbox. "I'll check mine, you check yours?" I questioned.

"Deal" Edward replied before we both sprinted off. I quickly opened in up and reached in, grabbing a bunch of letters, one being significantly big. I looked down at the big envelope in my hand and the familiar writing of the University of Washington written on the front. I had applied there early on in the school year but didn't know for sure if Edward had. He had mentioned it once that he had wanted too but then all after all the issues we had this year, I never found out if he had sent it in. Come to think of it, I never found out any of the colleges he actually applied to. I looked across the lawn at Edward standing by his mailbox holding a similar envelope. We looked up at each other and a smile broke out of our faces.

"Washington?!" I yelled across the lawn. His smile grew and he nodded his head. I screamed and jumped in the air before running over and jumping on to him. He stumbled back at the sudden impact but was laughing at my reaction and holding me up as my legs wrapped around him.

I was peppering his face with quick kisses and speaking between each one. "I'm so happy right now!"

He chuckled. "We didn't even open them up yet, so we don't even know if we both got in."

I snorted. "They don't send you a big envelope like this if your rejected. Feel these things, they're packed with stuff."

He still had a big grin on his face and I knew he believed me too. "Come on, lets go tell Esme", he said as he walked towards the house with me still wrapped around him.

"I have a feeling she already knows."

Once inside he lowered me down and we ripped open the envelopes to see that we both were in fact accepted. I couldn't help my excitement over the thought of Edward and I going away to the same school next year. Knowing that this was going to last. We were going to last.

Esme confessed that she saw the mail delivered and left it for us to open together. She was so happy that she forgot about her little parental supervision law and let Edward and I hang out in his room. The second his door closed I tackled the boy to his bed.

"So we really are going to do this then?" I asked out of breath, laying on top of him.

His fingertips touched the back of my shirt and started to lift it up while his lips met my neck. "God yes." He huskily whispered into my skin making me shiver. I pushed back from him to look in his eyes and saw that familiar lust filled daze. My eyes widened when I realized what he thought I was talking about and rolled over in a frustrated groan.

"No Edward not that. I'm talking about college. About us going to the same school maybe. I mean I know you applied other places too so I don't want to make you go anywhere just because of me and-" I started to ramble in a nervous banter.

My nervous rambling was cut off by Edward rolling on top of me and kissing my lips. When he pulled back he stared down into my eyes. "Yes we really are going to. I'll go wherever you go Bella."

I toyed with his hair as I looked up at him and wondered exactly what other options he was giving up to go to school with me.

"Where else did you apply? I mean we really didn't talk about college at all since it was a sore subject but I'm curious?" I asked him. His eyes immediately left mine and he ducked his head into the crook of my head, relaxing against my body.

"Nowhere special. Besides, this is what I want now so those things don't matter."

My brows furrowed at his brush-off reply but before I could question him for more specifics he made me forget what I was even thinking about when his mouth met mine and I lost myself into his kiss.

Things heated up as Edward pulled my shirt up exposing my bra. Soon my bra cup was pulled down and Edward resumed is kissing and suckling on my chest. I groaned and threaded my fingers into his hair.

"Edward! Honey can you help me move this box to the garage?", Esme called from downstairs.

Edward stopped his sucking and rested his cheek against me breathing heavily. With a groan he lifted himself off of me. I smirked in amusement as he readjusted himself down below as he looked at me with a playful glint in his eye.

"We will resume this as soon as I get back." He pointed at me in determination before sprinting off. I giggled at his retreating form before laying back on the bed. Once my bra and shirt were fixed, I looked around his room. As I scanned around I looked at he garbage can in the corner with an envelop peaking out.

With curiosity getting the better of me I quickly stood up and peaked out the door to make sure he was not coming back yet. Then even more quickly I extracted the envelop from the trash and examined it. It was an envelop from Stanford University, much like the one we had just received today. I opened it and scanned it quickly. My heart sunk as I read that he had been accepted with a half scholarship accompanying his acceptance to the university.

I didn't know if I should be more upset about him lying to me or more upset with myself for making him think that this should be something he should throw in the trash because of our relationship.

Suddenly I heard his laugh from the bottom of the stairs and quickly put the envelop in my back pack before he returned.

* * *

**AN**:It has been a hell of a long time and for that I apologize. Really really sorry. I might make this story a little bit longer than intended because I changed my mind on the ending. Please review and again sorry for the wait.


	15. Heavy Weight

**Disclaimer: All these characters belong to Stephanie Meyer.**

* * *

Edward reentered the room just as I was zipping up my backpack. A smirk was plastered on his face as he quickly tugged his shoes off, running over to embrace me. I stood stock still from all of the new things that I had just discovered seconds before.

"So where were we…", he whispered before tugging on my earlobe with his teeth as his hands snaked down to cup my butt. Sensing my frigid form, he pull back to look at me, the lust quickly leaving his face.

"Bella? What's wrong?" He questioned with concern. _I'm ruining your future, that's what is wrong._

I swallowed the lump in my throat and leaned my head into his chest so he couldn't see me.

"Nothing I just missed you is all."

He kissed my head, holding me tightly. "I missed up to. Are you sure nothing is wrong?"

I nodded into his chest and started to kiss him as a distraction for his forming thoughts. It worked. After a long make out ,with not so innocent grouping, I was left with swollen lips and a guilty feeling churning my stomach around. Guilty over snooping and guilty of the being the possible reason for him to not go to Stanford. I laid with my arms wrapped around his waist and his chin on my head. My nose was up against the hollow at the base of his neck and I breathed in the smell of his skin before sighing.

"Edward?" I whispered, afraid he had fallen asleep already.

"Mhm?"

I was going to tell him about the letter, but I just couldn't get the words out. "I love you."

A kiss was placed upon my head before he whispered the sediment back.

* * *

The whole rest of the week was complete hell. Not having Edward around sucked but what was really bothering me was the weight of the Stanford letter that I still had yet to reveal I found. Half of me wanted to come out and say to him that I found it and convince him to not give this opportunity up and the other part of me screamed to pretend that I never found it and let us go off to college together. It would be amazing if I didn't know he had been accepted somewhere better, somewhere where he could really excel But as luck would have it, I found that letter for a reason. I would be selfish if I didn't confront him about this. He was only eighteen and already settling on me, giving everything up for me.

I made plans to approach him with it eventually but for the time being I just went on one day after the other. James had been back at school sooner than Edward since he didn't get as harsh a suspension. I am not sure why since he started the whole thing but the boy looked like shit. His nose was fucked up and he had to healing, and nasty looking, black eyes. He didn't even look at me and seemed to keep to himself.

That day that James came back to school Emmett must of texted Edward the news because during lunch I saw a familiar head of copper hair peaking out from behind a bush by the cafeteria window. I rolled my eyes at how neurotic and worried he was. When he picked me from school I called him out on his little 'James Bond' stunt, making him turn red at having been caught. Of course that didn't stop him asking me every possible question about James and the few times I was in close proximity to him.. When Edward asked me the specific number of times James made eye contact with me, I told him that he was getting a little ridiculous. After I filled him in on James' loner status and almost fear of getting near me, Edward turned smug and stopped the questioning.

That same day, we had another attempt at sex, but things were not working to our advantage. Esme was very present, always checking up on us and Alice seemed to want some girl time as well. Horny Edward was very difficult to get him off of you and Alice compared him to a dog on a fire hydrant. Emmett found this amusing and we became the butt of the joke for the rest of the night.

After spending sometime with the family we retreated under false pretenses of homework to make out in his room. Edward's tongue and fingers soon convinced me to break the rules against sex in the house while the family were downstairs. I couldn't help myself and apparently he couldn't either. We were so eager for each other that we remained partially dressed. Of course Edward insisted on me being topless so I was left with only one pant leg and side of my underwear on. Edward only pulled his down pants down enough to get the job done. It still hurt slightly when he pushed in but Edward clenched his eyes shut and stood still for me to adjust. He was panting and shaking from the feeling as I watched on in amazement.

"Its amazing. I just want to literally do this for the rest of my life. No breaks, no stops." He declared.

I laughed out loud at his comment while he smirked before he moved again and we both shut up and started moaning instead. And then of course because the universe hates us, about five thrusts in Edward's door burst open.

"Mom got us Beatles Rock Band!" Emmett shouted followed by an- "OH SHIT!! AHHHHH!!", before he ran from the room without even shutting the door. The sounds of him yelling carried from the hallway as I quickly shoved Edward out of and off of me, making him fall to the floor in a groan. I quickly put my other pant leg on as Edward pulled his up with a look of fury on his face.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me. Of all the fucking times..." He grumbled before he ran out the door in direction of Emmett. I quickly put on my bra and shirt as I listened to his heavy thundering footsteps, followed by pounding on a door.

"Emmett!!! I'm going to kick the shit out you!!", he yelled as he pounded on the bathroom door that Emmett was holed up.

"I'm the victim! I saw your ass!…. Thrusting!!…Oh god make the images stop appearing. I saw Bella's boobies!", Emmett yelled back.

"Don't you fucking say or think about Bella's boobies, Emmet. Erase it, erase it from you mind right now." Edward screamed back, apparently very possessive of them.

I was mortified and had to leave. To my utter embarrassment, as I snuck down the stairs beet red, Esme came out of the kitchen saying she heard yelling. That mortified me even more and I made it half way home before Edward caught up to me. He reassured me that Emmett would forget about the incident and knock from now on but I was still uncomfortable.

"This is why we can't have sex if there are other people in the house." I sighed, smoothing a fallen lock back into his hair.

He looked like a puppy dog that had just been kicked but nodded in affirmation.

The next time I saw Emmett was awkward as hell. He politely said hello and I could see he was trying really hard to not look at me as Edward glared on. That only lasted a few days however and then everything was back to normal.

Edward was excited to be back in school the following week and James seemed even more frightened of Edward than he was me. Edward's 'overly-protective-caveman- persona' took affect whenever we had class together, but he seemed to be in a happy mood none the less. Whenever we were asked by teachers what schools we were attending next year Edward happily told them Washington State. This of course made my quilt resurface and that nagging acceptance letter came into my mind. When I was not with Edward I would sit and stare at it for hours on end.

Graduation was fast approaching and I needed to address the issue soon, but I kept pushing it off. Edward and I were attached at the hip and our relationship continued to grow stronger and stronger. All we wanted to do was spend constant time together and ached for one another when we were apart on the rare occasions. I could not explain the pull that had now formed between us. Maybe it was always there but now that we had acknowledged it, it was stronger then ever.

I carried that stupid Stanford letter around with me everyday as a reminder of what I was pushing off and making him give up. It was eating me up and I had to act soon because we were going to send in our money soon for the schools. Charlie had made a comment that we had to getting going on the process soon and the reality of the situation really set in.

One night after dinner at the Cullen's, Edward went up stairs to play rock band with Emmett as I went into the kitchen to get a glass of water. Carlisle was looking over some medical papers at the table and greeted me warmly, before continuing on with his work.

I needed to talk to someone but I didn't want to inform Carlisle of the letter yet. I preoccupied myself with getting a glass of water and gulping it down quickly because of my nervousness.

"Carlisle did Edward apply to another schools?", I asked trying to sound nonchalant as I leaned against the counter.

Carlisle took his reading glasses off before turning to me. "I recommended some to him but Esme and I did not push him any which way. We just told him to make sure he sent out at least four or five applications to schools of his choosing. He asked for money for the admission fees for at least five schools I believe but did not give me their names."

I nodded before I continued, "Did you guys see any acceptance letters in the mail for him or anything?"

Carlisle regarded me slowly. "Edward has been very anxious to get the mail for the past couple of weeks. If anything came in I would not have seen it."

I nodded again and looked down at my glass. "Can I ask your advise about something Carlisle?"

He sat up straighter and gave me his full attention. "Of course Bella."

My palms grew sweaty and I took in a deep breath. "My friend Angela and her boyfriend are going to the same college together next year and are very happy. But not she just learned that he had been accepted into an Ivy League school with a scholarship and had kept it from her with the possible intentions of giving it all up for her, for something that could possibly not even work out in the future. And it's eating her up inside that he could be giving up an amazing possibility without thinking things through yet and considering the future…"

As I finished my rant I had tears falling down my face as all of my emotions and worries burst out of me.

"What do you think she should do?", I asked with a hiccup. Carlisle looked on sadly as I stood there with my arms wrapped around my middle.

"I think she already knows." He replied with a sigh. His eyes made it clear that he knew I was not talking about my friend Angela.

A few more tears fell down my face because I knew he was right. I wouldn't be so upset over it if I didn't already know what I was going to do. Carlisle stood up and brought me a tissue. Suddenly Edward's voice rang out as I heard his footsteps approaching the kitchen.

"Bells?"

I quickly tried to wipe away the fallen tears as Edward strolled in with a grin on his face. Upon seeing me, his walk slowed and his face filled concern

"Bella? What's wrong?"

I shook my head and went to turn away.

Carlisle spoke up for me. "I was telling Bella a hospital story and she became a little choked up about it." _Thank you Carlisle. _I eyed him my appreciation and he nodded in returned.

Edward's arms wrapped around me and he kissed my forehead.

"It's ok baby."

I put a smile on my face and understood that I had now come to a decision on what I thought Edward should do, the hard part would now be to confront him.

* * *

A week later on a Saturday, I stayed in with Edward and his siblings because of the heavy rainfalls Forks was experiencing. Most of it was spent with Alice, Emmett, and Edward watching movies but once we were alone I was going to talk to him about Stanford. Esme and Carlisle went to visit a friend who lived about two hours away so we were going to sleep at his place that night. Edward needed to run a few errands that Esme had asked of him. I knew that the I had been putting of my cleaning duties at home so I opted to stay home to clean up the house a bit and start dinner for the both of us, and most likely Charlie as well. I was cooking up some spaghetti and meatballs when the shrill of the telephone rang out through the kitchen. I padded over to answer it as I tested the taste of my tomato sauce.

"Swan residence." I answered in a playful tone.

"Bella. Its Dad." Charlie's gruff voice replied. I knew he was working the afternoon shift but he wasn't the type to call while he was at work. I brushed off my suspicions though.

"Hey Dad, how's work going?"

I thought I heard him cough uncomfortably before he continued. "It's ok. Listen, before I tell you why I called, I'm going to let you know that everything is ok and you don't have to be worried alright?"

Now that made me worried.

"Okay.. What is it?" My voice started to shake with uncertainty.

My father sighed over the phone as if surrendering to the inevitable. "Ok just remember, everything is ok. I'm here with Edward. He was in a minor car accident."

My throat closed up from his words and panic coursed through me. My father seemed to sense that I was about to freak out.

"Bella don't get into hysterics. He is **fine**, but he will most likely need you to come pick him up since I don't think he will be able to drive his car."

I shook my head quickly to clear it of the panic building so I could get the information on where I could find him, needing to see him and hold him to know for certain that everything was alright. Charlie gave me the directions to where he was before I raced out of the house without even turning off the lights or locking the door. I did turn the oven off though, thinking that coming home to a burned down house was not a good idea.

I speed through Forks as fast as I could needing to get to Edward as quickly as possible, knowing I wouldn't be able to keep it together until I saw him safe and in one piece. I drove for about 20 minutes until I turned onto a road with trees on both sides and houses nowhere in sight.

It was a scenic road that I always loved to drive along whenever I was with Edward. The green lush trees almost pushed out of the woods onto the road. I saw lights up ahead and made out two police cars and an ambulance. Tears formed in my eyes as I thought of the possibility of him being injured.

I quickly pulled over before I ran to the scene, franticly looking for that bronze head of hair. It was pouring out and I was already very getting drenched when my father saw me first and approached with hands drawn up in caution. I ignored him and continued to look around for Edward.

"Where is he? Is he in the ambulance? What happened?" I questioned desperately.

"He doesn't appear to be injured, it was just a precaution. From what we gathered from Edward, a deer ran out onto the road and he swerved to avoid it, sideswiping a tree stump instead. He's over there sitting by the car." I followed my father's pointing finger until I saw Edward's car further up ahead. Edward was sitting on the side of the rode with his head in his hands, clutching his hair.

I ran over to him quickly, squatting down and wrapping my arms around him as a few tears fell in relief. I pulled back and inspected him to make sure he was ok as he looked up from the ground. Apart from being soaking wet, he looked perfectly good.

His eyes were red however and it looked like he had been crying.

"Are you ok?" I whispered gently as I clutched his face in my hands. He looked so sad and desolate but nodded and looked back at the ground. I leaned in and peppered his face with kisses because I had never been so glad to see him before in my whole life. He remained quiet and closed his eyes.

I looked to my right and saw his car for the first time as the rain started to tamper off. The whole passenger side door was ripped from what looked like a cut tree stump that he had sideswiped into. Both his tires on the one side looked blown. If it had been a whole tree the damage would have been worse. I didn't even want to think about what could have happened as I started to choke up and pulled him tighter against me.

Charlie walked over and asked if I could bring him home. I nodded and grabbed Edward's hand to stand up. He was reluctant at first so I ran my fingers through his hair to relax him.

"We are just going to go back to my house ok?"

He nodded without looking at Charlie and I and headed for my car.

Charlie and I both watched Edward walk away before he spoke. "Listen I called Esme and Carlisle and told them what happened since I know they are away, but of course they are concerned even though I reassured them everything was fine. They want to come back tonight but there was some road closings because of flooding so they can't get here until tomorrow. I think Edward's a little spooked still and he will probably have a sore neck tomorrow so take care of the boy. I probably won't be home until late tonight so I'm allowing Edward to stay over. Be good and I'll see you when I get home."

I nodded as Charlie kissed the top of my head and sent me on my way. It started to pour again so I ran to get into the car quickly. The ride back home was very quiet. Edward did not speak and just stared out the window into the green array.

When we came home Alice and Emmett both ran over to see if Edward was ok. I spoke to both Esme and Carlisle on the phone to reassure them he was fine. Emmett and Alice both left after I urged them that Edward needed his to rest. He didn't even speak to them when they were here. I set out a plate for him to eat but he barely touched it no matter how much I tried to get him to. I cleared everything away and saved a plate for Charlie as Edward sat at the table looking down at his hands.

When I was finished I took his hand and brought him upstairs, pulling off his wet shirt and jeans, leaving him only in a pair of boxer briefs as he just sat on my bed like a zombie. I pulled my damp shirt and shorts off before going to me dresser and pulling out clothes for us. As I turned around our dry clothes in my hands, I saw his hands in his hair again with his arms resting on his knees.

I sighed, trying to figure out what he was feeling and wanting to make it better. I knew his car was wrecked now so I figured that and the near death experience was freaking him out.

"I know you might be upset about your car but you are fine and that's the important thing." I said as I held out a spare shirt and basketball shorts of his to put on.

Edward finally looked up at me from his hands with a shocked expression, ignoring the clothes I offered him. "That's what you think I'm fucking upset about?" He replied with his brow furrowed and tone laced with disgust. Before I could speak he angrily stood up.

"Do you know what I was thinking before that damn deer came out onto the road?" He asked, his voice raising significantly.

My eyes widened but before I could answer he continued in a lower tone, "I was thinking about you. Your voice, your face, your smell. Everything that I love about you, everything that you are. There was even that song playing that you hate but always sing along to, playing on the radio. And there I was, driving with this image of you laughing and singing next to me. The car air was even filled with your scent. For a second it was like you were sitting in that car with me like you always are."

Edward grew quiet for a minute and looked off to the side as if he was picturing that scene again until he shook his head and his brows furrowed again in anger. "And then the fucking deer ran out into the road and I swerved towards the right as quickly as I could so I wouldn't hit it. Everything happened so fast, my eyes closed but I heard the metal ripping. When I finally hit the break I opened my eyes and I looked over to the passenger side of the car first. I was looking for you. I thought you were with me and when I looked over that whole side of the car was ripped up and open…" His voice quivered and he looked down at his feet. "And all I could think of was that I killed you to avoid hitting a deer. That you were dead because of me."

I walked over to him and cupped his face to make him look at me. "I'm here, I'm fine. You didn't kill me."

He shook his head dejectedly. "No I didn't. But if you were with me I would have. This whole time I thought nobody was good enough for you but I'm not any safer for you then anyone else. After my parents died and I met you I have had this obsession with keeping you close. Because if I kept you close I could keep you safe, keep you alive. But now… If I had kept you close today I would have lost you too Bella." He chocked as his eyes began to fill with tears. I swallowed to the lump in my throat and saw my eyes become equally blurry.

"Stop it. Ok? I am fine and you are fine. You can't concentrate on what might have happened. It didn't happen because it wasn't suppose to happen, ok? At least not today. You can't live your life scared of what could happen. We don't have control over some things. You just have to live for what you have now."

He stared into my eyes as a single tear fell down his cheek and I rubbed it away with my thumb.

"I'm a selfish bastard though and I need you, even when I know I'm not good enough, not any better than all the guys I ever chased away from you." He said this with complete honesty in his eyes and I knew he actually believed it. I became angry and grabbed his side to bring him towards me.

"You are the only thing I want, don't you get it? No one will ever be as good as you because you are the only thing I want and need. I belong to you as much as you belong to me."

His eyes looked tortured but he quickly grabbed my hips and brought me flush against him. His hands slid down my hips until they rested on my backside and he grinded his erection into my stomach.

"I need you.." He trembled.

"Yes." I barely whispered as he lifted me up so my legs wrapped around him. But instead of going to the bed he sank onto the floor.

I pushed down his bowers with my feet, and unhooked my bra as he slid my underwear down my legs, while still holding me. When we made it to the floor we both sat up with me straddling his waist as we faced each other completely bare and open. We devoured one another by licking, sucking, nipping at each others' necks, ears, lips and face, before Edward pulled back to look at me while reaching down to align himself. I kept my eyes on him the whole time as I lifted up and sat down on him, reveling in the feeling of him filling me up inside. My body silently cheered a welcome home because it knew emotionally and physically that he was the only one who could fill that void in me completely, the only one to make me whole.

We both groaned at the sensation of me taking him fully inside and my breathing picked up as I slowly lifted and sat back down.

"Oh god do I need you. I'll never have enough." He whispered into my hair as we clung to one another, as if we could not get close enough.

He put his left hand on my waist to help me move while his right hand went to the back of my neck, bringing my forehead against him.

We began to move in sync with each other and I whimpered against the feeling of him, making him pull me in tightly. We both gasped at him sinking deeper and our rhythm picked up. Edward groans and grunts made me quiver and moan from the intense sensations I was feeling. I didn't know what was happening but it had never happened before during the last two sex encounters. A warm tight ball of good feeling started to form in my lower belly and the more I worked, and the more Edward pushed against me, the bigger that ball grew. I was kissing Edward as I felt this unbelievable pleasurable sensation building at a wrapping pace, making me gasp into his open mouth. Edward pulled back with wonder in his eyes as we continued to move and I bit my lip to keep in my screams. Suddenly that tight ball within me exploded and I grabbed Edward fast and hard against me needing something, anything to hold onto while I rode it out. I mumbled things incoherently as the wave continued to crash over me.

It was nothing that I had ever felt before and Edward had given it to me. I heard him groan loudly into my shoulder before pushing up forcefully one more time and reaching the end as well. His hips continued to move up into me slowly, the whole time murmuring his love for me, until the pace decreased into a standstill, leaving both of us panting into each others skins. I pulled away to look at his face and his eyes were half closed, a slight perspiration on his forehead as I ran my fingers once over his face. He closed his eyes and then opened them a second later, looking at me awe and still very much connected.

He slowly traced his finger tips against my flushed cheeks before whispering, "What was that? I felt…you tighten."

I breathed in deeply knowing I had an orgasm. I had had them before with the other things we had done but this was my first one to happen when we were joined like this.

"You." I whispered before kissing his lips softly.

That night we laid in bed as the rain gently tapped against the window much like the first night we came together.

Esme and Carlisle were a nervous wreck over Edward's accident when they came home the next day. They did not blame him for anything though and I even heard them whispering about getting him a new car for graduation. Edward ended up having a sore neck the next day from whip lash, so I doted and cared for him the best I could. The whole day he was in man heaven, laying in bed surrounded by special treats and foods that Esme had cooked to appease him. He did not ask me to do much but lay with him and requested sexual favors playfully, saying that would help his neck. I made him as happy as I could and he seemed to be in the best of spirits as if yesterday did not even happen.

* * *

A few days later I waited at home on the couch as Edward was working out at the gym with Emmet. I fiddled with my hands nervously in my lap as I went over what I was going to say to him. I had thought about it all night and it needed to be done soon because time was running out. I heard Emmett's jeep pull up in front of the Cullen's house and expected Edward to take a shower first before heading over. Charlie was off at work still and Esme had seemed to forget about Edward's grounding since the accident. To my great surprise my front door opened and Edward walked in still sweaty with a gym bag on his shoulder.

When he saw him he headed over and took my hand to pull me up, giving me a quick peck on the lips.

"Charlie isn't home so I thought I could take my shower over here… with you." He raised his eyebrows suggestively. My plan was working at all as desire flamed deep in my belly. I pushed the thoughts of wet, naked Edward aside and focused on the plan. He seemed to see my hesitation and immediately became concerned.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, there's just something I want to talk to you about. Will you please sit?"

The unease on his face grew but he took my direction. I sat down next to him and he immediately grasped my hand.

"Are you… are you pregnant?" He gulped.

My eyes widened in shock. "What? No. No, no. That's not what this is about. Besides I'm on the pill, you know that."

His cheeks grew red in embarrassment and he grinned sheepishly. "Yeah I know, but sometimes things happen…I don't know, I just ran to conclusions."

I nodded and turned to my side to open my backpack. I took out the envelope and put it in his hands.

Edward stared down at it before looking up into my eyes.

"Where did you get this?" He asked cautiously.

"In your trashcan." I stated, looking down at my hands, ashamed that I had snooped.

"Well that is where you should have left it." He replied.

I looked up into his eyes as he glared down at me.

With a determined look I continued on. "We need to talk about this."

He swiftly stood up, clasping the envelop tightly. "No we don't. I threw this out because I made up my mind. End of discussion."

"No. This is not the end of the discussion. You can't give up an opportunity like this." I spoke with conviction.

I stood up so I was the one left sitting and stood my ground. He seemed to snarl at my remark.

"I didn't give any opportunity up. I chose another one, one that involves you." He shouted.

"I won't let you give all of this up for me." I pleaded.

He began to pace the room clutching his hair furiously.

"Do Esme and Carlisle know you are giving this up?" I questioned as he growled in frustration.

"This is my decision, not theirs, and not even yours Bella."

My anger kicked in on that remark. "Not my decision yet somehow the weight of it presses down heavily on me. You just told me you are giving up going to an Ivy League school for me."

"Yes I am. If I received a full scholarship to fucking Princeton I would give it up for you."

He raised the envelop in his fist. "Don't you think I looked into this? Do you know how many miles it is from Washington State to Stanford? 843 miles Bella. That's about fourteen hours away from you. I don't even want one hour away from you."

"I can't let you give up something like this for us. I love you so much and this is an opportunity that you can not pass on." I pleaded to him with desperate eyes.

He stopped his passing with a determined look in his eyes. "No. I'm not going Bella. I just applied to see if I would get it. It does not matter. So please lets just drop this."

I shook my head and rubbed my forehead, which now started to pound in my ears. This was a battle that I was not going to win easily. "What are you afraid of Edward? Why would you give something like this up?"

He walked over to me and took my hands in his. "Being away from you. Making sure you are safe."

I smoothed the fallen hair off of his forehead. "You just said a couple of days ago that you realized that you couldn't protect me from everything."

Edward's eyes narrowed. "Don't throw my words back at me."

He raised the envelop up and tore it in half in front on my eyes as an act of defiance. I had a feeling that he would of done something like that so I was prepared.

"That doesn't make it go away Edward. And also that was just one of many photo copied papers. I gave Carlisle the original one yesterday. Your parents both know now."

Edward was the one shocked now. "Why would you do that?"

"Because this is important Edward. If I willingly let you give this up it would eat away at me forever and one day you would resent me. Am I the only reason why you are not choosing this?" I asked, pointing to the torn pieces, now on the ground. I needed to know, because if there was more to it than just me, maybe I could accept it.

He stepped towards me and pulled me into a hug. "Isn't that enough?"

I pushed away at his words so I could look him in the eyes knowing that the burden was upon me alone. "No, its not." I breathed out. "If you give this up because of me, you'll lose me."

* * *

**AN**: Hope you liked the update. Please review, it gets me writing faster.

Recommended stories that I have read and loved:

The University of Edward Masen by SebastienRobichaud

The Misapprehension of Bella Swan by hunterhunting

Just Wait by InstantKarmaGirl

They are all excellent reads and many times the cause of me not updating.


	16. Uncertain Future

Silence filled the air as we both stare each other down. I couldn't believe I had thrown an ultimatum up like that and as the words left my mouth I felt my stomach drop and my brain scream in sudden fear to take back my words.

He stood stock still, just staring at me. "What are you talking about? I'll lose you?"

I simply nodded my head and looked down, unable to say the actual words.

"You would break up with me…. if I chose Washington State?" His voice whispered in disbelief. I didn't want to answer, but he needed to understand.

"You would resent me Edward. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but eventually you would look back and see that I was the reason you gave up on all of this."

His face dropped and he looked deflated.

"How could I ever resent happiness?" He whispered.

My stomach was literally at my feet, gazing at the fragile look on his face. Before I could speak he turned away quickly. "I need to… just think for a bit."

That's how I was left standing a good twenty minutes after he left. Alone and staring at my now closed front door. An overwhelming anxiety filled me that I could actually lose him because of the stupidity of my words.

But this is his future.

Shit.

I didn't expect him to walk away to think. I expected him to choose me. What if he doesn't?

If he chooses Washington, could I really go through with breaking up with him? No definitely not. I know that with certainty but he seems to not be able to call my bluff.

I must have gone to sit on the living room couch because Charlie walked in with a pizza in his hands and a smile on his face.

"Hey kiddo. Want some pizza?"

I pulled myself out of my daze and looked up suddenly wondering how much time had gone by since Edward left.

"What time is it?"

"Seven. I called the house and your phone but you didn't answer."

I quickly stood up and walked over to my bag to get my cell. Sure enough there was a missed call from my Dad but that was it.

No text or missed call from him. Looking down I saw the background of my phone. The picture was taken last week when I had attempted to take a picture of Edward sleeping but just as I was going to take the picture a knowing smirk appeared on his face.

"Bell, pizza?" Charlie asked. I must have forgotten he was there.

"I'm not really hungry. I have to go out for a little bit. I'll be back."

Without saying anything else I took my bag and left the house, crossing the lawn to the Cullen's.

Not bothering to knock I walked in and went up the stairs to his room. Empty.

Alice had her door open and was painting her nails. She heard me but didn't look up.

"He's in a mood. Went for a walk I think, just a little while ago."

"Thanks Al."

Soon I was out of the door and in my truck, figuring that driving would be faster.

After about ten minutes of driving I drove past the high school and parked, going there on instinct.

Walking around the corner I saw him sitting on a bleacher a distance away. Cautiously I walked over to him from the back. When I was to the right of him, he gave me a side-glance before looking down at his hands on his lap.

Silence surrounded us except for the sound of the light drizzle that had begun to fall. It was starting to get dark out.

He broke the silence first as I began to bite my nails in anxiety.

"This is a catch 22. If I choose Washington you'll break up with me and if I choose Stanford I leave you. Both ways I lose you."

"Stop that," he says gently as he pulls my fingers away from my mouth.

I hold his hand tightly and straddle the bench fully to face him. "We could make Stanford work. Don't think you are losing me in any way by being away from me. We will make it work."

He didn't say anything but continued to stare into my eyes as if he was trying to catch me telling a lie.

After a silent stare off Edward lowered his head dejectedly. "Promise?"

I moved so I was flush against him and looked up into his eyes. "I promise. I love you and I don't want to lose you either. You are just as important to me as I am to you. That's why I'm not being selfish and taking away all of your opportunities."

He took in a took breathe and exhaled slowly. "If I do this its for you, I don't want to lose you."

I shook my head at his words. "No Edward. You have to do this for yourself. I will be right by you but this needs to be your decision."

Edward scoffs. "Well you gave me an ultimatum. It's kind of forcing me in a certain direction."

"I never said we would breakup. I just don't like the thought of you not going to the school you deserve to go to and I'm afraid it will sit in my conscious for as long as we are together. Take this chance Edward. Or at least consider it. I know there is more to this that meets the eye. You didn't just apply there just to see if you got in."

He sighed against my head knowing I was right. He had applied because he had considered the school and considered his future there. He was only picking the other school because of me.

After another small silence hung in the air, Edward's face slowly showed a smile forming.

"I want as much sex as your body can muster before we both leave," he teasingly whispered.

I giggled into his chest and pulled away to lower him down into a kiss. "That's all you will miss? Not my cunning personality and sense of humor?"

"Of course I'll miss that but phone calls will alleviate that. Physically, I wont get to touch you."

"Anything you want. We have the whole summer ahead of us still." I snuggled against his chest.

We were quiet on the ride home, just holding hands and contemplating what the future held in store for us. After sneaking Edward up to my room, we laid side-by-side, Edward's fingers tracing the shape of my face.

"God what am I going to do when you're not close to me. I haven't spent a night away for the past twelve years…" he trailed off as the beginnings of anxiety showed on his face.

"Shh…. don't think about that now. We have time. Just feel." With that I brought his hand up to cup my breast as my mouth extended to his. He groaned into my mouth and brought my hips forward, trying to mesh our bodies as close together as we could get. For the next couple of hours all we did was feel.

* * *

"Well that was the shortest graduation that I've ever been too," Charlie grumbled as a group of us walked across the main field.

"I personally liked it," I stated happily as I walked alongside Edward with my arm around his waist, his slung across my shoulders. He leaned down and kissed my head.

"That's what the school gets when they have an outdoor graduation as a severe thunderstorm approaches," Charlie mutters again. He seemed to be happy though and I swear I saw his eyes sparkle when he told me how proud he was of me.

My mom made a surprise visit in for the graduation without her husband Phil in tow, which was a first, but she brushed off questions about it and told me how happy she was for me. I hadn't seen her since early last summer when Edward came with me to visit her for four days. Charlie seemed a little uncomfortable around her but every once and awhile I would catch him staring at her. If he saw me catch him, his cheeks would pink up before he quickly turned away.

My mother was looking a lot better then when I had last seen her. She had a healthy tan and looked thinner and toner than she had ever before. She was only thirty-six but I thought she looked to be in her late twenties. She was certainly happy to hear that when I told her it as well. Of course Edward had to comment that she was a 'M.I.L.F.' and he was happy I had good genes and would look good when I got older. That earned him a tackle from me, which then led to other things.

"At least you didn't fall when you were running across the stage to get your diploma." Alice jokingly nudged me in the side.

"Ha, ha, ha. Very funny." I was very nervous that would be the case as the principle read of the names of students with lightening speed as the thunder began to rumble and the big drops began to fall.

"She's not all that spazzy, she can balance very well when she puts her mind to it," Edward retorted with his signature smirk.

I looked up at him in horror as he gave me a sly wink. I knew he was referring to the strange positions we had tried during some of our sexual rendezvous. Many of the crazier attempts were fails but we had fun trying and it certainly made us laugh.

However, it was not something that needed to be brought up in front of the whole Cullen family and my father. Unfortunately, when Edward had sex on his mind everything else in the world was of little concern to him. I pinched his arm and gave my best glare but he laughed and wrapped his arms tighter around me.

"Honey I would love to see your prom pictures when we get back to the house!" My mom exclaimed as she walked next towards me as we headed towards the car. Charlie huffed a little bit and I had a feeling that he didn't want mom to come back to the house. It would be the first time she set foot in the house since the end of their marriage.

Renee had insisted that she was staying in a hotel so she wouldn't be a bother but I complained and told her to just take my room. That didn't go over to well with Charlie, but I had suckered him into it in the end.

Esme threw a small family party back at the Cullen's house so my family went over there after graduation was over. It was small with their grandparents coming in to celebrate as well as some aunts, uncles, and cousins. Edward pulled me down onto his lap on the couch while we watched Emmett get his ass kicked in a video game by his 7 year old cousin Collin, who's mother was Esme's sister Caroline. I laughed as Emmett tried his hardest to defeat the kid, who won with a smug look on his face, which made me laugh.

I felt a hand on my face and looked down at Edward staring back up at me adoringly.

"I love your giggle," he replied before kissing my lips tenderly. As he went back to watching Emmett I looked across the room at my mother staring at me intently. I blushed at the obvious show of affection that I had shown with Edward in front of her and stood up to get a drink.

The party slowed down eventually as Esme began setting up sleeping arrangements for the out of town guests.

"Bells I'm heading home now, can you uh bring home your mother when she wants to leave? Get her situated?" Charlie asked with a hint of anxiety in his voice. I knew my father did not want to deal with it and he was doing as much as he could already which really made me proud of him.

"Sure Dad, no problem."

He leaned in and kissed my forehead. "I'm really proud of you kiddo, you're growing up fast."

I smiled up at my father and gave him a hug. "I'm happy that mom is here but I just want you to know that I consider you my real parent. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you dad. You raised me to be who I am."

When I pulled away Charlie had glassy eyes and cleared his throat, obviously caught on my emotion. "Love you kiddo, you are the best thing that came from being with your mother and I don't regret that."

I smiled at him as he pulled away to put his baseball hat on and ventured out into the rain.

"Wait Dad! Can Edward spend the night since I'll be on the couch? His room is for Grandpa and Grandma Cullen and the house is a little packed."

Charlie grimaced at the idea. Little did he know that I spent every night with Edward, but maybe I could slowing wean Charlie into the idea of sleepovers.

"Ok but no funny business. Let me talk to him when he comes over alright?"

I rolled my eyes at his protectiveness but nodded in agreement. "Alright I promise."

An hour later, after saying goodbye to the Cullen family and promising to see everyone at breakfast, I escorted my mother and Edward back to my house. I sent Edward into the living room to talk to Charlie who was watching some sports highlights and brought my Renee up to my room to get settled. She walked around it slowly inspecting every little thing as if it were a prized treasure. I changed for bed as my mother continued to look at the millions of pictures of Edward and I all around my room. The most recent one of us as a couple was in a sea glass frame next to my bed. Edward had given it to me as a present after graduation.

"So you and Edward have become pretty serious since last time I saw you," my mother mused as she continued to inspect things.

"Yes are relationship has grown to be more than just friends," I replied as I took a seat on my bed. She turned and came to sit down next to me.

"Do you love him?"

"Very much so," I answered without missing a beat.

"He seems very passionate about you as well," she said as she stared me down.

"I'm just as passionate about him as well."

"Are you using protection?" She asked out of the blue as if it were a common question.

"Mom! Uh please no sex talk." I certainly did not want to talk to her about this. We were both sitting on my bed and that question brought up images of the depraved things Edward and I had both done on that bed countless amounts of time.

"I'm just making sure my baby doesn't end up pregnant before college like her dear old mother did. Not that I regret having you but I just want you to have different choices."

"I'm safe ok?" I added with red cheeks, trying to end this horrible conversation.

"Oh my baby's a woman! I'm happy for you," she exclaimed and clapped excitedly.

I groaned and buried my head in my hands as Renee pulled me into a deep hug.

"Bella, I know I haven't been there for you like your father has but I just want you to know that I love you and I'm so proud of the person you grew up to be."

I heard her sniffle into my hair and hugged her tighter. "Thanks Mom."

"Your father has always been a good man, he raised you right."

I smiled at her and nodded my head. After getting her all set up I made my way back downstairs to find Edward.

Edward was on the couch when I came down the stairs. He came over to me when he saw me standing in the hallway.

"So what did Charlie say?"

He rubbed his jaw in contemplation. "Pretty much not to stick my 'death stick' anywhere near your body so all your dreams can come true."

I hid my face in his chest, shaking my head in disgust. "I hate sex talks."

He laughed and pulled me closer. "I don't like them either but they sure don't make me any less hornier for you."

To prove his point he shifted his pelvis against me so I could feel just how horny he was.

I slapped his shoulder. "After that gross talk you are still horny? You are crazy."

He smirked and leaned down to nibble at my ear. "Swan, I've been crazy the second you let me inside that body of yours and don't think that I don't know you love it. I know you do."

I giggle and wrapped my arms around him. "I have a secret…" I whispered into his chest. He leaned over and rubbed my back, waiting for a response.

"I am just as horny as you are, I am just a girl so I pretend not to be." I gave him a knowing smile and he growled and threw me over his shoulder. The fast motion of him tossing me over his shoulder made the front of my body start to slide down his back. I squealed but soon Charlie walked back into the room and gave us both the warning look.

Edward almost dropped me on my face. "Sorry sir, I was trying to make her go to bed."

What a liar….

Charlie nodded and walked away. I shook my head at Edward in playful disgust. He still had me partially hanging over his arm. I slapped his butt after Charlie headed upstairs to his room. He pinched my butt in return before dropping me down onto the couch. I didn't even have time to protest before Edward's body covered my own.

We just kissed and held each other that night, afraid that Charlie would come down to check on us. I talked to him about our plans for the summer and past things we had done together that made us both quietly chuckle. We never talked about our upcoming separation, which was looming over us like a dark cloud. That night we were just content being with each other. The future might be uncertain, but the present was spectacular.


	17. Goodbye for now

**Disclaimer: All these characters belong to Stephanie Meyer.**

* * *

I fell down breathlessly on the bed as Edward lay there panting heavily.

"Ok, we need a break before my body collapses," I breathed out as I looked over at Edward's sweaty and cocky grinned face.

"I knew you would break first. I win."

I grimaced, the competitive side of me coming through as Edward reached over to pull me into him.

"Oh I lose?" I asked as Edward nodded his head with that damn grin in place.

I pushed him down onto his back and climbed on top. "Ok I have one more go left in me I think, lets make in eight times now today shall we?"

I was bluffing, but hopefully he wouldn't call me out. Inside I was screaming for him to say no because I really did feel like my body was going to collapse in exhaustion.

Edward didn't call my bluff by the worried look in his eye. "Ok you win, you win. I can't do it again right now or my dick will fall off woman."

I laughed and leaned down to kiss his cheek before jumping off the bed and walking to the bathroom.

We had come to the lake house for the weekend to just get away and spend some time together. I had to gone to an orientation the previous weekend for my college. Edward accompanied my father and me and hung out with Charlie when I had to go meetings. I listed myself as undeclared at the moment.

We still had some of the summer but the orientation was just a reminder of the coming separation that faced us for the first time in our lives since we had met each other. I was nervous and I knew it made Edward anxious as well.

I had suggested that the two of us go away for a night and the second we walked in the door to the cabin Edward had jumped me the first chance he got.

Charlie was told that I was staying at the cabin with Alice while Edward was on a trip with a friend. He rolled his eyes and sighed at me before saying, "Kid, I'm naïve but I'm not that naïve. You are an adult now, just be safe and have fun."

On night turned into a weekend. The whole time I could sense his desperation and fear in his looks, touches, and lovemaking. He was scared for the future and it was starting to rub off on me as well. I put a brave face on though so that he wouldn't sense my own fear, trying to give him as many reassurances as I could.

I came back into the room and made a disgusted face at how much the place smelled of sex and sweat. If it was my own house I wouldn't care, but this was Esme's house and I couldn't leave this place with any evidence of the debauched things Edward and I had done in it.

As I started to open up the windows Edward walked by and smacked my butt before walking into the bathroom to pee with the door open. He was _very_ comfortable around me, even with things I didn't care for like farting and burping.

I threw on one of Edward's shirts and some clean underwear before I ventured down towards the kitchen to make us some sandwiches for a late lunch/early dinner.

Soon Edward came down the stairs in his birthday suit, not seeming to have a care in the world. I think if he had the chance he would be naked every second of the day. Not that I minded.

"I thought I said you were not allowed to wear any clothes this weekend," Edward stated as he came up behind me and tried to lift my shirt up over my head.

I batted him away with a spatula. "There was a lake breeze and I was chilly. Also I don't want you to see me jiggling all over the place." I had grown more self-conscious since I had put on more weight over the summer. Edward's favorite things were eating and sex but even though sex was a good workout, it was the only exercise I was doing. I ate whenever Edward did and that was a lot, and not healthy choices.

Edward snorted and put his hands on his waist. "There is nothing that would jiggle on you except your boobs. I would enjoy seeing that, " he said with a smirk and a wink.

I rolled my eyes as he laughed. The phone rang and I answered it right away, figuring it would be Esme or Alice. Sure enough Esme was calling to see how the house was. We kind of lied and said that a bunch of school friends were going up for the weekend because we knew we would never be allowed to go up by ourselves.

I was talking to her about the weather as Edward tried to distract me with his nakedness any way he could.

"I'll show you a part that I can jiggle around", he whispered as he started to move his hips in a circle. My eyes fixed on the lower part of him that did indeed start to jiggle, well more like flop around.

I stared with my mouth open before I burst out laughing, interrupting whatever Esme was saying on the phone.

"Bella? What's happening?" Esme asked with a chuckle.

"Just your son and his weird shenanigans."

She laughed and told me she would see us tomorrow. As hung up the phone, Edward picked me up and set me on the counter, a big grin on his face.

"You are such a weirdo." I breathed out, running my hands through his hair.

He hummed with his eyes closed and kissed my nose. "I'm your weirdo."

I sighed in contentment. "Yes you are."

The next day we made it home before noon and I noticed a little blue Prius in our driveway behind Charlie's truck.

As Edward went home to see he family and unpack I ventured in to find my mother and father sitting at the table drinking a cup of coffee.

I stood in shock as I watched my Dad laugh at something she said. It was a surreal situation because I couldn't remember them ever sitting down together and talking let alone laughing. I coughed and they looked up. My father looked embarrassed and my mother just looked anxious.

She had gone back to Arizona a week after graduation and it was a surprise to see her here now especially because she made no mention of a return.

"Mom, what are you doing here?"

She smiled and pulled me into a hug. "I talked to your Dad and I thought that I would come back and spend some time with you before you go off to college."

I looked in confusion to my dad who seemed to be engrossed now in the newspaper.

It was strange to see her again so soon but as I looked at her hopeful expression I knew that I couldn't show any displeasure in spending some time with her.

"That's great Mom, I'm happy you'll be here."

She then excitedly talked about how she was going to help me shop for things for my dorm and new clothes I'll have to get. It was strange to have her here and I had to wonder why she was staying so long now after all this time.

Edward seemed just as surprised to see her, but I just shrugged when he looked at me with questions in his eyes. I knew he was just making sure I wasn't uncomfortable or upset. That night Renee stayed for dinner and cooked us turkey burgers and sweet potato fries. My father looked at it in distain but ate it anyway to make her happy. I noticed that he seemed to smile more even though he didn't say much. My parents actually looked genuinely comfortable around each other for the first time that I could remember.

My mom stayed in a hotel but I saw her everyday. She was always at the house and making dinner for us.

One night as we were washing dishes I asked her how Phil was doing. She looked away and I could see the tears in her eyes before she put her brave face on. Renee finally admitted that she had finalized a divorce from him and decided that she wanted to be back up here for the rest of the summer so she could spend time with me before I went off for college.

I was a little angry at first that now after all these years I was a priority to her since her marriage had ended but I discovered a soft spot in my heart for her as she cried about the regrets she had in life, one of them being not seeing me grow up everyday. I knew she was in a bad spot in her life so I didn't want to kick her while she was down.

I did talk to Edward about it and he let me vent whenever I needed to which helped me get rid of some of the anger I did carry inside regarding my mother.

Summer days started to pass by quickly. My mother bought a yoga studio in Port Angeles with her large divorce settlement and I was seeing her around the house a lot. She was renting a small house about half way between Forks and Port Angeles so she could be close to work and us. My father seemed to be warming up to her more and more which was good because I was trying to spend as much time with Edward as I could.

Spending time with my family was important but my life had pretty much centered on Edward for the last ten years and I wanted to spend as much time with him as I could before our separation. That summer we lived and breathed each other as much as possible. Surprisingly we didn't get sick of each other.

That summer was one of the best of my life, from everything like warm kisses every morning, to the sound of Edward's soft snoring as he snuggled against me at night.

I went on a family trip with the Cullen's to Hawaii where Edward snuck in my bed at night in the room I was sharing with Alice. We even convinced her to sleep in Emmett's room for a couple days so that Edward and I could have the privacy we needed.

We surfed and snorkeled together, lounged on the beach during the day, and I had Edward applying aloe to my pink-sunburned skin at night. He of course was a brown berry, looking so delicious that I made myself attached to him wherever we went to make sure other girls on the island didn't think he was single and ready to mingle. Edward would laugh at my jealous behavior and call me cute.

Long summer days started rounded down as reality started to creep in. The best times always seem to go by the fastest and if there was truth in that it was by how fast our summer went. Once it was the beginning of summer with so many days ahead of us and next it was the night before I left for college. Edward would leave the weekend after me so he was going with my parents to move me in.

That night there was a bad thunderstorm. Edward barely talked all day as I finished packing away my life for the next four years but I noticed he barely left my side, wanting constant contact with me.

As we lay in bed that night with the rain and wind pounding my window and Edward warm between my legs, we clung to each other as if it were the last time we ever would. In reality it would be a long time before we joined like this again so we took our time, making it slow and sweet even though I knew I would be exhausted for move-in the next day.

As Edward swiped hair away from my face he looked me over intently before gently kissing my lips as our bodies meet.

"I'm scared," he whispered against my hair as he took a steady breath.

I trembled below as my emotions got the better of me. I couldn't lie to him in that moment to make everything better, and I know he wouldn't want me to.

So I told the truth, knowing that it was hard for Edward to admit his insecurities.

"Me too," I whispered back as I clung to him tightly.

* * *

Move-in day was overwhelming. People were everywhere, parents and siblings helping new college students get settled in to their new lives. There were tables outside to sign in and collect dorm keys. I discovered that my dorm was on the fourth floor.

There was only one elevator on the floor and even though it was working, it had to be the slowest machine on earth and the line for it went all the way outside.

Charlie's patience was wearing thin and he somehow managed to talk Edward into the idea of carrying everything up all four flights of stairs. My father was red in the face as he huffed up my heavy luggage while my mom and I carried food and blankets.

My new living space was boxed shaped with two windows on the back walls, two beds, two desks, and two closets. Since my roommate did not show up yet I chose the bed, desk, and closet on the right of the small room. I didn't think it really mattered anyway since the left side was the exact mirror of the right.

As Edward and my father went to get more stuff from the car, my mom helped me make my bed and put away clothes and food. The door opened suddenly to Edward carrying my mini-frig in his arms, panting as if he was going to have a heart attack. The thing was small but heavy, and I knew he was an idiot and chose to walk up the stairs with it to impress my father. We collected the last of the items from the car, after which Edward passed out in my bed from lack of sleep the night before and his over usage of energy today. It felt like such a long day and I really wanted to cozy up in bed with him but I wanted to finish organizing my stuff. My parents left me to go walk around campus as I taped up picture collages that I had made to my side of the room.

That was how my new roommate found me, alone in my room pinning pictures to the wall with a boy sprawled out asleep in my little twin bed.

The girl, named Kate, had dirty blonde hair, a square shaped face with a straight nose and big blue eyes. We hugged each other since we had been talking through email for about a month when we found out the school paired us together.

After getting the basic greeting out of the way Kate raised her eyebrows as she noticed Edward in my bed.

"Whoa, move-in day and you already have a boy in your bed, nice work," she whispered in amusement.

My cheeks pinked in embarrassment. "Oh no, that is my boyfriend Edward, and don't worry about whispering, he sleeps through anything."

Kate laughed before placing her bags on the other bed.

"I hope you don't mind that I picked this side, I just put my stuff down but if you want to change I'll be happy too," I stated nervously.

Kate waved it off. "Both sides look identical, no need to worry."

I sighed in relief since I had already unpacked everything. I made small talk as I continued decorating. Kate was in and out since she had more stuff to bring in from her car. After putting up about a million pictures, many that included Edward, I put all my work stuff and books away in my desk.

One could definitely tell the difference between Kate and me. Her side of the room exploded with lots of zebra print and bold colors. Everything looked and smelled new. I had my bed spread from home that was light blue with flowers. The only thing new I bought for college was the mini-frig and life saving storage containers.

Edward finally woke up an hour later as I was laughing about something with Kate. He grabbed my waist as I sat on the bed next to him and snuggled into my back.

When he finally opened his eyes he looked surprised to see we had another person in the room but sat up so he could introduce himself.

"Nice to finally meet the roomie's boyfriend," Kate declared with a twinkle in her eye.

Edward smiled and ran a hand through his hair, already a mess from his little nap. I smirked at his roster head as I noticed Kate really appraise him.

"So you are the one who will be spending a lot of time with my girl this year. Keep her out of trouble please?" Edward commented in a teasing fashion but I could tell by his eyes the last part was more serious then funny.

Kate smirked and nodded her head. "I'll try my best lover boy."

A knock at the door caught our attention but it was only my dad and my mom coming to say that they wanted to take me out to an early dinner before they left. I introduced them to Kate who was very polite.

I could tell my father approved and it eased his worries about me. Kate declined the invitation to dinner since her parents were about to arrive but she told me she would meet up with me later.

We picked a local diner to have dinner, which was jam-packed with parents and their kids.

My mother and father, could not stop talking about the buildings they had seen when the toured around campus and how impressed my father was with their sports complex and fitness center. Edward who sat next to me in the booth held my hand the entire time, but barely spoke a word. I would catch him looking at me and smiling weakly to anything my parents said.

The oncoming separation that had once felt like was far in existence was suddenly minutes away. The final grains of sand falling through the hourglass of my time spent with him.

I could feel the fear starting to bubble inside of my stomach as our bill was paid and we walked back towards the parking lot next to my dorm where my dad's truck was parked. It felt like a walk to my death as my parents strolled in front of me while Edward wrapped his arm around my shoulder, keeping me close.

I had felt how sweaty his palms were becoming as we held hands in the dinner, a big sign of how anxious he was getting. Still he said no words as we walked back. A walk that felt like they were taking me to the guillotine, but instead of losing my head, I was losing my heart.

When we reached the car, I finally stepped away from Edward so my mother could hug me tight, telling me how much I was going to love it here.

My Dad smiled at me warmly as his big arms enveloped me tightly, letting me know that he was really going to miss me. I blinked back tears and told both my parents I loved them, but made sure to especially whisper my sentiment to my father who had been such a big support to me all these years.

"Stick it out here until Thanksgiving Bells, that's what they say will make the change easier than coming home right away," my father whispered, probably so Edward couldn't hear and object.

I smiled weakly, unsure if I could make that promise just yet.

Charlie looked at my mother before thumbing towards the car. "I think we should give these two a moment alone before we leave."

Both my parents took off as I turned and faced the one person I knew I wouldn't be able to hold back my tears for.

Edward looked down at me with a clenched jaw and wet eyes before pulling me into him tightly.

I couldn't hold back my choked sob as the tears fell and wet the cotton shit on his chest.

"Shh…." he whispered in a broken voice. The sound of his voice, his smell, his warmth, made me cry harder knowing it would be gone in seconds.

"Hey..." Edward said, tilting my face up with his hand. I looked into his serious expression as I bit my lip trying to keep my sobs in as the tears ran down my face.

"We'll survive this," he murmured before bending down to kiss me. My lips trembled against his as I let out a shaky breath into his mouth. His hands cupped my face as he kissed me gently and sweetly.

I felt a tear from him fall on the top my nose as Edward let out a soft whimper.

All to soon Edward pulled away and walked swiftly to the car, wiping his face with his shirtsleeve to hide the evidence of his pain, never looking back.

I knew it would kill him if he looked back at me just as much as it killed me not to look away.

There I stood, starting a new chapter of my life, crying on the sidewalk as my heart drove away.


End file.
